Mirror Fires
by Kerjen
Summary: Sequel to "Mirror Vulcan, Mirror Not": Spock's life is threatened, but Saavik is held back from saving it.
1.

Title: Mirror Fires  
Rating: PG-13 (mild adult language, violence, and sexual situations: it is the Mirror universe)  
Summary: Sequel to my "Mirror Vulcan, Mirror Not". Spock's life is threatened, but Saavik is held back from saving it.  
Archive: Anywhere you want, but please let me know where.  
Author's Note: You don't have to have read the "Mirror Vulcan" story to read this one. Hopefully, I clearly explain the events where necessary. But feel free to read if you like! Big thanks to Marla whose helped me with this story; the final draft holds some surprises for her. Thanks to Heather for her help to in beta-reading. And to the people who kept asking for a sequel when I hadn't planned one. They made the story pop into my mind.  
Disclaimer: Usual acknowledgement to Paramount/Viacom. Archernar, the Romulan name for Hellguard, and the oxygen weapon are from "Pandora Principle".

* * *

"Johnson is dead."

Kirk scanned the Vulcans across the briefing room's table. Spock was seated, Saavik at his right shoulder in the typical position for personal guards, but with her being here as _Enterprise_'s science officer, she had brought a second guard, Stron, as a backup.

He let his words hang there as bait, trolling for a response.

She answered first. "Admiral, I thought we were here to discuss--"

Kirk silenced her with an abrupt chopping motion of his hand. "We'll get to that. First, I want to talk about who murdered my Chief Guard."

Spock bristled and the obvious reaction startled Kirk. Vulcans were once a warrior race and many in the Empire were terrified of them. But they were equally renowned for their control so why did a simple statement like Johnson being dead bother Spock? He had brought them here to tease them with accusations, as always bullying against Spock's defenses for what affect he could get. He never suspected this large of an effect.

If anything, he thought Saavik would be the one to react. He knew her long enough to discover she allowed her Romulan traits to show because it made enemies deal with her as a stereotype and miscalculate her as a threat. Because of it, her control was usually weaker than other Vulcans. Giving reign to a Romulan's passions had a price.

"Do you suspect us of killing your guard, Admiral?" Spock asked defensively.

Kirk put aside his astonishment and jerked a finger at Saavik. "Lieutenant, it's a matter of record that you killed Captain Gustaf recently. How did you do it?"

She flicked a glance at Spock seeking approval; if he gave it, it was too subtle for Kirk to see. "Gustaf was going on leave and taking his woman with him. I discovered where he planned to stay and lay in wait under the bed. When he came in--"

"You shot them both through the mattress. I heard you almost emptied your phaser's energy pack."

"Yes, sir."

Kirk hid his smile. Hiding under the bed was such an old ploy, no one did it anymore so nobody checked there for assassins. He silently gave Saavik credit for thinking of it. Hell, even he now looked under his bed before lying down in it. "Johnson was killed in the same way." 

Spock instantly interrupted. "May I remind you, Admiral, you and I have a personal truce? That pact between us enabled you to rise to the rank of Fleet Admiral and I--"

"Got captain of the _Enterprise_," Kirk bit out.

"This truce includes no more assassination attempts on each other or our staffs. If I abuse that truce, you have the ability to seek revenge personally, and the command of Sulu and Terrell to pursue retribution. If you abuse the truce, I have my position as Imperial Investigator which will bring Starfleet Command down on you."

A Starfleet Investigator assigned to a starship meant the captain, or in this case admiral, was under suspicion. If the Investigator died, even if the death was natural, the captain would be charged with murder. Kirk had avoided getting an Investigator assigned for years, always pushing Starfleet Command to the breaking point and stopping, but Spock had outmaneuvered him.

Kirk's face twisted in a sneer. "Sarek must still be a favorite of the Empress."

The warning in Spock's voice sharpened. "If you believe my father thinks enough of his illegitimate son to give me this position, so be it. You will be underestimating me."

So he got to stick the dagger in a bit of Spock after all. Not that Kirk cared about the late Amanda Grayson or that some family thing kept Sarek from marrying her despite all their years together. He just enjoyed whatever chance he got to get under Spock's craw.

Saavik watched Spock carefully from behind, but when she looked up again at Kirk, she showed nothing.

He hated Saavik. She had destroyed his Tantalus Field, and through her, Spock had foiled more than one of his plots. She was a bigger thorn in his side that he'd ever thought she'd be. In the years since she came aboard, he thought she'd be killed by now or that someone would have taken her away from Spock. Everyone had failed so far. She could not be distracted, seduced, or bought. 

He leered at her body as he turned over the one word again: seduced. He realized if he ever got her into bed, she'd probably stab him in the heart before he got her clothes off. That meant he'd probably have to tie her down--

The flat of Spock's hand slapped the table. The sharp noise ended Kirk's lustful thoughts and made him wonder again: what was wrong with the Vulcan?

"Are we through here, Admiral?" Spock asked tightly.

Kirk thought fast. He definitely had Spock going and Saavik's control _was _worse than her captain's. What kind of mistakes could he get them to make?

He leaned in, talking to Spock as one friend cautioning another, darting looks at Saavik the whole time. "You know, Spock," he suggested, "you're right. _You_ wouldn't kill Johnson. You violate the truce and the consequences slap you in the face. The same is true for me. That's why I never made any more moves against you."

That was a huge lie and they both knew it. He leaned back and flipped a switch at his computer. Immediately, a recording of Saavik in the agony booth started. In it, she howled in pain, cursed Kirk, and threatened vengeance on all of his people. In the room, she tightened as she watched the image, the strain of control evident in her body. 

"Spock," Kirk went on, "maybe someone in your staff did this strike on her own. Not everyone honors ours truce as you do and Johnson was killed with the same MO as Gustaf." 

This was the part where Spock would glance at Saavik looking for her guilt or just plain ignored the accusation in which case no gain, no loss. Instead, he stunned Kirk by putting his phaser on the table within easy reach. "You have one minute, Admiral, to give your proof."

Behind him, Kirk's new Chief Guard, Richichi, stepped closer, hand on his own phaser. Saavik immediately moved on line with Spock, boring into Richichi with her eyes. In their silence, the recording of her screams echoed in the room.

__

I don't get it, Kirk thought angrily. He had people watching Saavik and Spock since she came on _Enterprise_. That something personal was going on between them was something he recognized on her second day. She stood closer to her charge than any other guard did in Starfleet with a constant warning in her eyes that to get to Spock, his enemies had to go through her. It went outside the professional. And Spock had come to her rescue that same day as Kirk came close to killing her. The Vulcan didn't do that for anyone else. It didn't make sense for him to risk himself.

She even slept in his cabin on occasion, but the hidden cameras Scott placed for Kirk there only revealed Saavik sleeping across the door when she felt Spock was particularly threatened.

Spock had lovers in the past; so did Saavik, as Kirk found out, although they all ended up dead. So neither of them were asexual. He couldn't see his own flawed thinking. He judged his women by power and sex alone. Spock confused him because Saavik came from no power base and if they weren't sexual partners, why did the Vulcan risk things for her?

In his mind, he knew sooner or later, as discreet as the Vulcans were, he'd catch them and then they were vulnerable. Sex meant people were busy and not paying attention. After all, look at the late Captain Gustaf.

"No proof," he finally said tautly.

"Then do you have ship's business that requires us to stay?" 

Kirk snarled, "I'll remind you, Spock, of what you admitted yourself. You are a captain, and I am your Fleet Admiral. This ship and you ultimately answer to me, and whoever murdered Johnson will have to do the same."

He tried to stare down the Vulcan, but couldn't. So without breaking Spock's glare, he spoke harshly to Saavik. "You are Science Officer in your spare time, aren't you, Lieutenant?" 

"I do not take my duties as lightly as that, Admiral." 

"Then report!"

She nodded but waited for Stron to take her place at Spock's shoulder before moving to the computer. She shut down the recording of her in the booth; Kirk imagined her back muscles eased as she did so.

He smiled to himself as he watched the strong lines of her back melting into the curve of her hips. Wanting every small victory he could get over her, he had ordered that she was unable to wear the newer uniforms, on the grounds that the maroon jacket would cover her POW tattoo. Even with her Imperial citizenship, she was not allowed to remove the mark that showed she was not only a daughter of Vulcan, but of Romulus, born to a POW camp and therefore once an enemy to the Empire.

It also meant that the bolero tunic that exposed her stomach and arms made her cold in the _Enterprise_'s temperature set for humans. And he got to look over her curves. Unfortunately, he never thought of a good reason to keep her in a uniform skirt instead of pants.

He kept his eyes above waist level where she kept the collection of Imperial insignias hanging from her belt sash. He loathed the sight of them, each one taken from someone she had killed in the line of duty. He knew better than to wonder if Johnson's was there. She wasn't stupid; she wouldn't take the pin if she thought it'd backfire on her.

Saavik started her report, the computer showing a tall, cylinder device with its technical specifications streaming down the right hand side. "Three point five three years ago, _Enterprise _seized this device, the Genesis torpedo, from spacestation Regula I. The device was seen as an ultimate weapon, capable of destroying the population of an entire world while reforming it for Imperial colonies."

"Tell me something I don't know," Kirk said.

"Current speculation is destroying the Genesis science team was perhaps premature, Admiral."

"Ancient history," he grumbled, his visage darkening with memory. Carol had ruined their son, weakening him, making him an embarrassment. "They deserved it. Their usefulness was over."

"As you say, Admiral. I was stationed elsewhere at the time. However -- and I apologize for repeating more history -- the Genesis torpedo has one flaw: it is based on protomatter. The test world it created became unstable and unusable to the Empire." 

"And your job was to fix that problem, Lieutenant."

"Aye, sir. My science team has worked on little else since Starfleet Command reassigned us this project. No one, not in my department or at Command, has been able to extricate the protomatter from the Genesis matrix. It is impossible."

"So you admit you're incompetent."

He saw the Romulan in her burning behind her eyes. "Admiral, I admit Starfleet Command projected the protomatter inextricable. I also admit I discovered two points that Starfleet Command has ignored. First, the test world did not meet the conditions set by the Regula team and could very well have created the instability. The possibility exists the device will work under proper conditions. Second, the Empire does not suffer if Genesis only destroys worlds. We still have an extensive weapon in our hands."

Kirk mulled this over. "All right then. Let's take it for another test. I want everyone here for a briefing at 0800 tomorrow morning. That includes," he said to Spock, "your people, Sulu's, and Terrell's. A Romulan colony, close to the border, is the first target. You'll find out the specifics at the briefing. " He added perversely to Saavik, "Hope it's not anyone you know, Lieutenant." 

Spock shot to his feet, his chair almost toppling over. "Are we dismissed, Admiral?" he asked sharply and stalked out on Kirk's curt reply.

In the corridor, he fought to push down the aggravation building in him. Lately, everything seemed to provoke him. If it weren't for his taking up the Federation Kirk's challenge to overthrow the Empire, he would be settled in his duties as science officer instead of captain of the _Enterprise_.

Thinking of his former function took him to Saavik and the aggravation eased. He trusted her fully, even to work independently for himself and his cause. As his Chief Guard, she had to organize operations without his intervention. Plus, Johnson may have personally attacked her sparking a personal counterattack. So despite what he said to Kirk, he asked her, "Lieutenant Saavik, was Johnson one of our strikes?"

She answered immediately, not hesitating to speak in front of Stron. "No, Captain."

He hit the comm panel, requesting Sickbay. "McCoy here."

This was _not_ going to help his increasing testiness. "Doctor, what can you tell me about who killed Chief Johnson?"

"You're kidding me, right? Oh, of course not. It's you." The sarcasm dripped heavily. "But you might as well be. First off, hardly anything was left of Johnson and second, a standard issue phaser is indicated by the burn."

"Very well, Doctor." He went to switch off the comm panel, but McCoy wasn't done squawking yet.

"Wait a minute, Spock! You're late for your physical. When you coming down here?"

"When I see fit to, Doctor."

"You'll do it when _I_ see fit to! If you don't, I'll have you pulled out of your rank so fast, you'll meditate for a month before you realize what happened. Don't screw with me, Spock!"

"Never would I want to, McCoy. Spock out."

He returned to Saavik. "He could not tell us anything. If I asked you to speculate?"

"Captain Sulu," she suggested. "He still resents you. Despite the _Excelsior_'s transwarp drive, the _Enterprise _is still Kirk's flagship. That makes you the more important captain. Sulu wants _Enterprise_."

Saavik eased his aggravation, but these constant political games did not. "True. And if he causes problems between the Admiral and myself, he might succeed in overthrowing me. Who on board would work with him?"

Saavik looked at Stron, thinking aloud. "Chekov stayed under your command rather than transferring to another ship. He has no loyalty to Sulu and helping overthrow you gains him nothing. Perhaps worse -- Sulu may make Uhura first officer here as he did on _Excelsior_. That would causes Chekov to lose his exec position on this ship. So while he may seem the obvious choice, I do not believe he murdered Johnson. Mr. Scott is the same way. He has no loyalty to anyone but _Enterprise_ itself; he does not care who is captain. That leaves us with someone in the lower ranks."

"And we constantly sweep for security problems, sir," Stron said.

Spock nodded. He ordered the lift to stop and addressed the air. "Mr. Fathiyya?"

Instantaneously, the Andorian woman who served as his Security Chief answered. Like all Starfleet vessels, listening devices where everywhere including turbolifts. Fortunately, Fathiyya, Sulu's replacement, was loyal to Spock and a part of his buildup to overthrow the Empire. "Sir?"

"In your duties, who on this ship is loyal to Captain Sulu?"

"Currently, no one. Lieutenant Saavik killed Commander Inderjit and Ensign Nikita last month. They were the last of Sulu's spies, sir."

"Lieutenant Fathiyya is being modest, Captain," Saavik said. "She helped me with those particular removals."

The Andorian chuckled. "She's the one being modest. They never saw it coming. And stringing their bodies in Sulu's shower was a masterstroke. He not only knows his spies are gone, but that your agents can enter his quarters."

Spock arched an eyebrow. How like an Andorian to brag about the strategy. No Vulcan, not even a half-Vulcan like he and Saavik, would do such a thing. Logically, Sulu's spies had to be removed. It was done. Bragging served no purpose.

Although, Sulu's expression had most likely been very entertaining.

Puzzled by his sudden bloodlust, he asked Saavik. "You killed both?"

"Necessary, Captain. As you know, Commander Inderjit swore loyalty to you. Obviously, that oath meant nothing to him."

"And Ensign Nikita?"

"Tried to kill me. Her death was then essential, Captain."

He agreed. "As you say. Outside of Sulu, who would murder Chief Johnson?"

"Kirk himself." His eyebrow raised higher at her suggestion. "His people mean nothing to him and to throw suspicion on you, he'd sacrifice one of his guard."

Yes, he would. The time when Spock didn't care about Kirk's murders was gone. The time when he had no concerns outside of being science officer was gone. Instead, waiting for him was the constant battle of seeking allies such as the Andorians. One warlord was ready to support him, but he was weaker than his compatriots. If Spock sent Saavik and a squad to eliminate one of the stronger warlords, his ally would rise in power, but he'd be playing the system he was trying to eliminate.

Fortunately, Saavik's voice broke into these thoughts. "Permission to speak freely, Captain?"

The formality was for Stron and the listening Fathiyya. He signed off from the Security Chief. "Granted."

"Why did Kirk bother you today?"

Thinking about Kirk's behavior made the irritation swell again. "His treatment of myself and of you warranted my response."

She frowned, confused. "But, sir, it was Kirk."

"'Where offense is meant, offense is taken'," he quoted Surak. "He slighted me with his inference that I continue our private war when I have not. He insulted you with that recording."

"A fake as you well know, Captain. You made it with Stron's and Soluk's help when you rescued me from torture in the booth. Although I force myself not to wonder how many times Kirk has watched it or imagine what he does _while_ he watches it, it is still a fake." 

Spock's lips thinned in an incensed line. "He offended you with his demeaning attention and prejudgment."

"But, Spock, it's _Kirk_. If he was not leering or insulting me, I would think someone switched him with a double."

He set his jaw, ending the argument. "Even he must learn the limits to his behavior."

But Saavik obviously didn't see the discussion as closed. "Do you have second thoughts on keeping him alive?"

He thought about that. Did he regret that decision made years ago? "I need him alive for the time being." Much of the underground he built was cleverly hidden, and if found, all evidence pointed to Kirk being its leader. He not only needed the Admiral as a primary target for assassins, the man was his scapegoat. If the Empress discovered the underground, she'd be so busy punishing Kirk, Spock had time to salvage what he could for rebuilding.

He ordered the lift to continue. Saavik started to say more, but stopped herself and once more looked at Stron. His other guard's behavior was even more curious: he was staring, searching her over before turning thoughtful. Spock felt his irritation growing by the minute.

Saavik was certainly beautiful, intelligent, and strong. Stron easily could be attracted, but he also had a bondmate, T'Mes, who served in Saavik's science department. And Saavik deserved someone equal to her, and no matter how highly he thought of Stron, Spock did not see the other man as her equal.

Saavik pulled her modified tricorder, searching for lifesigns outside the lift. She motioned Stron into the point position and took her place in front of Spock. Spock watched. If she was taking such precautions for his security, Johnson's murder affected her more than she was saying.

Soluk was on duty outside Spock's cabin, protecting it from someone entering. As Spock started to go into his quarters with Saavik by his side, Stron stepped in the way.

"Sir, may I suggest Saavik remain out here?"

Absolutely stunned, Spock almost grabbed the man's agonizer to slam it on his chest. Only Stron's obvious unease recalled all the years the man served well and stopped him from getting punished. "I can imagine why you want her to stay out in the corridor with you, Mr. Stron, but I will not allow it! Mr. Saavik, with me." 

He flung himself into his quarters, the calm atmosphere failing to soothe him.

Saavik instantly spoke. "I am Stron's immediate superior, Captain. Let me deal with him."

Spock caught himself pacing. If he hadn't removed Kirk's cameras from the room, his weakness would have been telegraphed to the admiral. "What was he thinking?"

"In all honesty, I am as confused as you. I cannot fathom the cause for his behavior." 

Spock stood stock still. She did not know. She did not see the effect she had on the man. But he did and his irritation was now full blown anger. He took a deep breath. "I know the cause." She tilted her head, curious. "However, I cannot fathom his blatant disregard to duty by showing where his mind was focused."

She stepped closer, losing the formality. "I will take care of it, Spock."

The thought of her and Stron alone for that discussion put his insides at war. "Perhaps I had better do this myself." 

She stiffened. "I know my job. I can handle my people." 

He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Do not misunderstand me. I am not criticizing you." The body heat from her exposed shoulder licked at his fingers. Swimming under her skin was the powerful current of her mental presence. It was intoxicating. 

He removed his hand, shamefully realizing he should have done it at once. "I know you will take care of this. And Stron does serve well. I never had cause before to question his actions. His House and mine are deeply bound to the other, and his following me into the Fleet shows he stands by his personal oath to me." 

What was he saying? She knew all this. His eyes narrowed. "But he must take care not to overstep his bounds."

"Of course."

He dropped behind his desk, steepling his fingers. He honestly thought nothing more could happen this day. "About the Genesis torpedo, can you override the protomatter?"

She shook her head. "No one can. The matrix falls apart without it."

"For my own purposes, I wanted the Genesis torpedo to create worlds. Newborn planets are good incentive for my new allies."

She stood in front of his chessboard, contemplating the latest move he made in their game. "My team believes Genesis might still work. The torpedo's never been tested in the manner meant for it. The first planet was formed by a starship exploding in a nebula."

She made her countermove on the board, and sat down across from him, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, oblivious to him watching. "I'm more concerned about Kirk having the torpedo at all. We rid him of the Tantalus Field and now he has this."

"You destroyed the Field -- at great risk to yourself," he corrected.

She brushed the credit aside. "Even though he cannot use Genesis as he did the Field, it's still a powerful weapon. "

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I want Kirk away from the testing myself, but I cannot think of how."

She was quietly facing him, saying nothing, and he wondered what made her so deep in thought. The truth surprised him. "You look tired," she noted delicately.

Her concern flooded him with warmth. "I have not had time today for my meditations," he said.

She stood up. "Then I will leave you to them." She looked back from the door and spoke gently. "Try to rest. If you are in need of anything..." She let it trail off.

"I know." 

She left. He heard her say, "Mr. Stron, with me" before the door cut her off. Spock closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. He was tired, but he felt so restless, he could not cross the last barrier into sleep. Wearily, he rose to try meditation.

In her own quarters, Saavik spun on her second, her tone hard. "I gave you my trust, Mr. Stron. Was I wrong in doing so?" When he seemed to not understand, she stepped deliberately into his personal space. "You stood in the way of my duty with Spock a few moments ago. Do you challenge me?"

Face solemnly calm, he took out his dagger and handed it to her, pressing its point over his heart. "I gave you my trust as well. I give it to you again now. Kill me if you wish. I am yours to do with as you please." 

She hunted his expression, finding nothing but his commitment to her. She flipped the dagger around expertly in her hand and held it out to him. "Then why did you act as you did?"

He shifted in his stance and focused his eyes at a point over her shoulder. "Have you... not recognized the Captain's behavior?"

She frowned and shook her head.

He swallowed and his discomfort was painful to see. "Irritability, loss of emotional control, displaying aggression around men... The other day, he ordered the ship's course changed to Vulcan. Fortunately, he corrected himself immediately afterwards."

The truth dawned on Saavik. She suddenly recalled the earlier touch of his hand on her shoulder. She had put its heat down to her comparative chill from being exposed to the ship's cool temperature. "He's challenging other males..." Icy alarm froze her spine. _Pon farr_. Spock could die...

...if he didn't mate...

"When you are around, Lieutenant," he corrected. "I believe you aggravate his condition. You are an unbonded female and you are close to him." Her head snapped up, startled. "You trigger the male heightened protection/possessiveness." He finally noticed her surprise, but put it down to her inexperience. "It is Nature's way of making sure a female lives long enough to reproduce."

She didn't need the explanation. She might be unbonded, but all Vulcans studied the symptoms of the Time of Mating.

But his meaning finally sunk in. Spock was protecting her against who he saw as challengers. He had been jealous of Kirk and Stron. Something ancient within her thrilled at the thought, primitive instincts swelling and overpowering logic. She clamped it down.

"You have," Stron said hesitantly, "melded with him, correct?"

She resented him making it sound sullied. But then, she might only be imagining it. "Yes, especially during my tour of duty here. With Kirk onboard, we needed an unbreakable way of communicating privately."

"That mental link only draws him more." He darted a glance at her. He was still uneasy talking about this at all, but she saw he was not going to back down with her. "You must limit your time around Captain Spock. Others can take your place as personal guard. As science officer, you'll have to be careful." He spoke with heavy emphasis, "You understand the repercussions if you do not."

Now she was uncomfortable as he was but for different reasons. She dipped her head, agreeing. She walked to the other side of the room. In front of her was her weapons collection, spanning across the wall in an artful display. In her sleeping quarters was the large stellar map on the wall next to her bed, a recreation of the ancient charts made by PreReform Vulcan's warrior tribes. The flames from her firepot danced across its surface. It was a gift from Spock.

She clenched her hands behind her back. "This is not the first time Spock... has gone through this. I know of his aborted bonding with T'Pring. That could not have been the only time, surely?"

"Soluk has served longer than either of us." Of course he had. Soluk might have her job if he wasn't so psychotic. He was too loose a cannon to work independently. That he could still so faithfully serve was amazing. "He tells me Captain Spock normally chooses a woman and the guards bring her to him."

"They found women from Vulcan or they served on the ship?"

"The women weren't Vulcan. And none of them served on board _Enterprise_. The captain prefers -- not to see them afterward."

"Does that not make it more awkward, Stron? Having to explain to a non-Vulcan about -- about everything?"

"Nothing was explained."

Appalled, Saavik asked, "They brought her in unknowing what she was in store for?" 

Stron once more looked away. "The woman's mind was wiped of what happened afterwards." 

This shook her. How could Spock... but she pushed the thought away. Who was she to judge? All her sexual partners were people she had needed to kill and she had used sex as the weapon against them. Some she had melded with to gather information before killing them. At least, Spock did what he had for the sake of his survival.

Still, her voice was uneven. "And this time?"

"I do not believe the captain realizes his condition. Therefore, he hasn't indicated any woman yet. It will be difficult. We are not near any ports or starbases. If only he'd choose another bondmate."

Saavik was finding it harder and harder to talk about this. For her to bring a woman to Spock... 

But pon farr's indignity was not sex: it was the stripping of emotional control, of logic, of being anything but a primeval creature worse than their warrior ancestors --

And to fight against it meant death.

She would do what she had to. "If the woman needs to be from _Enterprise_, so be it. We can transfer her out later."

"But it means covering her disappearance as well as Spock's."

Of course! Why didn't she see it before? How to get Spock time to go through pon farr without Kirk, Sulu, or anyone wondering why he was away? Especially now with the Genesis project and Kirk looking over their shoulder. They couldn't simply turn the ship over to Chekov; it'd arouse suspicion. "You must discuss all this with Spock. He needs to make these decisions immediately."

But Stron stiffened, highly vexed. "I will not offend his privacy. He will realize his situation for himself." 

That was one time too many for her to take. How dare he feel free to come here and tell her what she needed to do, but refuse to do the same with Spock! She was pained by his advice, but she knew her duty. She ground out her orders, flinging the words like blades. "I remind you I am Chief of Spock's personal guard. _You_ are a senior member of that guard. Our foremost priority is his life and that life is threatened. I will _not_ let your embarrassment risk him further! Control yourself! This needs to be done and, as you indicated, I cannot go to Spock myself for his orders."

He stubbornly insisted Spock would realize his condition without interference.

"Not good enough. Start making contingency plans. Get me a list of suitable women and _suitable_ means they are someone who will not kill him when he's most vulnerable." Stron started to argue and she cut him off. "Remember, Spock's life before everything. No matter your discomfort." _Or mine._ Her duty overrode her personal concerns. For Spock, she'd do even this.

Down the corridor, Spock kneeled in meditation, erasing his agitation through Vulcan disciplines while going over the events of the day. He faced its problems knowing it was the only way to understand and be free of them: Kirk's insults and lustful gazes at Saavik...

...his own bloodlust over the personal attacks wishing for the moment he had been there to punish Sulu with the deaths...

...and Stron's jealous behavior...

And as he once more grew furious over Stron, the urge to punish the man filling him like a hunger, Spock's eyelids flew open. No, not Stron... _his _jealous behavior! The desire to hurt Kirk for his arrogance and challenges, and Stron for looking at Saavik -- not with desire but because he saw Spock's changed attention. His order the other day to set course for Vulcan... that alone should have signaled him that the Time of Mating was again on him. 

Despair rose in him and he fought it back. He needed the meditation and all its disciplines so he could hold on until he could deal with the Fires.

But the meditation only brought the knowledge that he allowed, for the first time in years, a woman to grow important to him. And with that knowledge came the longing for her. His mind ached for the exhilarating touch of Saavik's. His instincts whispered she was his to command. Why not just make her his?

If she accepted him... which she never gave indication of.

He slumped on his meditation stone.

Denied the woman he wanted, he'd have to play the disgusting game he had in years before.

He felt sickened.


	2. 

In the main briefing room on the _Enterprise_,everyone waited for Kirk's presentationon the Genesis project. Saavik doubted the Empress had as many guards as was on display here. For each of Kirk's captains and first officers, one guard flanked the wall behind them, and as always, the inevitable argument came up that Spock had an extra guard present since she was here as science officer while Stron guarded Spock's back. And as always, Kirk had overruled the argument before the meeting began. He would arrive soon with four guards just to aggravate the situation, she was sure of it. 

Like every other time, the _Excelsior_'sand _Reliant_'s officers made derogatory remarks about Vulcans as if that evened the situation. So far the topic was Johnson's murder. No one knew who did it but they plainly didn't believe her innocence. Pointing out anyone could copy the technique she used on Gustaf fell on deaf ears. She wondered how they never tired of these petty games and watched Commander Chekov squirm as he was lumped into Spock's party.

__

Spock...

As surreptitiously as possible, she kept glancing sideways up the table. Spock seemed more brooding, but nothing more. At least, nothing more to anyone who didn't know him. She saw the strain around his eyes and how he carefully kept his hands folded on the table.

She was cut off from him. Her duties with the Genesis project covered her delegating more of her guard duties; she communicated through other officers, and here at the table, Chekov sat between them. 

It made her feel alone for the first time in years. And as Spock still chose no one to be with him, her isolation was made sharper with worry for his life.

She sensed T'Mes, her assistant science officer and Stron's wife, observing her. She quickly focused on the other's talking for the sake of distraction. Today's next anti-Vulcan topic concerned Admiral Cartwright's new mistress.

"Valeris," Terrell, captain of the _Reliant_, said. "A Vulcan. I swear. Cartwright's new woman is a Vulcan. They say he's flaunting her all around Starfleet Command."

"I heard he took her to his last presentation with the Empress," Winston Kyle, Terrell's first officer, added.

Chekov scoffed, "Rumors!" earning him a killing glance from Sulu. _Traitor_ it said.

"It's not a rumor!" Uhura said hotly. "I saw her. We both did," she indicated herself and Sulu, "when Kirk met with Cartwright on _Excelsior_. That Valeris was there. Cartwright is sick over her."

"The feeling's not mutual," Sulu said and smiled. It was oily and lewd. "Vulcan honor apparently doesn't stop you from sleeping to the top."

She ignored the stares in her direction while she mentally filed the only important point they mentioned: Kirk had met secretly with Cartwright on _Excelsior_. Why? The topic was unknown, but she knew Spock was supposed to find out about the meeting. If not, Sulu would have killed Uhura for revealing it. Kirk was pitting the two captains against each other, egging Sulu on by holding his meeting off _Enterprise_.

Richichi probably set the meeting; he once served with Cartwright.

"And with the admiral so high in favor, Valeris is getting a lot of attention," Kyle was saying. "Only Sarek still outlasts Cartwright with the Empress' patronage."

"Better be careful, Spock," Sulu said, teeth flashing in a baneful smirk. "You may not be Sarek's heir much longer."

Spock glowered hard at him, but did no more. Saavik didn't know how he held back.

The silence disappointed Uhura. "You're quiet, Mr. Saavik. You'd better be careful. Valeris was looking for Spock while she was here. Wouldn't that upset you."

Saavik kept her sigh to herself. She hated this posturing, hated more that she had to play at it. "Upset, no. Although you seem to be. Jealousy perhaps. Using sex has worked better for Valeris than it has for you."

Uhura was on her feet, dagger flashing in her hand, but Saavik knew it was coming and was up before the other woman. She slammed the woman's weapon hand down on the table. Guards snapped phasers onto targets and the men pushed back from the table. In the brief quiet, the jangle from the Imperial pins clustered on Saavik's hip jarred the ears. Uhura's eyes drop to them and her grip tightened on her knife.

"Don't," Saavik warned, dagger aimed at Uhura's head. The other woman was a real threat; she had to do this right. "If you do, you had better kill me on the first strike because I plan to scar your face badly. And with your looks gone, how long before Sulu bans you from _Excelsior_?"

Chekov and Terrell laughed while Sulu's smile grew darker. 

The door opened and Kirk plowed in with the expected Richichi, Fathiyya, and two other guards. He stopped at the display and a slow sneer crossed his face. "I evidently missed the best part of the meeting. But I need everyone alive for this mission. Stand down," he ordered the women.

They did, slowly. By chance, Saavik looked in Spock's direction as she settled into her seat. His eyes were fired with appreciation and awareness, but he quickly hid them by looking down at his padd. 

Kirk took the head of the table and remained standing. "I hope everyone here is going to have the same blood fever for our mission. This is going to put us at the top of the Fleet."

Saavik shuddered at the accidental choice of words: _blood fever. Spock's plak tow..._

Kirk activated the computer. "The Romulans have been attacking border settlements. I convinced Starfleet Command to let me -- and therefore you -- to stop the Romulans in their tracks by making an example of some of them. I plan to use the Genesis torpedo, now renamed Armageddon, on a border world used for one of our POW camps. All Imperial staff will be evacuated, the Romulans will not. You can see the planet here."

It appeared on the viewscreen: an ugly, scarred world. Saavik felt it burn into her eyes. 

"This planet," Kirk explained, "was originally Romulan property, lost during the war. In fact, the file we're viewing is from the original Romulan notes. It makes a good target both because it was once theirs and because of its proximity to the border."

Below the image, the planet's name appeared written first in Romulan script, then in English: Thieurrull. With a sadistic gleam, Kirk asked Saavik to translate the name. 

She did so, forcing any reaction out of her voice. It wasn't easy. Never, in all her preparations for this briefing, did she guess Kirk would pick this world. She should have. "Guard post to Hell, Admiral. The name appears in Romulan mythology as the place where souls of dishonored warriors go before descending into Hell itself. From it, they can hear the screams of the damned and know what is in store for them. Humans have shortened the name to Hellguard."

Kirk watched like a Romulan bird of prey himself for any change in her as he spoke. "I'm not sure if everyone in the room knows that our Lieutenant Saavik has a personal affiliation for this particular world. It is, in fact, the POW camp she herself came from."

She felt everyone's eyes snap on her and then drop to the tattoo peeking out on the underside of her left forearm. She resisted the impulse to flip her arm over and turned her face to stone. 

He asked her, pleasure immersed in every word, "Do you have any problems being a part of its destruction, Lieutenant?"

She beat him at his game. "It is a disgusting, filthy world, Admiral, and I will find it highly satisfactory firing the torpedo into its heart."

She saw his look of disappointment and didn't care. Spock's knuckles were white as they gripped his padd. She felt their separation keenly. Even after this briefing, she couldn't be alone to talk to him about what it was like to know she was going back to that world. 

Kirk returned to the mission briefing. "The _Enterprise _will go to Hellguard warning the camp commandant of the evacuation. I'm temporarily transferring to the _Excelsior _and the _Reliant _is going with us."

Sulu jeered at Spock, victorious in another point over the Vulcan captain. 

Kirk went on, "We will contact the Romulan ships on the border--" The screen turned to a tactical map displaying the latest known plot points for the Romulan border patrols. "-- warning them of the exercise and giving them the ultimatum to stop attacking the Empire or Armageddon would be used on all other Romulan border worlds. At the coordinated time, _Enterprise_ will then fire on Hellguard."

He turned sharply on Saavik. "What's the chance the planet will support life after Armageddon reforms it?"

"I estimate a 55.19% probability the world will be unstable, Admiral."

Kirk stood quietly for a moment before giving his next orders. "Send a team to monitor it. If it works, the Romulans get to look at the Empire thriving on what was once their world. If it doesn't, we've still proved a point by leaving a smoking hole."

Spock shifted in his seat. Kirk quickly noticed it and commented, "Got a problem with all this, Mr. Spock?"

The Vulcan shook his head, but his fingers tapped on the table. Saavik caught the gesture and held her breath.

Kirk smiled cruelly. "You sure? Didn't you have a problem the last time you were on Hellguard? Some relative tried to wipe you out, isn't that right?"

Saavik noted Kirk knew of the incident, but not that she was the one to rescue Spock starting their association all those years go. 

Kirk obviously enjoyed watching Spock more or less writhe. It fed his sadistic streak. "Since you're familiar with the camp, beam down to the planet personally to contact the commandant. Take Saavik."

The blood under POW tattoo throbbed in her veins.

"Oversee the science team yourself, Mr. Spock, as it takes readings of the Armageddon world. Chekov can take command while you're down there. I want you and Saavik handing me a victory or I'll have your heads."

Spock's lip twitched as if he was going to snarl. Saavik hurriedly spoke. "The readings can be taken from _Enterprise _itself. Going to the surface will be unnecessary, Admiral."

Kirk hadn't looked this evil since trying to kill her in his cabin her second day aboard the ship. The others were gloating. "I'm ordering the team to the surface, headed by Spock. Assign whoever else is necessary. You just may find out why the protomatter can't be stripped from the matrix."

"Sir," Saavik pointed out, "the readings will take a number of days. I estimate --"

But Kirk interrupted. He placed his fists on the table and leaned into Spock's face. "Make sure to pack well, Spock. Sounds like you got a long stay down there." He jerked his head at Chekov, twisting the knife into the Vulcan further. "I'm sure the ship will be there when your team is ready to beam back up."

Spock spoke for the first time. "You had better hope so, Admiral. After all, I am still an Investigator and if I die, Starfleet Command will look for a traitor in your fleet."

Kirk ground his teeth together and everyone else carefully averted their eyes. They were brusquely dismissed, but no one moved until Kirk stormed out.

Spock ordered Saavik and T'Mes to stay behind to discuss their plans for the science expedition. Stron and his wife took care in placing themselves between Saavik and him after Chekov left. Spock took this in angrily and gave a sharp order to scan the room. Stron did so and found only their own listening devices. Still, he activated a jammer giving them privacy.

Saavik looked at the others. "Kirk believed the ruse and gave us exactly the plan we wanted. Even if the planet is unstable, we have days on Thieurrull after the Armageddon torpedo is used." 

It was the only good thing to happen at the meeting. By maneuvering Kirk's antagonism through Spock's obvious agitation and her hurried comments drawing attention to it, they had orders that gave Spock time and a location he needed for pon farr. She would send the science team to other parts of the world for readings, coordinating it through herself, and give him and the woman of his choice seclusion. It was not the same as going home to Vulcan, but it was the best they could do in the circumstances. 

Seeing the effects the Fires already had on him made her stomach spin. She took a step towards him, almost calling out his name. 

T'Mes interfered. "Shouldn't we go, Lieutenant? We need to prepare for the expedition."

Over the other woman's shoulder, she saw Spock turn furious. "You are not fooling anyone, T'Mes. And Saavik must also prepare for our arrival at the commandant's office. You heard Admiral Kirk. She will be my personal guard there."

Stron calmly slipped in, back to back with his wife and facing down Spock's anger. "I believe Soluk and I will accompany you as guards, Captain. The Admiral wants Saavik there as science officer. It is unfortunate he picked this particular world, but our plans _did_ work today. You need only choose someone now."

Nothing softened the blow those words had on Saavik. But Spock's life came first.

. . . . .

__

Thieurrull, Underground, Camp Commandant's office

Commander Sumic was more than pleased to be leaving and Spock fought the temptation to snap the man's neck.

They toured Thieurrull's subterraneous labs and command centers, Sumic making note of what equipment to evacuate with his personnel. His constant prattle grated harshly on Spock's strained control. He never thought Vulcans capable of babbling until he met Sumic. Maybe that was why the commandant was stationed in this hell.

But Spock's brutal sense of honesty made him face his reaction to the other Vulcan. Sumic bothered him not because of his irritating chatter or because of his complete disregard for the prisoners about to murdered, a logical reaction but also malicious at the least. No, he detested Sumic for the way he had treated Saavik. 

When she had first entered the commandant's office, Sumic saw the POW tattoo and ordered Security to seize her. It took only a moment for Spock to override the order, but in that moment, Stron and Soluk had to immediately come to her defense, supporting her as she struck against the camp guards, holding them back. That marked the first time Spock had ached to tear Sumic's windpipe out.

Even acknowledging Saavik was Starfleet didn't stop the commandant from quietly having someone look up her old prisoner records while he listened to Spock's initial report. Derisive scorn was plain on his face when Sumic saw she was a half-breed.

"I remember you now, 43919," he had said, using her prisoner ID. "I first thought you were killed in that prisoner riot years ago, but I received the report that you had obtained Imperial citizenship. Not Vulcan citizenship, however. We are far too logical to allow that."

That had marked the second time Sumic's windpipe escaped being separated from the rest of his body. 

Saavik's presence had caused a stir when they moved through the camp and then underground. Because of the damned uniform Kirk forced her to wear, prisoners and guards alike saw her tattoo. Spock had suffered with her, wishing he could talk to her about it, but he couldn't be alone with her anywhere. Not until the pon farr was over.

Which meant he had to choose a woman, a thought that disgusted him because it meant starting the whole damned process he had endured each time before.

If only...

Underground, the sight of all the food and water available to the guards while the prisoners starved and died above revolted _him_ let alone how he imagined it affecting Saavik. So when she, acting as his second, suggested she return to the surface to organize the efforts up there, he had agreed. Stron and Soluk stayed with him and T'Mes accompanied her above.

"It is good to finally leave," Sumic said. "Serving well here as only meant staying for too much of my career. I question where I will be relocated. I would prefer it not be another prison camp. Although," he gestured to the Romulan prisoners working at science stations throughout this particular lab, "our Sundered cousins have shown actual intelligence. This group works on our biological weapons development."

Spock raised an eyebrow, sincerely curious. "You trust them to work on bioweapons?"

"The weapons will not work on Vulcanoid species. These are meant for Klingons. And our 'cousins' also make good test subjects when we do work on something affecting our own species, whether that be weapons against the Romulans or research for us. Of course, we do not allow them access to the research."

"As you can see in this lab, this particular agent worked exceptionally well and will do so on all species who breathe oxygen. The weapon steals it from the air. Currently, the depletion takes five minutes. We project we can reduce that to mere seconds." 

In the indicated room, Romulans were being pulled from glass casings; in with each body was a box with brightly colored lights shining through its clear walls. The bodies were blotched, faces distorted, and hands twisted into claws that must have beat at the door trying to get out while the person suffocated. 

Spock looked at these sad corpses, Stron and Soluk just as silent at his shoulders, and noticed that in death, Romulans and Vulcans were the same. Except these people had POW tattoos.

Like Saavik. 

The Fires pounded against his control and he knew he had to get out of here. Now.

Struggling to keep his voice even, Spock bluntly told the commandant, "You have twenty-four hours to get your people aboard the _Enterprise_."

Sumic's head snapped around. "Twenty-four hours? It is not enough. You see the size of my facility."

"Coordinate with Commander Chekov and find a way. You have no more time than I have just given you."

Disgusted, he left for the surface. The paths leading back were steep and took him past the people who would be dead the next day. The prisoners looked back, their faces an open book: hatred, loathing, a desire to kill him and make him suffer as they suffered. They had no more compassion for the Vulcans than Sumic had for them. Had _he_ been so callous about life before planning to overthrow the Empire?

And yet, what could he do to save them? Remove them from the planet, and not only Kirk but also Starfleet Command and the Empress would be on top of him. All he was building to bring down the Empire that created such worlds as these would be wiped out. His logic calculated the numbers on both sides of the equation and the Romulans lost. In order to save himself so he may save countless others by replacing the Empire, these prisoners had to die.

It still ate at him.

At the mouth of the mountain entrance to these caverns, prisoners returning to the barracks were lined up and checked by the guards. Some of the prisoners carried equipment assigned for their tasks and returned them to the camp personnel at the head of the line. Here were the few humans assigned here, sprinkled through the Vulcans primarily responsible for running Thieurrull.

The dust that seemed to get everywhere blew into the entrance, the wind whistling with it. Spock's clear inner eyelids closed protectively, but his exposed skin stung when struck by the hard grains. He felt it coating his hair and body and remembered why he had abhorred this place the first time he visited it.

Despite the biting dust, Saavik stood at the entrance, silhouetted against the bright light of the day outside. The Fires within him leapt at the sight of her. The wind blew her hair into wild disarray and she held herself unbowed against the stares aimed at her.

She was a culmination of everything he respected in others, even those he fought against: Kirk's bravery and powerful desire to go out into space without the man's ambition; McCoy's tendency to prod him over things he was unwilling to face; Sarek's unyielding logic tempered by Amanda's heart. And she walked the same tightrope he did, existing in the twilight between Vulcan and not being Vulcan. When linked to her mind, he met a matching storm of logic and emotion and was given the same acceptance that they be no more of one race or the other. That was so unlike human women who said they knew who he was and wanted him for it, then immediately said they knew he wasn't in control of his emotions and would show them so in private. Or unlike the Vulcan women who said they respected his increased emotional drive but then said they expected his logic would always win out. Saavik knew if he changed to be anymore Vulcan or human, he would not be Spock.

If only....

Like a statue, she observed the prisoners as they filed past. T'Mes seemed to be trying to pull her away, but the only time Saavik moved was to turn her head to see the Romulans already inside the dormitory enclosure. Finally, T'Mes took off her field jacket, the green colored undertunic denoting sciences protecting her. She carefully laid the jacket over Saavik's shoulders.

Behind him, Stron made a strangled noise. Spock understood the man's thoughts. "Do not concern yourself, Mr. Stron. I will make sure Kirk does not find out about the uniform violation."

As they grew closer, Spock heard snatches of T'Mes' words through the wind. "...not necessary... leave for the..."

The Romulans continued to stare at Saavik, and now their whispers became shouts at her. "Traitor... Half breed... demon's spawn..." The Vulcan guards did nothing to protect her and T'Mes only had basic defense training. Spock, Stron, and Soluk picked up their pace.

Saavik finally acknowledged T'Mes speaking to her by replying. He was finally close enough that he could hear her. The skin on her uncovered chest was flecked green where the dust scraped it. Her eyes were hollow. "You do not understand. I recognize none of them."

T'Mes clearly didn't understand. Neither did he.

Saavik looked again at the prisoners. "None of them. Everyone I knew is dead."

T'Mes earned Spock's everlasting gratitude for the comfort she gave again. "You are not one of them."

"No, I am not." Saavik's voice was empty. "Nor am I one of you."

Spock swallowed hard. He was only a few steps away and detected the pain behind her expression. A rush of protectiveness aroused him.

And Soluk stepped in front of him. Unbonded Soluk was in the way of his reaching Saavik. The plak tow seeped through the breaks in his control: _Kill him! He challenges you!_

But logic reminded him: Saavik was not his. Never did she indicate she would go through the Fires with him. He could not accept challenges on her behalf.

If only...

Some whisper went through the prisoners, a man's voice. Spock didn't catch the words, but clearly Saavik had. The electrified change in her warned him. He searched the line of prisoners all the way to outside the entrance. A man stood there. He couldn't be the one who had whispered, but something about him arrested Spock's attention. He took a step or two, trying to see the Romulan's features, and suddenly identified him. _Commander Alaka'i. I heard he was captured, but who put him here so foolishly close to the border?_

Saavik's eyes were darting up and down the prisoner line. She hissed between clenched teeth, "Soluk, Stron, stay alert. Move outside, get the captain out of here. T'Mes, once we're clear of the mountain, contact _Enterprise_. We want an immediate beam out."

They started out, the male guards leading the way, Spock directly afterwards, T'Mes following him, and Saavik last, facing the rear so she could watch behind them. Spock kept his eyes on Alaka'i. He never saw the woman in the line reach the mouth of the entrance carrying a container. She opened it and threw its contents at the guards. The liquid flew in an arc, spattering human and Vulcan sentries alike. Saavik flung herself in between the danger and Spock and T'Mes. The last of the liquid splattered her.

The guards at the entrance opened fire, blowing the woman prisoner into burned ash. In those few seconds, Spock hurried to Saavik. She was blinking the liquid from her eyes and rubbed at her nose where she had inhaled some of it. Fearing acid or poison, the couple of seconds before she shrugged, confused, were an eternity. But nothing happened.

Until Alaka'i called out, "_Glory!_"

The Romulans rushed the guards, beating at them with whatever tools they had in their hands. Those that had nothing used fingers, teeth, and kicks. They yelled out to each other, calls of "Honor! Glory! Vengeance!" Their driven voices, roaring at full volume and passion, turned the words into something that made the hair on Spock's neck stand on end and he recalled his father's stories of ancient House wars.

The guards were initially overwhelmed, taken by surprise. The alarm went off, calling additional troops, but the Romulans were at the fence for the dormitories, smashing and burning the locks setting their own reinforcements free.

T'Mes was calling above the chaos into her communicator. "_Enterprise_, respond! Emergency beam out!"

Saavik ordered, "Guard bunker behind us -- get Captain Spock there! Secure it until we can transport out!"

The open area exposed them. They each picked up a body and used it as a shield. T'Mes struggled to hold the corpse and her communicator in one hand while keeping her phaser firing in the other. She yelled, "Repeat, _Enterprise_! We cannot hear you!"

Chekov's voice finally got through. "Ve're under attack! Romulan varbird just decloaked! Our shields are up, ve can't beam you up!"

Spock exchanged glances with his party. Warbird! Had Kirk given his ultimatum too soon? Did the Romulans warp here before Armageddon could be launched?

And would Chekov stay loyal or seize the _Enterprise_ captaincy by letting Spock die on Thieurrull? To justify Spock's death, Chekov needed to hide behind something like the Romulan attack.

Didn't matter at the moment. They were in the middle of a war zone.

Romulans surged up ahead of them and Saavik commanded Stron to switch with her so he stood with his wife. "Clear the lane, Soluk. We have to get through. Captain, if Soluk and I fall, shoot anyone -- _anyone_ -- that stands in your way. Hole up in that bunker until _Enterprise_ can transport you out."

He protested, wanting to protect her, but she and Soluk were firing, triggers pulled down on the phasers and kept down until the weapons screamed with the abuse. They picked up more from the dead and fired again. Cursing, he joined T'Mes in keeping their sides clear, the plak tow pulsating in his veins. _Kill! Kill!_

Screams from the dying added to the din and overpowered the chirp of his communicator. It wasn't until they reached the bunker, Soluk slamming his phaser down on the head of a panicked soldier trying to bar the door against them, that he heard it.

He answered to Chekov's shouts. "Ve've moved around the planet to recoup! Hold on, Keptin!"

"You state the obvious, Commander. How long before you return?"

Saavik called over her shoulder from the station where she worked with T'Mes. "The sensors here are not strong enough to go beyond the atmosphere. They are meant to only monitor the camp."

"Ve vere caught with our shields down," Chekov reported. "Damage to the port nacelle and a hull breach on Deck 12. Ve've lost 38 people."

Spock's control was gone, the plak tow made thirsty by the battle. His first officer was avoiding his question. Was the man covering up his plan not to come? "How long before you return!"

"Estimate ten minutes! Scotty vill reinforce the-- Vait! Keptin, vhat's happening on the surface?"

Stron activated the security screens while Spock spoke with the ship. "Explain yourself, Mr. Chekov!"

"The varbird dropped shields as soon as the planet vas between us! Are they sending down troops?"

"Captain!" Saavik called.

Groups of Romulans were disappearing before their eyes, Alaka'i one of the first. "They're beaming their people out," she said in disbelief.

Spock repeated this to Chekov. "Hang on, Keptin," his first officer said, and Spock raised an eyebrow at the man's determination. It sounded legitimate. "Ve're getting you out."

Outside, prison security continued killing what Romulans they could, but they were paying for it with their own deaths. 

He ordered his people, "Contact Commander Sumic. Tell him to get his people to the transporters. Ignore the prisoners or he'll end up dying here."

Soluk handled this duty while the battle raged on outside. The utter Romulan resolve to escape or die trying -- the Vulcans trying encircle and contain the riot -- he and Saavik in the eye of the storm seeking a way out exactly as they had decades ago. 

She was plainly thinking of the same thing. She called across the bunker to him. "If _Enterprise _cannot transport you out soon or if Chekov turns against us, we will need to find a better haven than this."

"I cannot worry over what I cannot control. As for a haven, the route you used years ago to rescue me must surely be closed by now."

She agreed. "But there will be others plus safeholes the prisoners dug for themselves. I can _estimate_ where one will be, but I prefer not having to take you out in the fighting." 

She viewed it for a moment. The death count grew alarmingly fast, the ground growing slick with green blood shot every once in awhile with a streak of red from a dying human. She got a gleam in her eye. "Spock, how well can you play dead?"

He frowned. "I do not understand."

She gestured to one of the security screens. "Hide amongst the dead, wait until the worst of the battle passes us, then move out. If we are fortunate, they will pile the bodies soon and we can cover ourselves at the bottom. That's if the ship does not respond."

On cue, thuds sounded on the reinforced door growing louder as the Romulans switched from fists to tools. Then silence followed by the whine of a phaser rifle. They were cutting in.

Suddenly one of the security screens pulled Spock's focus from the door. Another group of Romulans beamed out, but this time not just with themselves. Clasping the unconscious bodies of a few camp guards, they took their prisoners with them. As they faded from site, Spock noticed the damp tunics on the guards.

__

The people who were splashed with that container. Like--

He rushed to Saavik, pulling off T'Mes' jacket and wiping the liquid off her. She shoved him away. "No! It will contaminate you!"

"It may not be a contaminant but an identifier. They are taking the other people covered with it. It may act as a beacon to the transporter crew!"

"Even more reason for you not to get it on you. We cannot risk you falling into Romulan hands." But she took the jacket and scrubbed at the rest of her, then threw the coat to the floor and disintegrated it with her phaser. "If it was an identifier, that should lessen it." 

Spock's communicator signaled again. "Keptin, standby!"

The Vulcans were too controlled to show relief, but it crossed all their minds. In half a minute, they felt the transporter take them. One of McCoy's nurses was waiting for them, and Spock commanded him to scan Saavik first. Over the hum of the nurse's Feinberger device, Spock demanded a report from the transporter chief.

"Commander Chekov's apologizes for not meeting you here. He's waiting for you on the battle bridge."

Spock was almost out the door when the words stopped him. "Battle bridge?"

"The ship is separated. The saucer section is in the path of the Warbird, shields up, while we transported you here."

He only nodded, but he was impressed with Chekov's ingenuity. He pulled out his communicator and contacted his first officer. "Excellent work, Mr. Chekov. Now reverse it. Put us between the Warbird and the saucer. They will transport up the camp personnel."

"Sir, ve have a second varbird out there. I'm raising shields and vill carry out your orders, but it's going to take time to sort through the readings to find Wulcans instead of Romulans."

Saavik stepped down off the transporter platform. "I am on my way." 

Spock exchanged a glance with the nurse. He shook his head. "I don't see anything, Captain, but she should go to Sickbay when this is over. You all should."

Spock signaled her to follow him while he continue his orders to Chekov; Stron and Soluk immediately shadowed them as T'Mes headed for her station. "Forget sorting through the readings, Commander. Have security teams waiting and take all Romulans immediately to the brig." _They'll probably wish I killed them, just as the Halkans did._

The ship shook under a direct hit and he broke into a run, Saavik and the others easily keeping up with him. Another shake while they were in the turbolift, but this one was slighter. The shot must have been a near miss or glancing blow.

His estimation of Chekov rose again when he reached the battle bridge and found it organized and in control of the situation. How far the man had come from the young ensign who so hotly and usually disastrously planned assassinations for his superior officers.

The Russian rose smoothly from the captain's chair and crossed to the helm. "The second varbird continues to fire. Ve are limited by protecting the saucer and the damaged nacelle. The hull breach is sealed."

"How is the transporting commencing?"

"More quickly vithout sorting lifesigns from Hellguard, but not as quickly as you vould like. The Romulans fight the second they are on board. Ve have the same problem here with the people we grabbed. Our security teams are taxed."

"Tell the saucer section to stun everyone as they come on board. Sort the Vulcans out afterwards." He stepped down next to the helm and dropped his voice. "Mr. Chekov, I believe all the personal guard serve better supporting the Security efforts."

The Russian first officer was clearly startled. No senior officer ever went about without guards. Spock saw him look back to Saavik, Spock's Chief, at the science station obviously wondering if she would remain when his guards were gone. Spock took a breath, ready to order her below with the others. An illogical move since her presence amongst the warring Vulcan prison security and Romulan prisoners was like a match to a powder keg. But if Chekov needed it as a display of peace -- 

"All personal guard except Mr. Saavik, Keptin." The Russian licked his lips, but steadily looked up at Spock. "We need her at her bridge post. Mr. Nicolai!" he called. "Take your men to the transporter stations."

Chekov's Chief Guard warily looked between Spock, Saavik, and his leader. He didn't like it. 

Before his first officer reprimanded his guard, Spock ordered, "Mr. Stron and Mr. Soluk, take our people as well. Lieutenant Saavik, disarm."

He didn't turn around to see her reaction, but swiftly removed his dagger and phaser and placed them at Chekov's feet. In a second, Saavik's joined his and the clip of Imperial pins always on her hip dropped on top of the pile. They weren't weapons, but symbolic of the fact she wasn't hunting for any more.

Chekov didn't speak, but in a moment got to his feet and held out a hand. Spock was reluctant to take it. A Vulcan limited who they touched and with the plak tow... but to not take it was worse. He clasped the man's strong grip and hoped his first officer didn't notice the increased heat of his skin.

"Permission to speak freely, Keptin. If you are villing and vill swear to it, I am villing to swear my loyalty to you and stay with you on _Enterprise_ as first officer."

"I swear," Spock answered. "Your service honors me." 

He dropped the hand and put aside the combative urgings another male caused in the Fires. He swung back to the Warbirds on the viewscreen; _Enterprise _continued to barrage them with its phasers. The nearest Romulan ship rocked under the direct hits, but it protected its sister as it continued beaming up people. So did his ship.

"Get me their commander," he said.

"Sir, they have refused all contacts," his communication officer, a dark human man named Mihai Perez, said.

"Try again."

Perez signaled when the channel was open. "This is Captain Spock of the _ISS Enterprise_. Leave this world or I will be forced to destroy you with it."

Everyone on the battle bridge turned their heads in his direction, including Saavik. In the next second, she understood and swung back to her station. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the Armageddon torpedo specifications appear on one of her screens.

No one answered from the Romulan ships. On the main viewscreen, nothing changed until, as he opened his mouth to call to them again, a telltale shimmer signaled the arrival of a third Warbird decloaking. It sailed to their port flank. Then another shimmer and a fourth ship hemmed them in on the starboard side.

They immediately took hits and, worse, so did the saucer section. "Commander Chekov, the transporting?"

"Ve have two-thirds of Commander Sumic's people. The saucer section is asking to raise shields."

If they didn't, they were dead. He couldn't sacrifice those people for the ones on the surface. "Acknowledge that order. Mr. Perez, once more. This is Captain Spock of the _ISS Enterprise_. Leave this world or I will be forced to destroy you with it."

Nothing but their phaser fire and the Romulans' until laughter -- loud, sarcastic laughter -- came through the open channel.

"You have guts, I'll give you that." The viewscreen image changed to a woman of classic Romulan beauty, her hair in warrior braids, the jade tinge to her skin darker than his. "I thought all the backbone left Vulcan when we did."

"I appreciate the compliment, but I speak the truth. The Armageddon torpedo does work. Leave this world."

"I'd love to see you try. It might be worth it. But all I see is you getting your ship shot up."

__

She never heard of the torpedo! Kirk did not warn them too early. They came for Alaka'i and anyone they could get with him. "Are you interested in a prisoner exchange? We have a number of your people."

Her smile turned into a serious contemplation. "What are you up to? Never mind. Our people are warriors; they will die bravely, better than if they stayed on that hellhole of a world."

__

Enterprise shook with hits from all sides. A glance at the science station and readings from the planet appeared on a split screen with the Romulan commander. A third of the people still on the planet and how many of the prisoners?

If he wasn't able to transport people from Thieurrull, he wasn't about to let the Romulans do so, especially when they were taking _his_ people as well as their own.

He motioned Lieutenant Perez to cut vocal access on the comm channel. "Mr. Chekov, who is in charge on the saucer's bridge?"

"Lieutenant Commander Copin, sir."

"Get her. Tell her she is entering the battle. Mr. Fathiyya, I will need a proton torpedo spread soon. You will fire all tubes. Start your target locks now. You will be striking the three Warbirds that have their shields up."

"The ones with--"

"You will be protecting the saucer section. Commander Chekov, I need you to --" He leaned over his first officer's shoulder whispering his instructions. The Russian smiled, his lips pulled back in feral pleasure. 

On screen, the Romulan Commander showed her confusion. Spock knew she wondered what sort of captain allowed the enemy to see him prepare for a counterstrike. He disregarded it. Seeing told her nothing and he enjoyed attacking right under her nose.

He checked the emotion. The plak tow punctuated everything he did.

He sat back in the captain's chair and re-established audio. "Commander, one last warning."

She said respectfully, "You almost make me change my opinions of Vulcans. But you are still outgunned. _You_ leave this world. We're reclaiming it today."

"I cannot allow that. Mr. Chekov, begin."

The saucer section slammed into full impulse, leaping away. As it arced past, Chekov latched on it with a tractor beam, stealing what power he could from other systems, and slingshot the saucer even faster at the Romulan ships. It spun on its axis, flipping horizontally so it sliced in between the sister ships and fired on the one beaming people from the surface. With its shields down, it was easy prey.

The instant the tractor beam released the saucer, Spock ordered, "Now, Mr. Fathiyya. Full barrage."

Before the Romulans struck the attacking saucer section, torpedoes buffeted their other three ships.

Their commander was left staring in shock in front of _Enterprise_'s command crew. She said nothing but a light of respect shone as she saluted them.

The comm channel was cut and Spock ordered Chekov to start evasive maneuvers. The warp section dropped like a stone out of the phaser volley from the three ships. The saucer section kept its prey between it and the others.

Mihai Perez spoke suddenly, "Captain, Commandant Sumic wants to talk to you. He says it's vital."

Spock pressed a control on the arm of his chair. "Yes, Commander?"

"Immediately before we transported out, the prisoners activated the weapons I showed you. The ones for oxygen depletion."

He shot over to the science station. "Check the mountain. Can you see--"

Over the open comm, Sumic raised his voice. "It will not be confined to the mountain. The whole planet will be affected."

Throat tight, Spock told Saavik to check the atmosphere. Not sure what he was looking for, she did what he asked. In a second, she had the answer. "Oxygen levels in the atmosphere are dropping, Captain."

Five minutes and Thieurrull's oxygen would be gone. He couldn't beam up any more personnel because he couldn't lower his shields.

He wanted to close his eyes. He wanted the days back when he didn't care about saving lives from the Empire. When he---

-- ordered whole populations destroyed without any reservation. No, he did not want to return to those days after all.

He showed none of this except to Saavik when she looked up at him. His back protected them from view of the rest of the bridge. 

And for her, the Romulans and Vulcans on the planet below-- none of them would care about her if their places were switched. What were her thoughts for them?

An angry flame heated her eyes and cheeks. She nodded to him. "Your orders, Captain?" She caressed the controls behind her without twisting around. 

Blood thirst sprang up again and the plak tow's fervor almost pushed his benevolent agony away. If she hadn't spoke again, saying what she could with the bridge listening, he might have lost himself. "Admiral Kirk will be prepared."

He understood. She wanted no murders, no more than he, but they had no choice. It was Thieurrull or them. If nothing else, his commitment to bring down the Empire was renewed.

Face calm and composed, he turned back to his bridge. "Helm, began our retreat, top speed, and give the saucer section rendezvous coordinates. Prepare the Armageddon torpedo, Mr. Saavik. Mr. Perez, one last time. Get me the Romulan ship."

Their commander was less friendly now, but he didn't care. "One last warning for an honorable enemy. This planet is about to be destroyed. Its eradication will pull your ships in if you do not clear the area." No reply, just a cold stare. "Mr. Saavik, fire the torpedo."

Now he heard the Romulan's reaction, but not the one he expected. "_What's _her name?!" 

Saavik confirmed her orders and then did something Spock had never seen her do before. Her expression conflicted, she held out her left forearm so her tattoo was plainly visible to the viewscreen. In Romulan, she spoke, "He's telling you the truth. Take the chance he gives you."

The Romulan commander knew enough about the Imperial POW numbering system to understand that part of Saavik's tattoo marked her as a hybrid. A half-Romulan Starfleet officer -- the Commander looked like she'd rather believe a human than Saavik.

But Spock had given enough warnings. He told Mihai Perez to cut the comm channel again and the Armageddon Torpedo struck Thieurrull. As its wave spread out from the point of impact, the Romulan ships warped away.

Spock hoped those below on the planet died a quick death.

....

__

Unbelievable. Saavik gazed at the horizon of the reformed Thieurrull. It was not the same planet. Nothing about this glowing, healthy world bore evidence that the prison where she once scratched out a survival ever existed. This planet flourished with different climate zones: a desert, a rainforest, an arctic area, and a temperate woodland all formed in less than a day with no signs so far of instability. The planet was so reformed, the deaths that so recently happened seemed on another world.

She glanced up at the sun and wondered if it would allow the different climates to continue existing. That was if Thieurrull didn't prove unstable.

Her science team was spread around the planet, prefabricated housing used as stations for sheltering her people and providing them with the most modern equipment to get the readings she wanted. Naturally, she and T'Mes were in the desert section, sharing housing with Stron and other members of Spock's personal guard.

She quelled the uneasiness burrowing inside her as she looked down in the small valley where they built Spock's housing. Easily protected and still private, Spock was there now...

... Alone.

__

Damn him! Does he want to die?

She heard T'Mes' footfalls in the sand and went back to taking tricorder readings, but couldn't see them through her growing anxiety. Her mind spun around about what to do and only came up with one answer. She blurted this out before T'Mes could say anything. "Stron has to go down to him and get an answer!"

Through the other woman's serenity, she saw the finality against that approach. "It is too late for that. The plak tow is in its last stages. Spock would kill another male."

She respected T'Mes' opinion. The woman was older than her with a husband and grown children. Saavik only outranked the other Vulcan because T'Mes only recently followed Stron into Starfleet and like him, was satisfied to take a crewman's rank rather than attend the Academy to become an officer. She appreciated the woman spoke of pon farr at all.

The house now seemed isolated and solitary in its valley cradle -- just like its inhabitant. She stared at it, unblinking, until her eyes burned.

"Perhaps this is his choice," T'Mes said. "If so, we must respect it."

Saavik's chin came up. "The hell I do. Take control here."

T'Mes grabbed her arm, not letting her pass. "Where is your logic? You know you _cannot_ go down there."

"I know I cannot let him die. Let him snap my neck as soon as I enter the house and beat my body against its walls. If it saves his life, so be it!" 

She wrenched her arm in T'Mes' grasp, but the other woman would not let go. Saavik shoved at her, striking with her free arm, but the woman's nails were dug in and she held on. Finally, almost faster than the eye could follow, Saavik drew her dagger and laid its blade against T'Mes' throat. Her voice deepened with a harsh threat. "With you alive or dead, I am going down there. Release me."

For a moment, she thought T'Mes refused, but her hand finally gave way. Saavik spun her back to the other Vulcan and slid down the dune towards Spock.

Outside the door, she caught the sound of him playing his lytherette dimly through the walls. Surprised, she wondered how he managed to play with the plak tow so at fore. In the next second, she had her answer as Spock's voice cursed and was followed by a crash and then a cacophony as the Vulcan harp's strings grated.

She hit the door signal and waited. Nothing. With unsteady fingers, she entered her security bypass and walked in.

The sealed windows dimmed the room, but enough light remained. Dust motes floated visibly in what shafts of brightness there were. The platform with Spock's bed was empty. She kept her eyes away from it.

She found him near the field encased computers, huddled with his head buried in his hands, his body trembling with the forces tearing it apart inside. The lytherette lay upside down near one console, thrown there, its strings having been struck as it fell. Odd to hear his voice through the open comm as Stron used the database of Spock's voice to answer queries from the science team and the ship. Even more eerie to hear _her_ voice a moment later as T'Mes used another database to respond as Saavik.

The sight of him so desolate struck her dumb of the words she originally planned to say. She only managed his name. "Spock?"

Some remaining hold on himself forced out a voice that was mostly air. "...Get ...out."

"No."

His shoulders hitched at her refusal, but she didn't know what it meant. Slowly, she drew closer, approaching him as if he were a le-matya ready to strike. When he made no move, she knelt quietly by his chair.

They said nothing and finally her anxiety snapped her remaining restraint. "Tell me who you want and I'll bring her to you."

His back heaved and she realized he sobbed. Frantically, she looked wildly about the room as if she'd find an answer there. She saw the lirpa he brought with him. "Combat? Is that how you want to do this? Name someone and I'll bring him!" No reply. "Kirk? Do you want to wait for him? Or Sulu? We can do that, but their ships won't be here for days and I..."

His silence strangled the rest of her words. Her breaths were heaving as if she sobbed with him. "Not combat? Spock? ... is this woman on _Reliant_ or _Excelsior_?" She thought desperately and crossed a line she had set for herself. "One of the prisoners?"

She hadn't wanted to think about bringing one of the Romulans to him. It was too close to what happened to her own mother, but at this point, she was desperate.

Nothing. Blindly, she grabbed his wrist. "Spock, you must choose!"

His hand shot out, grabbing her at the back of the neck and forcing her to look into his eyes tinged with insanity. His voice was almost unrecognizable. "You would bring another woman to me?"

The image of it made her swallow against the pain. "For you, I would do anything. You need only ask."

He stared down at her. Something darted behind his eyes, something that wanted release. Achingly slow, he reached down with his free hand, taking hers. He barely touched her, his fingertips shaking so much they tapped against her skin. The Fires tore out his words. "And if I asked... you... if I chose... you... what would be your answer?"

The plak tow beat against her mental shields even through the slight touch of his hand. Its blow struck her less than his words. Never, never did she think Spock would choose her. She thought he didn't want her or, if he did, he left her alone for the same reasons Stron had meant. 

Her heart and her instincts, a mixture of Romulan and ancient Vulcan, thrummed with response. Her mouth parted with a raw breath and she leaned minutely towards him. But her disciplined mind whispered Stron's warning: _You understand the repercussions..._

Yes, she did. T'Mes tore into her arm because of them. But even her logic knew she was Spock's.

"My answer is... I come to you."

He sobbed again and his eyes filled with disbelief. He closed them as if they lied to him, as if she wasn't here. He opened them again to raise her hand that he still held, and he let go of her neck with his other. With his first two fingers, he stroked her fingers down to her wrist and back again, slowly, softly. He continued it, establishing the first mental link, easing her mind for the onslaught to come. The heat of passion lightninged up from the psi centers in her hand up her arm and infused her body with his desires.

She lowered her mental shields willingly against the plak tow and her surrender ignited him. She sat up higher on her knees, meeting his grasp for her while her fingers now stroked his, increasing the mental connection. The Fires caused an answering physical response, rapidly generating her own passion, so his roughness didn't hurt her. They groaned together as their minds swept up in a tangle, their hands intertwining, and their bodies pressing against each other, mouth to hips.

He slipped one hand down her back under her skirt, shoving her hard against him as his other hand tore at her uniform. She arched against him and buried her hands in his hair, pulling him down to her.

Outside, T'Mes approached her husband as he stood at the top of one dune. 

"She's gone to him." He didn't ask, he made a statement. 

She nodded. He closed his eyes.

"Was it not inevitable, my husband?"

He said nothing but started to move away.

"Stron--"

"We have our duty."

"You respect her. You have told me so. Can we not--"

He held out his two fingers to her and dropped them after brushing hers. "We have our duty."


	3. 

**Chapter 3**

Saavik was hiding something from him. Spock knew it for a certainty.

Certainly not herself. Her lovemaking was uninhibited. She often saw the desire in his eyes, coming to him before he even asked. She was passionate, tender, wild, and her desire for him increased his for her to volcano heights. Never had he enjoyed pon farr before, but with her, he didn't want it to end.

Except, what did she keep hidden deep in her mind? He could sense it, but never pulled it into the light. She gave him all her mind as freely as her body and having someone as fiercely independent as her open herself so eagerly made him hesitate to push for the one thing she kept from him.

But why did she hide that one thing, whatever it was? And why did it sadden her in the midst of what he knew were her happiest days? 

Like this moment while the Fires lay banked and sated temporarily, they talked openly about so much in their lives. The _freedom _that experience brought -- to share with her things he kept buried almost from himself, including his concerns over the underground he was building and the still weeping injury he felt from losing Amanda. 

And she gave him everything in return. He relived her days in the POW camp with her, shivering in the memories. He saw the murder of her parents -- her father's forced suicide by his own relatives and her mother by the camp guards. 

After all that, what could she not want him to see?

The intimacy of lying with her, their bodies casually touching while their words underscored the wealth of thought and emotion coming through their talking: the experience was something he'd never forget.

How could he? He thought he knew everything about her and discovered that wasn't true. He never knew until this idyllic time what it was like to be beside her as she freely laughed, smiled, and touched him, not to stir desire, but out of fondness. She switched from quiet introspection whispered in the night to mirth that bubbled out of her like a warm spring through the last thin layer of ice. And her experiences shocked him because he couldn't believe he never heard of them before.

"A dancer?" he repeated.

She nodded, her eyes twinkling. "For an exotic show. Seriously. I was aboard the _Aefran_ for only three months when Captain Hunter tells me I must get this information from a human independent trader named Turnjey. The man was obscene and nothing I did got me near him until I discovered he frequented a club on a neutral world. I learned the dancing, became rather good at it, and one night-- why are you looking at me like... you want to see it, don't you?"

He replied with mock righteous anger, claiming no interest in such common things, but her laughter sparkled over his words, and she slipped away returning with his lytherette.

"Here. I will need accompaniment. I am out of practice, but I believe I remember enough."

"What music do you expect me to play? _I _have never done such a thing as this before."

"You're attempt at being superior falls as flat as you're previous attempt to be indignant. I do not know the chords to the music -- don't smirk! _I _am the dancer, _you_ are the musician. Play--" and she hummed the song as she pulled his shirt over her for a costume. "It starts that slow, but on the second repetition, increase the speed."

She danced as if not at all out of practice. In fact, she danced so well, he never played the second repetition.

Afterwards, they lay together again and he felt sanity return, but fatigue settled in with it. Still, he stroked a lock of her hair between his fingers and murmured drowsily, "Did your dance work so well the first time?"

She smiled. It grew broader when jealousy crossed his expression as it dawned on him that if her dance was successful, this Turnjey-- 

She tenderly touched his lips with her fingers. Her humor was gone, sobered by the memory. "No. I drew his attention, but it turned ugly. He attacked me and I defended myself."

"You killed him."

"Yes, after I tore the information Hunter wanted from his mind."

He gently stroked her cheek with the lock of hair he still held. "And it haunts you." Neither of them mentioned that was illogical to be bothered, let alone bothered by something she had to do. They didn't mention it for they knew logic was not the only thing for them.

She ran her fingers in his chest hair as she thought aloud. "Yes. Because it was the first time I used sex to weaken someone for the kill."

"Inadvertently," he reminded her. Then, as her words sunk in, "First time?"

Her nod stroked his hand. "Hunter hated me. No, she hated Romulans and through me, she exercised that prejudice. In the end, I did what she asked to save myself from her torture. For the most part, the men were like Turnjey. They _deserved_ their deaths for the horrors they caused others and, if nothing else, I prevented them from ever inflicting their filth on someone else."

He knew Captain Hunter had tormented Saavik with both agonizer and booth, but he didn't know it had been this bad. Her disconnection from any positive experience overrode even the Fires' jealousy. "Surely one of your love--" No, pon farr was not overridden that much. "-- one of these men meant something? They were not all... missions?"

She rolled over and he scooped her against him so they spooned together. "The first one I thought was personal. I ignorantly thought I could experiment with such... associations. But I discovered I was _his_ mission. He taught me how foolish I had been. The last one... I didn't know it until I saw it in his dying thoughts... He was infatuated with me. He thought our night together was going to be his dream come true."

Spock burned with hurt for her and didn't know what to do. Except tell her his own shames. "I know your pain. The first time I went through pon farr, I deliberately chose a woman who was infatuated with me despite my not returning her feelings. I thought it would make the experience better for her. It was worse. She knew I didn't care and the savagery the Fires cause terrified her. She had always said she knew I had emotions and wanted to see them without my controls. She did not know what that statement meant. The destruction of her fantasy -- I did her a favor by wiping her mind. And I never chose a woman I knew again until... Saavik!" He buried his face in her hair, letting the heady sensation soothe him.

Her voice was husky from the tears held back in her throat. "I swore I would never kill someone through sex again. I was sick with the person I was. It had to stop."

He laid his head against hers and breathed into her delicate ear. "What did you do?"

"Contacted you and asked to be transferred to _Enterprise_."

He threaded his fingers into her one hand and squeezed. "Why didn't you do that earlier?"

She said nothing for a long moment, then in a quiet voice asked, "Why didn't you send for me instead of my asking?"

Because he feared what derisive behavior she might get from Kirk and the others, and there she was living yet again in hell. No wonder she had so easily dismissed his warnings about serving on _Enterprise_. "I wanted to ask you, I should have. I cannot believe I did not know any of this."

She turned to stone in his arms except for the shiver that suddenly shook her. "I didn't want you to know. I was... afraid you would reject... Spock, please -- my control is gone, I never should have--"

He shushed her words, holding her tighter, their limbs wrapped together. His answer filtering into their mental link mixed together awe, sympathy, protectiveness, and waves of tenderness. "You can tell me anything."

He thought she would tell him the hidden thing then, but she only relaxed in his arms, her rapid breathing easing until they were again at peace. 

"Were there any men since? Men because you wanted them or trusted them?"

"Yes."

He really had to stop asking these questions. His lirpa glinted in a shaft of starlight and he hungered to use it on these men. "Who?" he asked harshly.

She turned her head to gaze up at him, her voice sounding like he had forgotten the obvious. "You."

Surprise, then happiness and elation; he nuzzled his head in the curve of her neck and smiled. 

He never felt so physically and emotionally drained, and yet it still amazed him when weariness again pulled him to sleep. He didn't want to, he wanted to enjoy the freedom of feeling so good, but he had to give into it while he could before the Fires rose again.

He almost had completely succumbed to it when he heard her speak, her own voice heavy with slumber. "Spock?"

"Hmmm?"

"Does Vulcan look like this?"

He opened his eyes, peering in the same direction she did. One window of the house, tinted so no one could see in, showed the desert's moonless night. "In some ways, yes."

"I just wondered. Spock?"

"Yes?"

"I found the one thing that is from the old Thieurrull. The stars. The stars are the same ones I watched before."

He fell asleep to dreams of taking her to Vulcan and showing her the homeworld she should have had but had never seen. He dreamt of her delight and his own joy at showing her that desert as well as ShiKahr, and his childhood home with his mother's garden.

When he awoke, she was already up, framed by the light of the rising sun. She was pacing, her fingers running through her hair, the picture of restlessness. He smiled a very masculine smile. In the last day as his pon farr evened out, she rarely took advantage of the time to sleep, grabbing an hour or so then waiting impatiently for him to awake. The second he did, she slipped into his arms, pressed hard against him, already eager for him to take her, matching his aggression and once even attempting to overpower him into a more passive role. That had lead to some interesting moments.

And as he watched her, he realized he had one question that _he_ kept hidden from _her_: would she be here if it wasn't pon farr? Would she come to him if he just asked?

He padded across the floor on bare feet, pulling a blanket around them both. She snuggled back against him, the curve of her buttocks fitting against his groin. When he moaned, she kissed the underside of his chin, tracing her tongue against his throat, and wiggled her hips suggestively. He leaned down, capturing her mouth in his, and opened his mind to her. Her passions hammered into him, blazing hot.

He sensed something... different. He pulled back, cupping the side of her face. He placed his fingers into the proper position and touched her mind. Desire, passion, fierce, out of control: she burned for him as he did for her, and he thought with a thrill that she always would. But in the next second, he doubted that idea as something besides regular desire fed her passion, an edged alien thing that sought to possess him body and soul.

__

I heard of such cases, but they are rare. Did I serve as a catalyst? "Saavik," he said gently, "you are in pon farr."

And in her eyes, he saw she already knew.

They'd need more time here. He'd have to use the emergency channel to warn Stron.

But she was pushing him against the wall, pulling the blanket off of him. Then she hesitated and he saw that hidden, unknown thing naked in her eyes for the first time. It was gone before he could identify it. 

Her gaze alight with wicked enjoyment, she whispered hoarsely, "Now it is your time to dance." She smiled at his protest that he couldn't. "Oh, but you can. Let me show you how well."

Her first two fingers once more stroked his as he weakly protested, "Saavik, I cannot--" She nibbled the tip of one pointed ear and his body jumped with pleasure. She laughed deep in her throat. "Oh, I see..."

She replaced the blanket's warmth with her own heat as she caressed his body by sliding down the length of him, her mouth following the trail blazoned by her hips and breasts, and he abandoned himself to their combined fires.

The call to Stron would have to wait.

It wasn't until much later they saw the warning for the first sign of protomatter instability in Thieurrull's core. 

....

Spock's first day back onboard the _Enterprise_ and he already faced a desk full of work. The science team's reams of details on Thieurrull, the wealth of transcripts that listed the supposed orders from him that really came from Stron, the Romulans prisoners who were, for some unknown reason, _still_ on board, and Kirk's arrival the next morning. Plus his muscles ached and he still felt the last of his fatigue.

He was better than ever before in his life.

He tackled the Thieurrull data initially and got a surprise. Saavik had it done. Not all the research of course, there was too much for one person to do, but she had the research plan completed, the work broken down for her department, and their schedules set. People not assigned to the landing party, whom she had sent to bed, stayed up through the night to start the large job of processing everything and she had worked with them.

How did she do it? She should have collapsed by now, he knew that better than anyone. He calculated their time on the surface against her pon farr again. Granted, she might have needed another day, but they both knew the last day was mostly the body recuperating. He had told her she could stay the night in his cabin, they'd find a way to secret her there, but she had said she only needed sleep.

Why then stay awake through the night? Surely, she did not expect to rest today. Thieurrull was breaking up and he knew she wanted to see it no matter the conflict it gave her.

He shook his head, banishing the thought. Perhaps she'd grown restless again and exercised it through work. He wished she'd come to him...

His head drifted from the computer to stare into space. He did wish she would come to him, but he had never asked his hidden question anymore than he discovered hers.

Never mind, back to work. Saavik not only had a good start with the Thieurrull data, she was pulling a great deal of research on Cartwright's meeting with Kirk. She unearthed the communiqués that set up the conference through Richichi as she first suspected. The topic was no more than Cartwright discussing Kirk's meteor rise in the admiralty. Apparently, other admirals such as Morrow were worried about where they'd be soon if Kirk kept growing in popularity. Cartwright came to _Excelsior _to propose an alliance. Saavik noted Spock's network were searching now for which admirals opposed them. She also noted for Spock's eyes alone the estimated timeline before Kirk's next promotion.

Spock rose an eyebrow. With his pon farr over, he'd have to heal the damage done in his partnership with the admiral so when Kirk moved up, so would Spock himself. He could not take over the Empire from the captain's seat here.

He heard the guard shift changing outside and Saavik's name spoken. She must be here. He amazed himself by how much like an adolescent he acted in his excitement. He was watching the door fixedly just waiting for her to walk through it. He composed his expression in case one of the other guards came with her.

If his excitement surprised him, his disappointment crushed him when Stron and Soluk entered without Saavik at all.

No matter, he'd see her soon on the bridge, and he already planned to help with the Thieurrull data. He was certainly qualified to work with the science department.

So his good mood was returned when he greeted the two other Vulcans. They, on the other hand, were unusually somber. He asked for their reports.

Stron spoke first as usual. "Ambassador Sarek called for you while you were out, Captain."

Spock's eyes narrowed. No wonder they were doleful. "For what purpose?"

"He heard of your original scheduled trip to Vulcan and then its cancellation, both done hurriedly. He was concerned for your welfare."

__

Was he? He had to admit, Sarek bore him no ill will, but their relationship, always strained, was almost nonexistent after Amanda's death. 

__

Wait. Father realized why I-- Spock looked down at his desk. "And you told him?"

"The facts of your mission, those that could be revealed." There was more, he could tell. Stron only searched for a way to word it. "However, those facts, to one who is knowledgeable, spoke for themselves. Including who accompanied you on this mission."

Spock thought about it and simply nodded. His father knew; he'd prefer it otherwise, but could not see a problem. Stron must think otherwise, however, because his odd manner only increased. For that matter, so did Soluk's.

"About Lieutenant Saavik, sir. Is she in her quarters?" Stron asked.

"I assume." A sudden idea occurred to him. "You do not question my personal life, do you?"

"No, sir. Only our duty."

Good. Both men continued to serve well. "I believe you know that without asking. Correct, Mr. Stron?"

"Yes, Captain." 

But they didn't move. He cocked an eyebrow. "Then?"

Stron actually took a deep breath. His salute lacked some of its customary sharpness. "Aye, sir." He spun on his heel, but stopped, waiting for Soluk.

The other guard watched Spock with his usual eerie silence, and then spoke with a gentleness his captain never heard him use. "We will make it painless, Captain."

Spock's shout froze them both when they were a half step away. He was around the desk and glaring at them in the time it took them to turn around.

"Make what painless, Mr. Soluk?"

"Lieutenant Saavik's execution, sir." Spock's eyebrows disappeared under his bangs. Soluk frowned, perplexed. "You do want it painless, correct? Sir?"

"Execution?" Spock managed to ask. Breathing normally was difficult and his heart fell like a rock in his side.

"Aye, Captain," Stron answered. In no way did he look composed. "For her violation of Vulcan Law 13278 subsection 4. Romulan citizens, including prisoners of war, cannot seduce Vulcan nationals. Violations are punishable by death."

Spock turned his back on them, mind racing. _This _was what Saavik had in her mind, that thing he thought she hid from him. This caused that sadness, buried during their passion, resurfacing when she had a moment to think. 

Coming to him signed her death warrant.

And the thought hadn't been hidden from him; she thought he knew and refused to focus on it. Now he clearly remembered her thinking over her days in the POW camp, and realized why she had trembled, then rolled over, flinging herself into lovemaking. 

And why her work was organized for someone to carry on after she was gone.

"She did not seduce me," he said over his shoulder. "I asked her."

Stron spoke after a beat. "Captain, I appreciate what it takes for you to speak of this--"

"I asked her! This was my choice!"

"I do not doubt you. But you were in... you were not of a clear mind. I warned her what her presence would do to you. She knew the consequences of going to you."

"Mr. Stron! I did not ask any other woman because she was my choice! It was so from the beginning. I was only unsure if she would agree. I will _not_ have her service... her... I will not have her punished!"

Soluk opened his mouth, closed it, and dropped his gaze. Stron drew himself up and spoke instead. "Captain, no one will believe she is not guilty. A man in your condition, a Romulan POW, even a half-Romulan... and when she went into pon-- when she fell into the same condition, she did not leave you for another male."

Spock's world was breaking apart as Thieurrull itself was. He never thought someone would apply the law to this situation. He had killed her by keeping her with him. 

He faced his guards, his eyes and voice cold, hard steel. "You will not touch Lieutenant Saavik. And you will not speak of this to anyone. Are we clear?"

"Captain--" Soluk began.

"I gave you your orders. I expect you to obey them." He hurriedly contacted the bridge, giving Chekov the conn while he settled important matters elsewhere. Then he marched out of the room, stopped again in the corridor when he saw Stron and Soluk were still following him, leaving his cabin in the protection of another officer. His eyebrow rose in question. 

"We are still your guard, Captain," Stron said.

He nodded, feeling their presence wrongly next to him. Saavik should be beside him. It was her place by his side. _Why did she do it? Why be with me knowing she'd die?_

He kept himself composed. The crew must not see anything wrong. But something must have showed because people darted glances at him and hastened out of the way.

He brusquely ordered Stron and Soluk to guard Saavik's door and entered her quarters. She stood in the middle of the room, half turned away, her arms wrapped around herself, but her head snapped in his direction at the sound of him entering. Her eyes grew wide when she saw who it was.

Her arms dropped to her sides and she stood straight and strong. It made the openness of her words stand out painfully personal. "No, Spock, not you. Let Stron or Soluk kill me. If my service, if anything I have done means anything to you, honor this request. I cannot bear for it to be you."

The image of him being her executioner made him violently ill. His voice caught. "Do you think that's why I came?"

She seemed far away, further than the actual width of the room. "I knew what I was doing," she said. "We both did."

"No, I did _not_. I ignorantly thought the law did not imply to you. And my ignorance has cost you your life." He came closer wanting to touch her, feel her physically while they talked just as they had so shortly ago.

She sensed that and took a step further away. "The law very much applied to me."

"I asked you," he repeated.

"And when I entered pon farr myself? I believe I became the aggressor."

That moment came back to him: his telling her she was in pon farr, seeing she knew it, and her pinning him against the wall but pausing... "That hesitation before you touched me."

She nodded. "I knew. By some chance, if I was not prosecuted for violating the law before, the moment I touched you, I was guilty."

"You did not seduce me. I willingly stayed."

"It will not be seen as such. Who knows better than I do? My father went into pon farr and forced my mother. For being raped, she faced a death sentence."

He felt himself pale. "No one knows but us."

"Stron does. We had to contact him so he'd know we needed more time."

__

And he told Soluk, of course. The men are close friends, brothers. And most likely, Stron told T'Mes as well. If he told one t'hyla, he would tell the other. His hands clenched into fists. "I prefer Stron's execution to yours."

"I do not. He serves you well."

He amazed them both when somehow he said drily, "He hardly served as well as you."

Her mouth quirked. She said nothing, but her eyes twinkled. It died with her next words. "Others know. Sarek. T'Pau."

He crossed the last steps keeping only a breath between them. "Why?" he asked, for the moment wanting an answer to this question more than anything. "How could you say yes to me when I asked you to stay? Knowing what you did?"

As tall as she was, she still needed to look up into his eyes. Her voice was warm and her eyes gentle. "Have you ever doubted I would die for you?"

"Saavik..."

"That is my logical reason. Illogically... I suppose I found I could not bring another woman to you. Or choose another male for myself."

"I'd have killed him if you had." He held up his two fingers and after a hesitation, she touched them with her own. The slight mental contact telegraphed her arousal that he'd shol-kavife for her. They stood that way, loathe to break the moment.

But they had to. His hoarse voice grated his throat. "We will save you."

"You cannot. I do not want it backlashing--"

"I do not care. We will save you, there has to be a way. It is unfair. My father goes through the Fires with my mother, and I used to think of how I was punished for it. Now I have shared the pon farr with you, and I learn what punishment is."

She answered sadly, "The difference of being born on the other side of the Romulan border."

__

No! My mother having me was considered a huge difficulty in Vulcan society, but my father kept her. Even named me his heir after Sybok died.

And that showed him a path. "Are you pregnant?"

The abrupt question made her hand drop protectively in reflex to her abdomen. She stopped to gather her answer. "Spock, I was not prepared as I honestly did not know you were going to ask me. However, you--"

"I make no accusation. I should have prepared for this myself, but I never expected you to walk through that door. When you found me, I had given into the loathsome inevitably that I must choose someone. I was going to order a sterility shot be brought with her."

She trembled so hard, he could see it. "You choose someone... and I came to-- I interfered?"

He held her face in his hands and her shaking stilled with his staunch plea. "No, you saved me by giving me what I wanted, but was afraid to ask for. Other than the threat to your life, which I curse myself for not seeing, I regret none of our time together."

She laid her hand on his cheek. "Are you asking me if I regret it? You know my answer."

He let his breath out as if he had held it, and their foreheads leaned in until they pressed together.

He finally spoke. "The question on hand is -- could you be pregnant?"

She paused. "Is it possible? Yes. But surely I would sense the child?"

He interrupted firmly. "You do not know that for certain. Neither of us do, we have not gone through the experience before. And you will not take the pregnancy tests. Saavik, Vulcan law will keep you alive if you are pregnant. We will wait until Nature itself tells us if you are. It gives us time to find another answer in the event we need it."

She looked fondly at him. "Spock, no one will believe that excuse. Who waits?"

"People who fear what will happen if the news you are pregnant -- or suspect you are -- spreads from the Sickbay staff. The crew will soon put together who the father is."

Those words brought the chance of a baby from an abstract concept to save her life to a reality that they had created a child together. Their eyes met in shared amazement.

__

A child...

She shook it off first. "The chance still exists that I am not pregnant."

The present danger of her situation returned full force. He reached out to take her chin tenderly. "We could ensure you are. If you conceive soon, no one will know it was not from our Time of Mating."

She wrenched away, surprising him. Her eyes flashed, first with outrage, then determination softened by intimacy. "I know you look to save my life, but we must find another way. If I am not pregnant already, I will not become actually guilty of the crime for which I am accused." The warmth in her eyes deepened. "And if I bring you to my bed again, it will be because we choose to share it. Not as a tactical exercise."

Her openness amazed him to speechlessness and he savored the flush her words gave him. But his pause was taken wrong.

A shutter came down behind her eyes and she turned away, composed behind a Vulcan mask. "Not that I expect you to come to me ever again."

He felt shut out and resented it. He spun her back to face him. "Did it not occur to you I want the same thing? To have you come to me because you choose to, not because of the pon farr? Saavik--"

The intercom chimed for attention. "Captain Spock, you have a call on the priority channel."

Distracted, he stared at her as he responded. "Spock here. Who is it, Mr. Perez?"

"Sarek of Vulcan, sir."

Now their eyes met for a totally different reason. Saavik said quietly, "It begins."

He simply nodded. When she started to leave the room, he motioned for her to stay, wanting her to hear this. "Patch it through to here."

"Aye, sir."

A moment, then Sarek's distinguished features filled the screen. Spock turned it so he could sit in Saavik's desk chair. She was out of sight, but he felt her strong presence move closer him. "Greetings, Father."

"My son, you are well?"

The concern was unexpected and welcomed, but Spock saw Sarek as an embodiment of the law demanding Saavik's death and he could only respond to that. "Yes, Father. In fact, I believe I have good news. Saavik may be pregnant."

He heard her sudden intake of breath while Sarek paled on screen. "You have planned poorly, Spock."

"Like father, like son apparently. I am sure you were chastised for Mother becoming pregnant with me."

Sarek's mouth thinned into a tight line. "This is worse."

"Is it? At the time of your poor planning, Father, many must have disagreed."

"Your mother was not a Romulan prisoner of war."

Spock's voice lowered in warning. "Saavik is an Imperial citizen."

"But not a Vulcan one, and this business is Vulcan."

"Mother was not!"

Sarek closed his eyes as if seeking patience. "Spock, stop speaking like a plaintive child. When will you know if Saavik is pregnant?"

The plaintive child line hurt partly because it was true. Spock unconsciously returned to the old game of trying to out-Vulcan his father. "When I can be certain that discovering it does not cause her or our unborn infant to be a target for assassination."

"And when will that be?"

"When I can ascertain their safety, Father."

"Saavik's execution will only be rescheduled for after the birth."

She flinched and Spock hardened more against Sarek for those words. "Then I have months to plan overriding that execution."

Speaking stopped while both men regrouped. Sarek seemed to look through Spock and yet still addressed him; lines suddenly deepened on his face and he looked old, tired. "You think I do not know what this is costing you. You are wrong. I speak from experience, my son. But a continued attachment to Saavik will weaken you."

He might have listened if Sarek hadn't said that last part. "How so?"

"Do you forget what happened to her father for getting her mother pregnant?"

Saavik reeled as if struck and she gaped, strickened at what she could see of the Vulcan on screen. Her throat worked as if to speak so Spock hurriedly did so first. "Do you demand my suicide, Father? I am your heir. My death would end your bloodline. Unless, of course, those rumors of your 'closeness' to the Empress are true, in which case you can afford to lose another son."

"But what am I saying, Father? If you kill Saavik and I after the birth, you will have our child. I already know an impurely blooded heir does not disturb you."

Sarek rose up in his robes and his hard countenance had caused many to quake. "When you are able to speak free from petulance and as an adult, we will talk further. In the meantime, know if I did not care if you lived, I would not have contacted you. Sarek out."

The screen went dark and Spock dropped into Saavik's desk chair, his head heavy in his hands and cursed himself thoroughly. _ You lost control. Your illogic did nothing but make the situation worse. _"Apparently, I have turned my father against me."

Saavik took a seat next to him and laid her hand down next to his. Yesterday, she'd have touched him. "Not as bad as that. He is right. He contacted you because he wants you well. Spock--"

"No, do _not _say it. I will hear nothing of sacrificing you for me. We have time. We will either see you are not pregnant or will have months until the birth."

"And then we're dead and another child grows up in this system. Spock, listen--"

"No!" He regretted shouting immediately and took a moment to calm himself. She was the one whose pon farr was cheated of a day to regain control, not him.

He spread his fingers so they grazed her hand lying so close. If she didn't want full contact, he'd restrain himself. "I dream of replacing this system with something better. How can I do that if I cannot save you?"

A spark reached out through the gloom surrounding her, lighting her eyes. "Ever the idealist."

"And you are the practical one who grounds me. You have already beat the odds facing your mother. You _are_ an Imperial citizen. We will find a solution, but we cannot do that if you give up now."

A long pause and then she nodded. "So be it."

On Vulcan, Sarek almost slumped in front of the darkened comm station. _My son... _Why could he never tell Spock what he wanted? Why were they forever across the line from the other?

He should have listened to reports of how close Saavik was to Spock, but he had dismissed them as rumors, the same sort that put him in the Empress' bed. _Where I would be welcomed and where I would go if I wanted the Empire. But I want only Vulcan and would only turn over the Empire to Spock. And unlike his brother, he does not want anything but the _Enterprise_._

Far from Saavik being just rumors, he had seen in Spock just now a reflection of the past, when he had faced his House as they tried to take Amanda away from him.

Why was his logic always so uncertain where his son was concerned?

Sarek turned to T'Pau out of site of the comm station. "You heard."

She nodded solemnly. "What are the odds of the Romulan woman being pregnant?"

"Highly against, but still a chance. They are hybrids, but Spock has been genetically engineered to be fertile or I could not name him heir. As for Saavik, we confront the genetic similarities between the Sundered and ourselves."

"Then we must discover if she is with child, Sarek. And if she is not, we will have to do what Spock refuses to carry out. Order your men."

For one of the few times in his life, Sarek stood against her. "I will not have Spock harmed."

She agreed. "If he conforms to what must be done, he is safe."


	4. 

**Chapter 4**

Saavik willed her shoulder muscles to ease. _I am safe_. But her body only tightened again, knowing it to be a lie. Waiting for the inevitable deathblow was illogical and would distract her from guarding Spock, yet she found that she couldn't stop it. Just remembering him walking through her door as if he were her executioner made her heart pound loudly still. Her hands clenched into fists. 

She could not believe she was still alive. 

At her back, she could feel the strangely comforting presence of Stron and Soluk, and some of the tension eased to be replaced by a soft dazed awe. _They are pleased that I am alive_. The display of utter loyalty _to her_ made her genuinely puzzled. 

But her body knew what her mind knew and the temporary easing vanished. Vulcan was not her world and their law would see her dead, their message clear: _your reprieve lasts only if you are pregnant_. 

Pregnant... 

She covered her abdomen again wondering if a small life was behind the strong smooth muscles under her hand. She bit her lip, finding she wanted as she had never wanted anything before to believe Spock's story herself. 

A child... 

Spock noticed where her attention lay and almost brushed her with his fingertips when they both became acutely aware again of Stron and Soluk flanking them in the lift. She hastily folded her hands behind her back and stared fixedly at the doors. 

"Mr. Soluk," Spock cleared his throat and spoke in Vulcan for privacy's sake, "you will take the first shift as Lieutenant Saavik's guard. Choose someone trustworthy from our people for the others." 

Saavik frowned. "I am _your_ Chief Guard, Captain. And I do not have sufficient rank, even as this ship's science officer, to warrant security for myself." She could see the suddenly stubborn line of his jaw and her chin rose higher. "Assigning such people only draws attention to the situation." 

"Let it," he snapped. "Those are my orders." 

Her deep scowl warned everyone of the imminent storm. Soluk and Stron both grimaced. 

"We are honored to accept, Captain," Stron said hastily. 

"And we will find a way to make the addition appear merely logical," added Soluk. 

Saavik glowered at them both. 

Spock leaned over to whisper quietly, "Remember, it may not be just you they defend." His dark eyes glinted slyly. "And along those lines, an interesting point: as you know, pregnant Romulan women give off pheromones making males protective. Perhaps our companions behavior is our first indication." 

Saavik narrowed her eyes at him, knowing she had been outmaneuvered. 

He raised an eyebrow innocently and the doors opened. They stepped out on the bridge and her already hard-pressed composure was blown away. Thieurrull. It dominated her whole vision, its surface dark, nearly black, cracks of light in every direction. And Saavik felt her heart chill. 

_It dies_. 

The sight snatched the breath from her body. Soluk almost plowed into her making her realize she was frozen on the lift's threshold. She forced calm and moved stiffly along the upper deck to where T'Mes sat at the science station. 

"It is good to see you, Lieutenant." T'Mes rose and stood aside, returning the station to its rightful owner. 

Saavik took her seat, unable to meet the woman's eyes because she was touched at her greeting. The memory of T'Mes holding onto her, trying to save her life by keeping her from Spock on Thieurrull, rose unbidden in her mind. 

_Thieurrull_. 

"Keptin, our estimate of Hellguard's destruction is right on target," Chekov reported. 

If she had known she'd be alive today to see this, she'd have better prepared. Instead, her fatigue, the upheaval of going from certain death to a shaky chance at life, and the loss of time to regain her disciplines after pon farr left her vulnerable. And pained. Conflicting memories battled in her mind. Did she rejoice in Thieurrull, the prison planet, the hellish home, being destroyed? Or did she mourn for the reborn world where she had celebrated those idyllic days with Spock? 

A sigh threatened to escape her lips. She had never understood the Romulan mythology of Hellguard better than today. Except the dishonored soul caught between the screams of hell and the awful beauty of Paradise was her own. 

She wanted to cross to the captain's chair, to hold on to her glimpse of Paradise by standing as close to Spock as she could as Thieurrull ended, but she had no professional reason for it. She was needed at her station. 

A shadow fell across her. She kept her eyes lowered and double-checked the sensors, ensuring everything was being recorded to add with all the other data on the Armageddon torpedo. 

"A shame," Spock's deep voice said calmly. "The world, once reformed, held such promise." 

She ached at the hidden tones in his words. "Agreed, Captain." 

He had come to her. Yesterday at this time, they held each other, safe in their haven. And now, today, the haven was dying in front of them. 

Thieurrull's irony nearly choked her. 

Giant flares erupted and the terrible cracks on the surface fractured wider, the flames from the core leaping for the atmosphere like demons released. 

"Not much longer now," she murmured almost inaudibly. He'd hear her, she knew, as sensitive to her presence as she was to his. And she wondered if he felt the same awful agony inside. For whether their hope or their condemnation, Thieurrull had cradled them. And trap or release, it held them still. 

The world was now more lava than planetary crust. She calculated how much longer and counted it down in her head, seeing the last moments in abstract still frames, only vaguely catching the helm's report that the ship was safely away from the destruction. 

Then, as if two hands plowed their fingers into the world and ripped it in half, Thieurrull tore, each side shredding into yet smaller fragments. 

_Like pieces in a puzzle_, she thought oddly. As if some kind god might put it back together again someday. 

Nothing more held it in place after that and the core blew out scalding into the vacuum. She swore she felt the burning waves seep through _Enterprise_'s hull and sear themselves into her own skin. 

_It is gone_. And everything it had meant. 

Chekov handed Spock a padd. "Our orders are changed, sir." 

Saavik blinked, reality once more intruding. Mutely, she signaled T'Mes back to the station, a grim heaviness settling over her. When she had blinked, she saw the planet before her eyes. 

"Ve are meeting Admiral Kirk with the _Excelsior_ and the _Reliant_ at Varbase 5." The Russian's voice took on the careful scoffing tones of disgust, "The Empress tours her domain and ve gained the honor with the Armageddon project." 

Saavik honestly couldn't care. As her assistant joined her, she caught sight of her POW tattoo and went cold. 

Thieurrull wasn't gone. 

She glanced at its fragments already cooling in space and vowed on its dying name. _I swear, if I am pregnant, you will not have my child. He or she will not bear your mark or ever be a part of you. You may have my soul, but you will never have theirs._

"The Romulans?" Spock asked. 

"Ve vill unload them at the Varbase. You're scheduled to see Commander Sumic in ten minutes. He still needs your help vith the one prisoner making all the noise. The commandant is down there now. Vill you be joining him?" 

The scheduled appointment was one of the matters set up through Stron while he acted for his secluded captain. Spock nodded at Chekov and called over to her, "Mr. Saavik, do you have everything you need here?" 

Oh, the answers that came to mind for that question, but the only one she could give was, "Aye, sir." 

"Helm, set a course for Warbase 5. Mr. Chekov, you have the conn. I will be below." 

He had to go and Soluk was here. And never, since the first days when she learned to survive in the POW camp, was she defenseless. No reason for her to feel more exposed, but when the lift whisked Spock away from the bridge, her shoulder muscles tensed again. 

She returned to her work, losing herself in the challenges of her scientific research. And yet, her eyes strayed to the viewscreen as they pulled out of Thieurrull's orbit. 

"We need to review this in the labs," T'Mes said, unaware of her companion's wayward attention. 

Saavik snapped back to the data. "Yes, of course. Commander Chekov?" The Russian looked over from the captain's chair. "Permission to go to the labs, sir. Our research is better done there." _Although I still do not know how to explain Soluk's presence._

"Permission granted. Don't bother sending for a replacement for your station. I vill take it. It vill give me a break from helm duty." 

She blinked at the unexpected answer. She didn't know Chekov was bored with his station. Although monitoring the sensors on a routine trip to a Warbase was not much more interesting than sitting in the captain's chair during the same trip. She walked past his chair before stopping to ask, "Commander, if you would, I do need some of the data run here for--" 

He eagerly jumped at the chance before she finished asking. "By all means, send vhatever you can up here." 

She politely thanked him. Behind the first officer, Fathiyya caught her gaze and nodded slowly, her antennae pricking up and forward. If Chekov meant the oath of loyalty he made the other day, it boded well for all of them. She made a mental note to mention it to Spock. _How quickly I fall back into my old responsibilities as if I do not face a death sentence still._

She spun forward in the lift and saw Thieurrull's remains as the ship leapt into warp. She felt the planet's pull on her spirit as she escaped its reach. 

In her office, she quickly set to work. The science department was consumed with the Armageddon torpedo and the Thieurrull data. As ever, one group focused on whether the protomatter could be pulled out of the torpedo matrix and what caused the instability. Others were broken down into Thieurrull's life cycle, the samples taken from the planet, and the comparison between Hellguard and the first Genesis world. 

The overwhelming amount of work actually made her relax. This is was something she could control and enjoy, something to put the other concerns at bay as she could nothing about them in this moment anyway. Her sense of logic rose to the fore, losing herself willingly in the demands of science. 

She had barely started when T'Mes suddenly asked, "Permission to speak freely?" 

Saavik warily agreed. _What does this bring?_

Switching to Vulcan, T'Mes said, "I did not think I would see you alive. As I said before, I am pleased you are, but how?" 

Saavik couldn't believe it when she felt heat flame her cheeks up to the tips of her ears. Why be embarrassed at a possible pregnancy? T'Mes eyed the bronzed green flush and Soluk's presence, and she was most likely on the bridge when the call came from Sarek. Saavik saw the woman put it together and felt the expert gaze rake over her. She didn't dare ask if T'Mes saw anything that indicated she was pregnant. And after all, how much could show? It was possible she conceived as late as yesterday. 

But if she should be able to feel the child's presence... if only she hazarded asking that. 

"My husband's respect is well given," T'Mes said. Saavik arched her eyebrows in question. "You risked death going to Spock and you fight that same sentence now. Such strength and courage earns the respect your people give you. All your people," she added significantly. 

Saavik dipped her head in a small, sincere bow. "Your service honors me." 

T'Mes returned the gesture. "If I can do anything, inform me of what it is." 

"I will. However, I believe I have endangered you and yours enough." 

"I have done nothing, Saavik, except for my required attempt to stop you going to Spock. I knew its futility. It was as ineffective as someone trying to keep Stron and I apart." 

Saavik frowned. "I cannot allow the comparison. Stron is your bondmate." 

"True. Our parents wisely matched us as we discovered. However, while you may not be formally bonded, the underlying connection is the same." 

Saavik shook her head emphatically. She had no such claim to Spock, she never could. "No, T'Mes. Spock accepted me out of need, he may even accept my coming to him now -- if I were to do so," she stressed. Vulcan law would hang over her head her entire life. "But there is a large difference between being a bed partner and what you share with Stron." 

T'Mes examined her as if she was a project in the labs. "Interesting. I am unsure if you truly believe what you say, meaning you are that unaware of the truth, or if you hide behind your words for safety's sake while you and Spock are under such scrutiny. If it is the former," the other woman concluded, "I am torn between finding your naiveté refreshing and rather amusing." 

Saavik scowled. Was T'Mes laughing at her? 

"If it is the second, I repeat my offer: anything I can do to help, I will. And Soluk obviously looks forward to any battle." 

Saavik had forgotten the male's silent presence behind her. His eyes did spark at T'Mes testimonial. Her leashed, psychotic, comrade in arms -- at least she held the leash. 

T'Mes was also looking at Soluk, then leaned in closer to whisper, "If you have any _personal_ questions, I will answer them. I know you have no family or other women you can turn to." 

That was a large thing to offer, being willing to answer questions about the pon farr and its aftermath. Or the pregnancy. She had a lot of questions about being pregnant but could ask none of them; any knowledge might show she carried no child bringing Vulcan's death sentence down on her head. 

T'Mes added wryly, "Of course, I should have made the offer _before_ you went to Spock." 

Saavik got a wicked gleam in her eye. "I managed." She dropped her voice lower. "I did wonder why a water shower was installed in the housing. I take it you or Stron?" 

T'Mes nodded. "Although Spock should have thought of it. Sonic showers become a vicious circle. Your body craves the shower during... calmer moments, but the sonics stir the Fires. Besides, for desert bred people such as ourselves, a water shower adds a touch of--" 

"Decadence," Saavik finished without thinking. She almost blushed again when T'Mes cast a knowing glance at her, but the freedom of speaking woman to woman was a gratification overshadowing any discomfort. 

"Too true," T'Mes said. 

The smile Saavik would have given unchecked yesterday had to be controlled today. Still, _something_ gave them away to Soluk who eyed them as if he were a target in a conspiracy. 

"Lieutenant Saavik, report to the brig." 

That was Sumic's voice on the comm system. Why wasn't Spock calling? She knew she shouldn't have let him near the Romulan prisoners with only Stron with him. "Saavik here. Where is Captain Spock?" 

A rustling noise and Sumic's protest to someone came over the panel, then Spock's deep voice. He must have pushed the other Vulcan out of the way. "Spock here. I need your services as a translator." 

_As a translator? What is wrong with the computer?_ "Confirmed. Saavik out." 

"Saavik, a moment. Obtain a full uniform before your arrival here." 

She became immediately engaged in a three way staring match with Soluk and T'Mes. Didn't she have enough problems without giving Kirk the opportunity to throw her in the agony booth for a uniform violation? 

What would the booth do to the unborn child? If she was pregnant. 

But Spock wouldn't tell her to do it without sufficient reason, and she couldn't question him over the open comm. "Aye, sir." 

She redirected her work to T'Mes and marked the planetary comparison between Thieurrull and the defunct Genesis planet for Commander Chekov. She withheld a sigh. She preferred the research to interacting with the Romulan prisoners, but duty was duty. 

When Spock left the bridge, he found a haughty Sumic waiting for him at the brig. A solitary prisoner was cordoned off from the rest in an interrogation room. Spock could see the Romulan male through the security field. Unbelievably, the man was stretched out on the bench, his arms folded beneath his head, and a smile tugged at his mouth as if he dreamed happily despite the shackles on his wrists and ankles. Silver hair fell in a swoop of bangs over his eyes and Spock couldn't see if they were closed. The silver stood out against a faded tan and he was not emaciated like the others; the man must not have been on Thieurrull long. 

Spock asked Sumic, "This is the prisoner giving you trouble?" 

The former commandant took umbrage to that. "He says he has information he is willing to trade for his freedom, but he refuses to give it to me. He insists he will speak only to the ship's captain." 

"You let that stop you?" 

Sumic stiffened and drew himself up even more. "He declares the information concerns a Romulan bioweapon that works on Vulcans. I know it is worth keeping him alive because the other Romulans almost killed him to stop the information from being given to us. Any interrogation procedures I use risks his death. It is worth having you speak to him first before taking the risk." 

Spock signaled the Security officers and the field was opened. Stron entered first, phaser out and aimed at the prisoner, but the man didn't move a bit. Spock let the field close behind them, Sumic almost pressed against it, and set himself to outwait the prisoner. 

It took twenty-three minutes. The man spoke without shifting his position on the bench. "No introductions? How uncivilized." 

Spock wryly noted he had hardly won the first round. "I am Spock, captain of the _Enterprise_. You wish to speak with me." 

The manacled hands came out from behind the prisoner's head to brush the silvered bangs away from his eyes. Spock saw the bruises and cuts on the man's face and wrists with more undoubtedly concealed under the prison uniform. Sumic _had_ started interrogation. Despite it, the prisoner smiled broadly. "Captain Spock -- or perhaps I should call you Cousin. We did, all of us, spring from the same Motherworld after all. Eh, Sumic?" 

Sumic coldly narrowed his eyes. "Be careful, 897065." 

"Hardly what I want to be known by." The man got to his feet and weaved for a moment, before standing tall. Stron kept the phaser steadily on him. "I am Archernar, a... businessman looking to trade, and hardly a threat to your stalwart companion there." 

Stron kept the phaser aimed and Spock didn't give the order for him to stand down. "You have information, Mr. Archernar." 

"Don't you Vulcans ever relax? There are social graces we should be enjoying. Hard to do with some of us chained up and others aiming weapons. True? No? All right, if you wish to be barbarians--" 

Sumic clubbed the man with the back of his hand and Archernar's already bruised mouth began to bleed. Spock snatched Sumic's arm as it came around for another blow. 

Archernar struggled back to his feet and his dark eyes lost all humor. "That will get us nowhere." 

"I quite agree," Spock said. He motioned the man to sit down. "You wish to trade?" 

The Romulan could not hide all his relief in getting off his feet. "Yes, if we strike a deal that benefits us both." 

Outside in the other cells, shouts rose in the Romulan language that Spock translated easily as threats made against Archernar if he kept talking. 

"And the trade," Spock kept on above the shouts, "is information about a bioweapon -- useful against Vulcans -- for your life." 

Remarkably, Archernar managed to smile again, a smile that both coaxed the receiver of his sincerity and warned he was not to be trifled with. "Yes, but let's better define that. I carved a nice niche out of the Empire for myself... my Empire that is." The grin this time was meant to convey he and Spock were men of the universe. "Curious, isn't it, how empires tend to coagulate in this neck of the cosmos. You, us, the Klingons--" 

"You were saying." 

"Ah, yes, my life. Buying my freedom with this information--" Outraged roars came from the cells again. "--does not mean you dump me on whatever world you choose. I want my carved niche back. You will agree to the coordinates I give you as my return point." 

"If we have a deal." 

"Of course." 

The Romulans outside suddenly shifted languages. It sounded like theirs, but was twisted, mutated, and Spock didn't understand it at all. 

Interrogation rooms were always audible to other cells. Screams from a prisoner had a wonderful affect on those waiting their turn. Spock could move Archernar to a quiet place, but his curiosity was aroused over why the other Romulans shifted languages. 

He motioned Sumic to join him in a corner of the room. He spoke in Vulcan. "Do you understand what they are saying?" 

The commandant scoffed. "It is a fabricated dialect they created for themselves. They call it Prisonspeak." 

Spock checked the Universal Translator. It gave him nothing. "Our computers cannot break down its algorithm." 

"They never use it enough in public for anyone to learn it. Ignore it, it is nothing." 

Spock rose an eyebrow, wondering at the man's lack of ingenuity. "Do you not wonder why they choose to use it now?" 

"Why should I? A trained pet can be taught speak on command. It does not mean he has something to say." 

Archernar snorted with laughter and Spock suddenly wondered at his own lack of ingenuity. "Apparently, he can be trained to hear another language as well. Our prisoner understands Vulcan." 

When Sumic's head snapped around to glare at him, Archernar shrugged. "Know thy enemy and you can turn him into a customer. Now who said that?" His forehead scrunched in thought and then smoothed out. "Oh yes, me." 

Spock paused to think and addressed Sumic in High Vulcan. "There's something the prisoners don't want us know, but they risk us learning their language to warn this one." 

Sumic knocked on the wall near the security field and one of the guards outside deactivated it. 

"Where are you going?" Spock asked. 

"You want to know what they're saying. I am calling your own trained pet to find out." He was at the comm panel before Spock could stop him. "Lieutenant Saavik to the brig." 

Spock was out of the interrogation room, leaving Stron to hold the prisoner, glaring down at Sumic as he finished talking and jabbed the comm unit off. Saavik's obedience was a given. But to openly demean her loyalty by. . . . His teeth gritted together. "Never refer to her by such derogatory names again. She earned everything she has and had to work ten times harder than someone like you to achieve it." 

He stalked back to Archernar before the commandant retaliated. The Romulan stared curiously at what went on beyond the security field, but obviously heard nothing above the shouts of the other prisoners. Good. Then no one heard Sumic call for someone with a Romulan name. 

"Mr. Archernar, another officer is joining us as the third authorizing agent. Merely a formality." Sumic was now back in the room. "I can approve the terms of our deal myself. For that matter, so could the commandant." 

The Romulan argued back stubbornly. "If we were in the Thieurrull prison camp which we are not. Forgive my interruption, Cousin Spock, but when it comes to a deal aboard this ship, I am better off sealing it with the captain, meaning you. Besides, the commandant and I are not on the best terms. I don't think he'd stick to any deal I gave him. He certainly didn't the first time I met him." 

Spock's attention shifted from one man to the other. "Meaning?" 

Sumic dismissed the idea. "The prisoner earned his _stay_ on Thieurrull by crossing over the Romulan border into our space. He claimed engine trouble and proposed a trade to have his ship fixed and returned." 

"Which you agreed to," Archernar said darkly, "and then went against." 

"Did you think I believed your story about engine failure? You obviously engineered your ship's problems in order to infiltrate our space." 

The Romulan, with more than a trace of satire, raised an eyebrow at Spock. "You see our problem." 

Spock saw Sumic had been right when they first met: the Vulcan had been commandant of a prison camp too long. It stagnated him. He no longer saw the enemy as anything but as vermin to grind under his heel. His power over them not only made him soft in realizing they could strike back and how, he no longer knew how to play the games to stay sharp and alive in the Empire. 

Archernar all at once leapt to his feet, the weakening pains from his interrogation sessions gone, and his eyes filled with masculine appreciation. "Next time, Cousin Spock, warn me. A man wants to look his best for such... an officer." 

Spock followed his gaze and viewed Saavik entering the brig. He did not expect his insides to tighten against another male admiring her now that pon farr was over, but they did and some of it must have showed for Archernar narrowed his eyes. 

"Am I crossing into _your_ space, Cousin? The woman is yours?" 

Spock forced himself to shake his head to the Romulan's question. He had to under Sumic's sudden piercing glower. But to stand here and watch Archernar rake Saavik with such obvious craving? 

He now took satisfaction for a more petty reason in having her covered by the full uniform. The Security detail exclaimed sharply at the sight of her in it, but Spock held a finger to his lips, then gestured to the cells around them. The men glanced around and nodded in understand. With her POW tattoo visible, the prisoners would shut up. Now they stood a chance of hearing what was going on. He'd have to hope they would not report the uniform violation to Kirk. 

His eyes caught Sumic's. 

Saavik, with Soluk in tow, joined them in the increasingly small interrogation room. As he expected, she was at her most Vulcan with having to pass by the Romulans, even though the majority couldn't see her. 

Despite the tight space, or perhaps taking advantage of it, Archernar squeezed in the small spot between Saavik and Spock. He wore his prison uniform and manacles like fine court regalia, and he bowed to her forcing Spock another few steps back. The silver hair fell in spiked bangs giving him the look of a hunter peering through the brush. "Lieutenant," he greeted her, identifying her rank insignia. He straightened and his mouth quirked. "How did a Romulan beauty like you get amongst the domesticated prey here?" 

Spock saw the telltales in Saavik that spoke of her deep unease in being discovered and her reigned in animosity towards the man who did it. He relaxed. Archernar may want Saavik so badly it vibrated like a shield around him, but he had done the worse thing possible just now. Spock saw the hardness around her eyes. 

And yet, her utter rejection didn't faze Archernar one bit. "Is it a secret then? The how you came to be here? Then something else, something to seal our... working relationship. Your name perhaps." The dark eyes danced into hers and the flash of teeth even whiter against his faded bronzed skin. "I will give you mine in return." 

Spock saw a future ahead of him where he was not allowed to be Saavik's and had to watch other men try to claim her. It made his voice sharper. He called for a padd and stylus to be brought in. "Mr. Archernar is trading information for his freedom." 

The Romulan shook a finger good-naturedly at him. "Tsk tsk, Cousin. You gave away my name. Never mind. I bet I can guess yours, my lieutenant, by the end of our time together today." 

From another cell, a voice rose in Prisonspeak, the first since Saavik arrived. Almost imperceptibly, she perked up and took the padd Spock handed her. On it was scrawled _Do you understand the prison language_? 

Archernar tilted his head back, watching with great interest. 

"Can you verify that, Lieutenant?" Spock asked. 

"Understood, Captain." She crossed to the computer access panel, entered her security code so the panel opened, and began the recorder. For appearance sake, she brought up a variety of statistics including the Romulan border. She nodded to Spock. "Confirmed." 

Archernar chuckled. "Oh, I see how this is. And what is to stop me from announcing our lovely translator's presence so everyone else knows?" 

"Do you want to live?" Saavik asked with a great deal scorn. 

That was a touch harsh. Spock noticed other signs in her now: fatigue and strain from the trials of the day. But he could not shield her. She was a senior officer; she had her duty as he had his. And he'd rather she be harsh than friendly with the other man. 

Spock repressed the thought. Obviously, the aftermath of their pon farr was still affecting him. 

Archernar's teeth flashed again. "Yes, very much so. I must also admit how very attracted I am to strong women, especially those with such husky undertones in their voices." 

Her eyes narrowed, warning him away. It fed his smile. 

Spock began to rethink stopping Sumic from striking the Romulan again. "We have gotten off track." 

His prisoner replied cheerfully, "I heartily agree, Cousin, but surely even Vulcans realize you must stop a headlong dash to enjoy life's beauty? Perhaps you have grown too used to the loveliness here." Again that flirtatious glance at Saavik. "You take it for granted." 

Spock drew a long, slow breath. Outside, the Romulans called out, only once or twice, unsure of what was going on. The calls were in their own language. He raised his voice. 

"Mr. Archernar," he spoke with calm, strong force. "I remind you, you asked for this conference. You will either start proving you have worthwhile information or take the consequences." 

The Romulan shook his head sadly. "I worry about Vulcan's future, Cousin Spock. I honestly do when you show me what blinders you wear. However, I respect your dedication to business even if that's all you see. I will uphold my end of the deal we draw--" 

Now the calls from the cells were again in Prisonspeak. Archernar's voice dropped. "But the price just went up if you want my silence about--" He jerked his head at Saavik. 

Spock put the price issue aside for the moment before he gave in to the temptation to throw the man through the nearest bulkhead. "This information, I require more details." 

Archernar bowed again to Saavik and sat down on the bench obviously trying to hide how much he needed its support. "I already said, it's a biological weapon affecting Vulcans only." 

"It kills?" 

"It can." 

"Then there's an antidote." 

Archernar smirked. "Yes. We do not always give it." 

_Typical. _ "But you have?" 

"If we get something out of it, yes." 

_Of course._ "This bioweapon... you developed it on Thieurrull?" 

Sumic fumed at the idea, but Spock expected that. Archernar shouted in Prisonspeak; Spock didn't expect that and whatever the Romulan had said, Saavik obviously didn't anticipate. 

The clamor from the cells abruptly stopped. He looked to Saavik and she nodded: Archernar had warned them to shut up. But she was frowning over something she didn't understand and sending sideways glances at the Romulan. He saw them, and his return gaze and smile were warm, not arrogant. 

"You ruined your deal," Spock declared and signaled the guards to lower the field. 

"No, Cousin. I saved my deal. What good does it do me if you learn everything through your translating tricks? I offered you an honest trade. You cannot have the information without paying for it. She got enough to wet your appetite." 

Sumic interrupted. "And we are supposed to believe rumors delivered in mongrel speech?" 

"Proof, is that what you want? Why did you not say so before?" 

Spock's raised eyebrow was the only sign of his surprise. "You have proof?" 

"Oh yes. Right on board. Now, as to my price -- since the lovely Lieutenant is the reason it's higher, perhaps I can work out a personal deal?" He stretched out on the bench and patted the slim space next to him. 

Spock's eyebrows mirrored the thin line his mouth formed. "Your proof?" 

"Simple. One of my people, a woman, splashed a number of Vulcan guards with the contents of a container at the beginning of the last prison riot. Check any of Sumic's people caught by it." 

Spock felt his skin draw tight at the bad news. Saavik's breath hitched in an unnatural rhythm before settling. He saw her reaction as she saw his. "The liquid was the bioweapon?" 

Archernar nodded. "You do have people on board that were hit by it?" 

Spock replied tightly. "Yes." 

"It should take affect soon if it hasn't already. The condition stands out. You'll see it." 

Spock wanted Saavik rushed to Sickbay, but a physical exam would reveal whether she was pregnant or not. Her one lifeline was threatened. "Are you willing to give the antidote?" 

The man's answering smirk was wicked. "Maybe. It depends. Say," he talked to Saavik now, "you were hit by the liquid. I'd definitely give you the antidote." 

The Romulans in the other cells laughed, their calls lustfully describing in their own language what Archernar wanted to give her. The edge in Spock's voice got more lethal. "We'll discuss price later, Archernar, once I determined if you speak the truth." 

He motioned the others to follow him. Sumic had already crossed outside the security field when Archernar spoke. 

"Then I will see you later, Cousin Spock, Commandant Sumic, Lieutenant... Saavik." 

She stopped in mid-stride. He did it. He guessed her name. "How?" 

His eyes twinkled. "What other name for someone whose ears perk up when they catch a sound? Whose hackles rise when she spits with fury? Who moves so gracefully? You should dance with such natural grace." 

Spock's teeth clenched hard together. 

"If your name wasn't Little Cat, it should be." 

She drew up raging when he spoke her name's meaning aloud. He chuckled happily. "There's the hackles I referred to and I'm sure I'm about to hear you hiss and spit. What it must be like to hear you purr." 

She stood over him. Her voice was hard. "Never speak my name again." 

He wiped away his smile, gazing up at her solemnly. Suddenly, he captured her left hand, shoving up the sleeve and exposing her POW tattoo. He tapped it with a fingertip. "It's a bitch when someone translates something you didn't want others to hear, isn't it?" 

She snatched her arm away and stalked from the cell, stopping only long enough to say at the door, "The warning still stands." She was gone. 

Spock looked back at Archernar and raised a satirical eyebrow. "I question your approach with women... Cousin. At least it is highly entertaining." 

The Romulan chuckled. "Why, Cousin, are you going to give me tips for winning her over?" 

Spock walked away. 

She waited in the hall next to an unconcerned Sumic, Soluk now her familiar shadow. She was stripping off the uniform jacket and long sleeve tunic, her bolero top underneath. Spock kept his eyes from the display and swept them up in his wake. _We are becoming quite the pack_, but the thought was grim. Twice today Saavik's life was threatened, first by Vulcans and this time by the Romulans. He refused to dwell on the irony. 

"Lieutenant, report." 

She did so as they made their way to the lift. "The bioweapon is legitimate, undoubtedly developed within the Romulan Empire as an interrogation tool. It breaks down a Vulcan's disciplines making him or her more susceptible to questioning. The prisoners did not say what the antidote is." 

"How was the bioweapon smuggled onto Thieurrull?" 

"It wasn't. Its formula was known by more than one captured officer. They created the batch used during the riot while working in the prison labs." 

_The slaves use the master's weapon against him_. Spock ordered the lift to the deck for Sickbay. "If he had not told the other prisoners you were translating, we may have that antidote." 

Saavik's eyebrows drew together and her voice showed she was more than a bit confused. "Actually, sir, he did not tell them I was translating. He said the computer created an algorithm. I do not understand why he did not betray me to them." 

He could think of a reason. "Who knows what goes on in such a mind? Commander Sumic, you must have your people report to Sickbay immediately." 

He had been keeping Saavik from a medical examination all day, and now she was forced to go. Sumic knew she was hit by the bioweapon and would question it if she wasn't examined. If they only knew the antidote. 

The other Vulcan nodded, but argued, "Your medical staff cleared them for duty." 

"They did the same with me," said Saavik. 

Sumic dismissed it. "Naturally. The weapon works only on Vulcans." 

Immediately, Spock had Stron and Soluk box the Vulcan commander in. "I warned you, Sumic." He pulled his dagger from its sheath. "Perhaps a half hour in the agony booth--" 

"Captain." 

He stopped at Saavik's voice. At her touch on his arm, he stepped back and the two guards with him. He was proud of the way she spoke calmly, "Permission to speak freely, Captain?" 

He nodded. 

"To everyone?" she said pointedly. 

"Granted." 

The space in the lift was tight already. When Saavik stood before Sumic, they were shoved close together, the commandant making a point of stepping back from her. Her body was tightly coiled, yes, but still displayed a Vulcan's control. Sumic, in fact, stood more aggressively than she did. Spock filed the fact away for future use. 

"You have a problem with me, Commander." She said it evenly. "I am your worst nightmare come true: a former prisoner who escaped your heel at her throat, and who you are forced to recognize as an officer and an Imperial citizen. Your opinions outside that recognition are your own. Unfortunately I cannot change them, but they will _not_ affect your duties or the running of this ship. I am touched by this new threat and I must be included in all we do to counteract it or you _will_ interfere with _Enterprise_ running efficiently. I can do nothing about your bigotry, but affect this ship and I _can_ bring down the repercussions." 

His head came up; without a height advantage, it was the only way to intimidate her. "Do not threaten me." 

"We are Vulcans. We do not threaten, we state facts. I would expect you to know that difference." 

The lift doors open, Stron and Soluk taking the point and scanning the corridor. She marched out without looking back. Spock raised an eyebrow at Sumic and followed. As he reached her, she fell into easy place at his shoulder and they left the other Vulcan behind. 

"You are more like them than you are willing to see." Sumic's voice made them pause together. "And you give them more credit than they deserve." 

He stalked out of the lift and pushed past them, forcing them abruptly from hunter to hunted as he spun on them. "I agree we must take the threat of a bioweapon seriously, but I do not automatically jump to the word of a prisoner." 

"Saavik confirms what they said." 

"And it never occurred to you they might be using you? Giving you exactly what you want? You react without logic. You assume faith where there is none. He's playing you. Do you actually think the man pulled a name out the myriad of possibilities based on a few pathetic physical characteristics?" 

Spock frowned on that, but Saavik's eyes tapered dangerously. "You told him about me." 

Sumic's face twisted arrogantly. "Of course. Yet he convinced you otherwise." 

Spock wondered what else the Romulan was told. "You, yourself, said the man had vital information based on the other Romulans' treatment of him. Did you mislead me?" 

"I did make that statement. I also said we must treat this threat seriously, but not assume it is real when they overreacted in their efforts to convince us." He spun on his heel and marched away forcing them to follow. 

It was a galling thing. 

Sickbay was finally clear of the dead and wounded from the battle above Thieurrull, so they had the medical staff's full attention. Spock explained the situation by the time Sumic's people arrived. McCoy himself worked on Saavik and she swore to herself that if he didn't warm up his clammy hands before touching her, she'd -- 

She caught hold of herself and found Spock's eyes on her. Mere hours after they decided to avoid her getting a physical examination, here she was. She gritted her teeth. They were going to lose whatever McCoy found. The only difference would be her killer. The Vulcans or Kirk. 

But if Kirk found out she carried Spock's child, she faced a different death sentence. 

Saavik suddenly frowned. Was that why Spock had never made her his woman? Kirk couldn't kill Spock because of his Imperial Investigator position, so the admiral would kill those important to him. 

She shook the thought away; it was illogical to wonder about a man that couldn't be hers. 

As tense as the situation made her, the whine of the Feinberger made her recoil slightly, and she wanted to curse out loud because she knew McCoy saw it. 

"Why are you hanging around?" McCoy snapped at Spock. "Doesn't the captain of this ship have better things to do?" 

"I want to know the results of this bioweapon immediately." 

"And I'll give them as soon as I know. What's so different about this time? Get out of here." The doctor switched the Feinberger back on and suddenly off again. His sudden grin was ugly. "You know what? I never got you to take your physical." 

_Of course not_, Saavik thought. _He was in pon farr_. 

"If you're going to hang around, do something useful." McCoy whistled to another one of his staff, quickly giving orders. Spock swung up on the next bed, and McCoy's mouth turned into a suspicious frown at the obedience. 

Spock opted for the easiest tactic. Diversion. "You are coordinating all the results, of course." 

It worked, McCoy's attention instantly shifted to Sumic's people. Saavik managed to keep her face still. 

"I would if you'd stop interrupting me, dammit!" 

The Feinberger whined over Saavik and the diagnostic levels above her head came to life with beeps and pulses. 

"What have you found so far?" Spock asked, checking the readouts on the overhead panel. 

"Not much. Fatigue, a little higher hormonal levels..." 

That was the aftermath of her pon farr. Better to let McCoy think it might be the first signs of the bioweapon. 

He took hold of her arm while running his diagnostic device over her. His hand was cold. She glared at him. The man had worked on Vulcans for years. Why couldn't he realize the outcome of touching someone with a dryer, higher body temperature? 

That was when she saw his eyes widen. She forced herself to be calm. "What is it?" 

He looked up over the medical scanner. "Just surprised as always by all the internal scarring you've collected. Broken bones, old puncture wound on your lungs, a mess of other things. There's no such thing as a Starfleet officer without scars, but you win the lifetime achievement award, Miss. Romulans must get off on beating their children." 

"Pit fighting, Doctor." Sumic joined them, looking placid over McCoy's findings. "I had forgotten the lieutenant's," he stressed the rank but only Spock and Saavik knew why, "former distinction until you mentioned it." 

"Some of it," she spoke through clenched teeth, "wasbeatings from the guards." 

Sumic nodded, not at all thrown off by the accusation. "Naturally. If a prisoner will not stay in line, a guard must award punishment." 

McCoy was still on the first point. "The Pits? I didn't know you made kids fight in them." 

Pit fighting existed throughout the Empire, from simple excavated holes in the ground to fancy arenas in expensive establishments. People fought to the death against wild animals or each other, either unarmed or with nothing more than a club or knives. Starfleet officers used to settle battles amongst themselves in the Pits until the current Empress grew tired of losing her Fleet's crew and banned it. At least officially. 

Sumic sneered at McCoy. "Not Vulcans, Doctor. It was the human personnel on Thieurrull that dug the Pits there, and it was the humans who found POWs killing and dying in them amusing." 

McCoy raised an eyebrow, confused again. "Thieurrull? Oh, Hellguard." 

Saavik suddenly smelled the dirt from the Pit's floor and walls in her nostrils again, the sweat of her challenger, the yells from the crowd or the snarls if she fought an animal. 

"I will admit," Sumic said at length, "I found the half-breeds capabilities in the Pits fascinating. Many of them are born with an increased killing anger. It strikes like a madness, giving them greater strength and agility - as well as increased resistance to such things as stun charges. However, it leaves them completely drained and vulnerable the moment it leaves them. Interesting to see. One half-breed was able to release the anger at will. Very powerful weapon." 

Catching the doctor's glance at Saavik, Sumic shook his head. "No, a male. We put him down when he reached adolescence. He became too much of a threat." 

_Shaljahn_, Saavik thought. _I remember him. He died when I was very young._

When her mother discovered Saavik couldn't release the madness at will like Shaljahn did, she said dryly, "I don't know if you just bought yourself some years or lost them. That madness could keep you alive in the arena, but the guards gun you down if you're too successful." 

"What kind of mother lets her kid fight in the Pits?" McCoy asked. 

Saavik resented his injured innocence when it _was _the humans that created and supported the fighting. "One who has no choice." 

"One who gets rewarded for it," Sumic contradicted. Then he conceded, "And one who has to do it herself. The prisoners receive extra rations, a blanket, or other dividends if they win." 

"Such as the guards not beating you that night." 

Sumic matched her glower. "I see no reason for you to complain, Lieutenant. You have obviously taken the experience and turned it into a career." He looked pointedly from her to the others in Spock's personal guard. 

She wanted to spit back that she was the science officer here, but she knew the futility in it. She only had one way to win with Sumic. "Commander, you are keeping the doctor from his duty." She tilted her head, wondering if he caught the significance of what she said. 

Next to her, the doctor giving Spock his checkup suddenly raised his voice. "Captain, I need you to get back on the examination bed." 

From the corner of her eye, Saavik saw Spock had swung his legs off the bed, his hands clenching its edge as if he was going to launch himself... at Sumic. 

The commandant saw the same thing and his voice took on an edge of disdain. But he backed down. "By all means, Doctor McCoy must have a number of tests to perform. Let us see if this bioweapon exists." 

Saavik was pressed back, and as the Feinberger hovered over her abdomen, she didn't remember to complain about McCoy's cold hands. 

She and the other Vulcans were released with no word on the results of their testing. No word if McCoy discovered a pregnancy. The added stress tunneled into her nerves like vermin. 

Her bridge shift was long over. She went to the labs and lost herself in her research work. A Vulcan didn't worry. She couldn't control what the tests showed, she could only deal with the results when she got them. Therefore, logically, she gave full attention to her research, but it was difficult. It was one thing to say she shouldn't worry, and another to do it. 

After hours in the labs, her fatigue hit full force. Her vision swirled at times, refusing to focus, and her head buzzed, even the soft sounds from the other scientists making it ache. She felt the room pull away as if she was at the end of a tunnel and snap back to stark, harsh existence. 

The others were working well, and she didn't want anyone but T'Mes knowing the reason for her exhaustion. She excused herself to her office, hoping meditation would give her back some energy. 

But it didn't. Instead of calm, peaceful meditation, her presence swam, even gave off an echo of itself. Her eyes closed into sleep and her body pitched forward from where she kneeled, startling her upright, but not enough to wake up. She dozed again, her head drifting slowly down to her chest, until the door whispered open. Even exhaustion couldn't override her survival instincts. Her eyelids fluttered open, seeing Spock. She didn't even finish the muzzy thought that it was a good thing it was him, because she wouldn't be able to defend herself if she was attacked. 

This time, when her slumbering body leaned over, it was into his chest. He was crouching before her and caught her. As she had pillowed her head there the last few days when she slept, she unconsciously burrowed into the curve where his neck joined his shoulder. 

She didn't hear his remorseful sigh before gently shaking her awake. 

"Enough," he said. He overrode the protesting sounds that she thought were words. "You have been at this for twenty-four hours nonstop. This after days with little sleep. You are only endangering yourself." 

He said the one thing to always reach her. She stumbled to her feet, forcing herself to at least appear awake, and left with him. T'Mes was ordering the staff into a shift change and was leaving herself anyway. They had a good jump on their work and would be ready when they reached Warbase 5 tomorrow. 

Stron and Soluk were replaced twice already, the current guards following them being S'Lev and Sessak. How she ever got to her cabin, she didn't know, but she didn't protest when Spock scooped her up after the door closed behind them and carried her to her bed. Or when he disrobed her, carefully setting her dagger and phaser within reach. She was already asleep. She missed again his reluctance in leaving her. 


	5. 

****

Chapter 5

The _Enterprise_ arrived at Warbase 5 by the end of first shift the next day. It sailed into orbit in line with _Reliant_ and _Excelsior_, proudly displaying the scorch marks from the battle over Thieurrull. Spock wasn't one to go with such grand fanfare, but he knew Kirk did. And _Enterprise_ was not only the admiral's flagship, it was the ship receiving the Empress' attention for the Armageddon torpedo. Those battle scars would remain like medals until the ship left the Warbase.

Saavik glanced over towards the captain's chair from the science station. Let Kirk thump his chest in a fever of testosterone. She knew Spock didn't care as long as he didn't have to partake in it.

She read over the new orders from the Empress' staff. The monarch was having a banquet that night. The command officers from the Warbase, Kirk's fleet, and those others receiving their sovereign's favor were 'invited' to attend. Saavik's eyebrow twitched. The underlying meaning was they had better be there. After dinner, _Enterprise_ was to present the glories of the new Armageddon weapon along with speeches from the others. Then the Empress would address them all.

Saavik was already prepared for the presentation. Her staff had switched from research to creating an exhibition. Highlighted was the effectiveness of the torpedo that destroyed enemy worlds with a de-emphasis of the new world's instability. The new dilithium algorithm in the matrix, created by her and her people, allowed the Empire to harvest rich veins of the crystal in the days before the planet exploded, and was one of their deliberately chosen keypoint victories.

She frowned over the lack of guest names given. Other than those from her own ship, there was nothing for who else would be attending. As Chief of Spock's personal guard, she'd rather know whom she was facing. There were some enemies one should never be surprised with, but she couldn't demand what the Empress was not willing to give. At least, not demand it and live. What else did one expect from a ruler who was so vain, she ordered everyone to use her royal title only, and so dangerous, she tortured those who used her name?

Saavik spared a second to wonder if Sickbay was done with its test results. McCoy said they'd be ready before the first watch was over. He had said so when she contacted him after her morning meditation. A full night's sleep had worked wonders for her physical being, but she still had that disturbing echo when trying to reach meditation. Since the bioweapon affected Vulcan mental disciplines, she thought she had better report the condition. McCoy was checking with Sumic's people to see if they experienced it as well.

As if on cue, the communicator on her uniform sash vibrated silently. This was the personal system used only by Spock's guard. She checked it secretly. Stron wanted to see the captain and her immediately.

Second shift was coming on the bridge. She turned over her station to T'Mes and used the personnel change to address Spock quietly. "A moment of your time, Captain. You were asking about the security situation on the Warbase. I have found the information you requested." 

Innocuous enough if anyone overheard. She had twenty different code phrases for Spock's personal guard needing him, another thirty for his underground, and they changed weekly.

Spock nodded calmly and turned the bridge over to Chekov, explaining to his first officer that they would be beaming down for the Empress' banquet in a few hours. Their accompanying guards, one for her and one for Spock, followed silently. No one looked up at the sight of her guard. Spock's order that all Vulcans have additional security while the Romulan bioweapon threatened was covering for her well.

Once in the lift, Saavik activated a jammer, this one equipped to send phony dialogue to the Security pickups. Fathiyya was no longer on duty at the Security station, and her second had only the standard oath of loyalty recorded.

"Stron needs to see us," Saavik explained.

"Regarding?" Spock asked.

"He did not say."

When they reached Spock's quarters, their guards flanked the door as they entered. They found Soluk as well as Stron waiting for them. Like so many Vulcans, they managed to convey something was wrong without showing any emotion, and Saavik automatically braced herself.

Stron spoke without preamble. "T'Pau contacted Soluk and I. She has ordered that we discover if Lieutenant Saavik is pregnant. If she is not, we are to execute her immediately. The orders are to be carried out by the end of today."

Utter silence filled the room.

They knew it was coming, but it did not make it easier to hear. Saavik looked at Soluk and Stron, once more acutely aware that her comrades would be her slayers.

The knife's edge in Spock's voice was clear. "And the reason you give us this warning before carrying out your orders?"

"I answer first to you, sir, by personal oath and the alliance of our Houses. I answer to Saavik by Starfleet command," Stron said. "By those bonds, I will follow you before even T'Pau."

When Soluk nodded solemnly in agreement, Saavik swallowed hard. 

"This oath is not unexpected," Stron continued. He could not be more wrong. "We have already sworn to aid your underground in overthrowing the Empire. It is this same oath with which we serve you and Saavik now." 

Even Spock's formal reply of "Your service honors us" was not enough for what these men were giving them, and she saw he knew it.

But Stron was already moving past it. "Two more items of note. McCoy was about to send the test results to the bridge, but they said you had gone. He's sending them here."

To admit she was anything but calm was illogical, so Saavik went coolly to the computer with Spock and brought up Sickbay's report.

Every test showed negative. She was in perfect health. And not pregnant.

She closed her eyes, not wanting to appear less Vulcan in front of Stron and Soluk. Her back muscles tensed as they had yesterday, waiting for the death blow. Her comrades may not give it, but T'Pau would make sure it was delivered.

The weight of the heavy silence threatened to make her break. Spock finally spoke. "We have the rest of the day to find a solution."

__

Does he suggest I get pregnant in the next few hours when I could not during pon farr? We do not know if I am even capable of it, being a hybrid. "Not even," she replied, feeling an unnatural calm. "You must be at the banquet in 2.74 hours."

His voice broke, the words hoarse and, for the first time ever with her, harsh. He grabbed her arm and spun her around. "Damn you, do you want to die?"

She blinked. She had thought those same words about him only days ago. She was gratified for his hand still on her arm, no matter how hard it gripped her. She wanted to touch him in return, but wouldn't in front of the others. "No, I do not. But this is _T'Pau_, Spock. _No one _wins against her, even the Empress is afraid to try."

She couldn't bear the way he was looking _into_ her. If only they didn't have an audience. "Mr. Stron, you said two things. What is the other?"

After everything they already faced, this next thing was no surprise. "Sarek is here."

Spock's jaw clenched.

"He is on the Warbase as a guest of the Empress. However, T'Pau's message stressed he was in our vicinity."

The noose drew tighter around her throat. Soluk and Stron held out against T'Pau's orders, but Sarek would carry them out. And he was close by, giving them no extra time for planning an escape.

To know her killer was Spock's own father... She glanced up at him and felt a sudden stab. "No, Spock! You cannot wage war with your father, T'Pau would bring all of Vulcan down on you. Do you think I want that?"

His jaw worked as he kept control. He didn't answer her, but spoke to Stron. "How many in the guard know of T'Pau's orders?"

"All of them. They were each contacted with the message."

He looked down again at her. "How many can we trust with your safety?"

"All."

She hadn't answered. Soluk had, and both hers and Spock's eyes snapped on the man with his unexpected answer.

"We spoke with them. They gave you the same oath as us," Soluk said.

Stron added, "They ask only that, if possible, precautions are taken for their families' safety."

Spock agreed immediately, but Saavik felt the weight of more lives added to protect her.

"Your orders, sir?" Stron asked.

Spock finally let her go. He squared his shoulders. "We take control. I have failed to do so for too long. We have hours to discover a solution. My father will not strike until the end of the day. In the meantime, Archernar has to answer for his duplicity over the bioweapon. And I have an idea in mind where his punishment will help us."

Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. "How?"

"I will explain later after I have spoken with him."

She doubted the Romulan could help. "If you do not require me, I need to speak with the guard concerning your security at the banquet. If we may stay here?"

"Granted. I will contact you shortly." His voice dropped low and he almost reached out to take her chin. Almost. Stron and Soluk politely looked away. "We will find a way."

But she could see in his eyes that he didn't believe it. 

She asked her real questions the second he left. "Stron, the probability we have of saving my life from T'Pau?"

He was Vulcan. He answered truthfully, as he knew she wanted. "Point zero nine percent."

That agreed with her own calculations. She folded her hands behind her so he did not see them clench. "The probability T'Pau will kill Spock if he tries to save me?"

"If Sarek does not do it -- and I do not believe he will -- T'Pau has other agents. I calculate 99.89% that Spock will be killed too."

And that made her decision. She began to make preparations for the banquet. She went into painstaking detail on where to place the guards and who would beam down to the planet. She had them each repeat it until she was sure they knew everything. When they were done, the men exchange glances and straightened from Spock's desk.

"About T'Pau," Stron began.

She held up her hand. "We will wait until we hear from Spock. For now, give the rest of our people their orders. I will meet you in the transporter room for our beam down to the banquet."

They left and she waited a moment before leaving herself. Her guard, T'Ratka, followed her, saying nothing when she ducked into her quarters, but waited outside the door.

Saavik looked at her weapons collection displayed on her wall. It was unique. None of the arms were valuable or rare, but each had been used in an attempt to kill her. They symbolized her ability to survive.

So how did she end up here?

She drew her phaser, held it out before her.

It was much like the one held against her father's head years ago. She remembered it clearly. When she had awoken that day, her mother was gone from their corner of the barracks. She had run around the camp looking for her and found her at the main gates. Two Vulcan guards had stood in the opened barriers, one a step back and to the right of the other. The latter was the one her mother had cursed, and because the curses were the same ones her mother always used against her absent Vulcan father, Saavik had identified who this man was.

Her father. She was ordered to never use his name; she didn't even know it until the day she obtained her Imperial citizenship and saw it on her records. Even then, she could not claim it for her own.

Or her mother's name.

She had stood stock still, staring at him, as her mother had continued to rant. Saavik had scuttled a little closer, as always making no noise, but he had suddenly seen her. His expression hadn't change; he only looked back at her.

The other Vulcan, the one behind her father, had sharply interrupted and jabbed a finger at her mother, asking her father if the accusations were true. Saavik hadn't known what the accusations were; she hadn't paid attention to anything once she had caught sight of _him_.

He had given a minute nod of his head, but never looked away from her. She had sworn he recognized her even though she was some distance from her mother. And she had sworn, despite her mother's later objections, that he had accepted her.

That was when the other Vulcan had put a phaser to his skull, and her father, accepting his responsibility, took the weapon and shot it into his head.

Saavik squeezed her eyes shut hard, forcing the memory away. She had no choice, any more than her father had back then. If she didn't do this, T'Pau would kill Spock.

She eased the pressure on her eyes, but she kept them closed. She drew three long, deep breaths and raised the phaser to her head.

Logic warred with survival instincts. Her hand acted as if it did not answer to her mind and refused to pull the trigger. For a long agonizing moment, the inner battle was fought until she yanked the phaser down, her rebellious hand dropping the phaser to the floor.

She had fought her whole life against death. She could not willingly give herself to it. Not by her own hand.

She snarled at herself. She was dead anyway, and she could not drag Spock into it with her! 

But she could not pick up the phaser.

Or any of the daggers, disrupters, phasers, or swords on the wall. She placed her hands flat into the collection and leaned her weight on her arms, her head dropping between them.

__

Better I die by my own hand than let T'Pau's agents slay me. She tried to convince herself of it. Her mind knew it was true, but her heart--

The computer signaled for her attention, and she moved against the heaviness of her head to look over her arm. Kirk was already at the banquet with Sulu and Terrell. Typical. Eager to impress the Empress with an early arrival. And the admiral was complaining about the Romulan prisoners still on board the _Enterprise_.

The Romulans...

... The one on Thieurrull who had spoken before the riot: _One last battle before the grave._

Spock hadn't heard him, but she had. Heard also Commander Alaka'i's battlecry: _Glory!_

It was what her mother had said as she faced the Vulcan guards come to finally kill her for 'seducing' a Vulcan male. It was what the Romulan prisoners had cried as they began the riot that caused Saavik to first meet Spock, what the prisoners yelled at this last riot. She could remember every word of all the cries, mantras used to stir the soul for the fight ahead:

__

For Honor. Glory.

One last fight. One last battle to the grave.

Take this chance to leave behind a warrior's mark on your name.

I will endure my enemies no longer. I die on my own terms.

She remembered their faces-- her mother, the prisoners of both riots -- and their words echoed in her mind.

She pushed off from the wall, and acknowledged Kirk's signal with the prearranged plans for Spock's arrival and the prisoner transfer.

Quietly, she scooped up the phaser as she walked out. T'Ratka immediately fell into step, but Saavik could easily get rid of her later. She led the way to the transporter station.

Once in the brig, Spock ordered Security to leave he and Archernar alone. They and his personal guard backed off, easily at hand if the need arose, but out of earshot.

"You played a dangerous game, Archernar."

The Romulan struggled to a seating position on the bench. He was still jailed in the same interrogation room as yesterday. "You sound displeased, Cousin. Why?"

"No one has shown any signs of a bioweapon."

The Romulan frown and looked sincerely confused. "That makes no sense. I know it worked."

"Maybe your fellow prisoners lied to you. Maybe you misunderstood their plan, but no one splashed by that liquid is in anything but good health."

"That can't be!" Spock admitted if the man was acting, he was good at it. "I tell you I know it worked. And do you think I'd come to you with lies? I know better than that!"

"Perhaps. It does not matter to me. You have nothing to bargain with and I have my orders. You and the others are to be transported to the Warbase we orbit. The Empress herself wishes to witness the executions. Good luck to you in whatever afterlife you believe in."

As he expected, Archernar called to him before he reached the Security field. "Wait!"

He looked back and got a surprise. The Romulan's hands were balled into fists and his handsome features twisted into a sneer. "I get it. I am not the one lying here, you are. You found out what the weapon does and Vulcan forbid you should speak of it. Is it that you are too embarrassed, _Cousin_, or that you decry so much that we are able to bring about your great shame?"

Spock raised an eyebrow, but kept his puzzlement to himself.

"Those people were affected days ago, weren't they? And you cleverly didn't test them until yesterday when they were perfectly normal. Why go through such extreme measures? Who do you have to justify yourself to? Not me, not a prisoner."

Spock stayed silent. It was working for him so far.

Archernar's eyes narrowed, working on the plot as he saw it. "The Empress is here? Why? Why all the interest in us?"

__

Because of the Armageddon torpedo. She wants to see the people from the world it destroyed. Not that you know anything about it.

The Romulan stepped quickly across the small room. Spock held out a hand, signaling him to stop, as his other hand dropped to his phaser. Archernar halted, but didn't back off.

"Well, you blew it, Cousin. I have proof that you didn't erase. Two of those Vulcans were down here dragging out our women, so I'm guessing their bondmates weren't around when pon farr hit."

__

Pon farr!

"Look at you," Archernar jeered. "You wince at the words! Should I call it the Fires, or the Time of Mating, or one of multiple euphemisms you people have?"

__

I wasn't the catalyst for Saavik's pon farr. The bioweapon created it.

And McCoy... I asked him first if he was coordinating the results from the tests for all the affected people, but then asked if he found anything so far about Saavik. Only he did not know I only asked about her. The higher hormonal levels, the fatigue... all of them had it.

Spock spoke hesitantly as his mind whirred with implications. "You say two Romulan women were taken from here by Vulcan males? You saw this as evidence of the bioweapon working?"

Archernar's lips drew back from his teeth. "Well, damn me for giving you an early chance to kill them. But I warn you, Spock--"

"Quiet!" Spock thundered. And Archernar reluctantly stilled. 

Spock was deadly calm. "You are going to be of great value to me."

Archernar turned his head to the side, and the calculating gleam came back as he took in the Spock's intensity. "How?"

At that same time on the Warbase, Saavik was explaining to T'Ratka, "I want to ensure the floorplans we were given are correct. Take this," she held out a tricorder, "and compare this level with the map. Check everything: entrances, staircases, the rooms that branch off from here. I am going to examine the banquet room."

T'Ratka protested, "I am supposed to guard you."

"Do not be concerned. I sent for Soluk. He waits for me in the main room." Saavik forced a wry note. "I believe I can get from here to there safely."

T'Ratka acknowledged the order and moved off.

Saavik went into a small changing room and ordered a uniform jacket and undertunic from the replicator. After a pause, she ordered a captain's insignia. Her basic plan was to make Kirk so angry, he shot her. This was a good start. And at least she'd die warm.

As much as Kirk already wanted to kill her, she wanted to kill him. But Spock said he needed the man alive, so alive he stayed. A pity. But once Kirk murdered her, Spock may be able to use that to his advantage. Her death would have meaning.

She stood in the entrance for the hall and gave credit to the Warbase staff. It couldn't have been easy to create this from whatever cargo bay or gymnasium the room was previously. The utilitarian metal walls were covered with white bunting, valences of rose material draped over them. Dark carpeting covered the floor setting off the white tablecloths and walls. Someone even produced chandeliers. On Saavik's right hand side and high in the air was a balcony where the Empress would look down on her people and eventually address them.

More than Kirk came early. A full party was in swing, the pounding music assaulting her ears. It figured the admiral had told Spock not to arrive until later.

She found him in the crowd at a table up front and center, directly beneath the Empress' dais. He wore a gold trimmed, maroon V-necked tunic, no sleeves, with enough medals to catch the light and blind the people sitting around him. _He preens for the Empress_.

Unfortunately, she admitted the years of fighting in the Empire had kept his body lean and hard, but the way he puffed his chest out for some woman sitting next to him sickened Saavik.

She walked in at a normal pace. She expertly took in the room, long experience identifying potential targets and threats.

Sulu, Uhura, and their guard were at a table behind Kirk. They laughed over something with a Trill male who she identified from his insignia and distinctive markings as Torias Dax, the Warbase's commander.

Standing behind Kirk was Richichi, wearing the same brief style tunic but with his phaser tucked into the center of his waistband in some cocky attitude. Idiotic.

At the other end of Kirk's round table was a man she identified as Admiral Cartwright. He was leaning back in his chair, looking across the table but not speaking with Kirk at the moment.

Standing a few paces away was--

__

Damnation. Sarek.

She may not have to worry about getting herself killed.

Standing between Sarek and Cartwright was a young, Vulcan woman in Starfleet uniform. With the way the admiral called her back and placed a possessive hand on her hip, Saavik guessed this was Valeris.

Kirk saw her over the shoulder of the woman he was talking to, and right away, he snarled at her being out of the bolero top. He said something she couldn't hear at this distance, but Sulu must have because he grabbed Uhura and pointed, that foul smile laughing at her.

Saavik went through the other ways she could get Kirk to do what she wanted. She could attack Richichi, show him the foils of keeping his phaser where he had it. If she killed Kirk's Chief Guard, especially when he still thought she had murdered Johnson, the admiral would have his other guards slaughter her immediately.

She kept the same deliberate pace, holding her arms out slightly so he could see she didn't plan reaching for her weapons. His expression changed, undoubtedly wondering what she was doing.

She drew close enough to pick out sounds from their table, but what made her eyes flick in Cartwright's direction was not something he said, but the intent stare he gave Kirk.

No, not Kirk. _Behind _him. Richichi.

The Chief Guard kept dropping back behind Kirk's shoulders. It finally aggravated the admiral enough that he turned and snapped at his Chief, and Richichi moved back to the usual place. Until Kirk started staring at her again, and Richichi dropped back again.

She was focused on Kirk and her plan to die, but her mind could not be shut off and snippets from the past swirled back.

__

Richichi served with Cartwright. He became Chief Guard when persons unknown murdered Johnson.

__

Admirals were worried about where they'd be soon if Kirk kept growing in popularity.

Her eyes flicked back to Cartwright. The man kept his eyes on Richichi, but he leaned towards Valeris, nothing more. Just _aware_ of her. She was talking again with Sarek.

__

Only Sarek still outlasts Cartwright with the Empress' patronage. Kyle's words.

And Sulu smirking: _Better be careful, Spock. You may not be Sarek's heir much longer_.

Uhura digging in, trying to find a sore spot: _Valeris was looking for Spock while she was here._

And she heard Cartwright ask Kirk when Spock was beaming down. Picked up the scent of his sweat through a Vulcan woman's extra sensitive sense of smell. Not sweat from heat or exertion -- nervous perspiration.

She checked Richichi again, the telltales of his sweating as he kept behind Kirk wafting towards her.

Something about Valeris made Saavik's eyes dart back. The woman was suddenly still, but carefully keeping a normal face towards Sarek as she folded her arms behind her. She fumbled with something that suddenly dropped out of her sleeve; it fell in her palm and she slid it back in place. A hypo.

__

Damn it again.

Cartwright was planning to wipe out all his enemies tonight. Kirk with his meteor rise in power, the Empress' other favorite, Sarek, and Spock, his heir. And he'd present their carcasses to his monarch who would simper that he battled for her.

Saavik hastily revised her plan, looking for options. She calculated the seconds she'd have after her first move. She was only steps away from Kirk and she _must_ know what she was going to do.

At least, both the Romulan and Vulcan in her were at peace. She'd die in an honorable battle, one that saved Spock. It would save Kirk too -- and Sarek, but so be it.

As soon as she drew near the table, she knew what came next.

"Richichi," Kirk ordered, "frisk her."

She saw the disappointment in his face that he couldn't do it himself, but he wouldn't take the chance of getting too close so she'd stick a dagger in his belly. But she didn't plan to do any such thing.

Richichi stripped off her phaser, knife, and agonizer. He then started searching her from the tip of her head, even shoving his fingers into her hair looking for weapons clipped in her dark mane or gummed to her scalp.

Sarek was looking in her direction, but the captain's insignia threw him off at first. It took a moment before she saw his expression change.

Recognition.

Richichi opened her jacket, searched the collar and her neck, and then spread down. Valeris got a mean look in her eye as she watched. When his hands moved under her shirt for her chest, Saavik struck.

She grabbed his phaser without taking it from his waistband and fired it. The blast caught him full in the groin. As he screamed, she ducked behind him for cover, what little she could get as he doubled over, and pulled her phaser off his sash, giving her two.

The seconds she had were winding down. Kirk moved for his phaser thinking she was coming for him next. She wasn't. Simultaneously, she fired at Cartwright and Valeris, cleanly killing them.

One second more. She fired into Cartwright's guards as they reached for their weapons. For her? Or for Kirk or Sarek? It didn't matter; she couldn't take the chance they'd carry out their plan against Spock.

It was the last move she got.

Kirk's guards were on her, the first blow from a phaser butt against her head. She fell under the sea of bodies. The strikes rained on her and she waited for one of her attackers to shoot her.

They didn't. 

Instinctively, she curled around herself, but the boots and fists opened her up so they could reach her head and torso. Blow after blow hammered into her and she did nothing to stop them until, without warning, the killing madness rose up. 

She struggled up, actually lifting the weight of the people on her, and striking everyone within reach, hearing with satisfaction their grunts and cries. She wasn't completely on her feet when someone kicked her hard in the abdomen and the lightening strike of agony crippled her. Her enemies swarmed over her, thrashing even harder now, and the madness died out leaving her completely weak.

Someone grabbed her arms, yanking them out flat. Knowing what was coming, she jerked them back, but a boot heel ground down, breaking the bones.

__

No! Not my hands!

A Vulcan used their hands for funneling all their mental energy. Now hers... but what did it matter with her death ahead.

She tried to pull within her mind, to use the Vulcan pain disciplines to leave her body and its hurting behind, but with the drain from the madness, reaching the required mental state was difficult. She didn't want to scream out like a weakling, but she would soon if she couldn't retreat inside her head.

Someone slammed an agonizer on her and left it on, the searing pain frying her nervous system, and she did scream then, and it felt raw and tore at her throat.

She reached again to mentally withdraw, feeling like she crawled within herself towards some sanctuary. She thought she almost made it when the Vulcan inside her whispered:

__

My katra will be lost.

That was no surprise, but it made her wince.

And the Romulan whispered:

__

I was wrong. I will die like my mother, not my father.

She moaned and hoped no one heard her.

She hardly felt the blows now and ahead of her was a beacon. She peered into it and saw the memory of Spock in their shelter on Thieurrull. He was beckoning to her, and she heard her voice from then tease him in return.

She stretched out towards the memory. If she could reach it, no one could hurt her anymore. She was almost there... if she could just cut herself off from the remaining physical pain... just reach him... his hand was extended towards her... she called to him, but he was listening to a Saavik in memory, not her... if she could just... crawl... further...

It helped that the next blow rendered her unconscious.

Archernar found he had stopped breathing. "Are you telling me Saavik was in pon farr and I wasn't around?" He shook his head sadly. "Damn! The infuriating difference a few days make."

Spock was beyond the point where he could take anymore. "Mr. Archernar. You will focus on what I say and what I tell you to do."

"My apologies, Cousin. But why all the concern now? She is well and..." His eyes widened and then he shook his finger at Spock reprovingly. "Tsk, tsk, friend Spock, you _did_ lie to me. You said she was not yours, and yet you...." His smile held decidedly unfriendly teeth in it. "Regretting something, Cousin?"

Spock's chest tightened. "The _point_ is, it has created a problem. I do not expect you to know this, however--"

"I don't need your explanation, I know your Vulcan law." Archernar spat the last as if it were a curse. "Why do you think I damned myself for admitting two of our women were taken by your men? You're telling me Saavik will be executed."

Obviously, he hadn't given this man enough credit. "I am."

Archernar's eyes glittered with an anger that surprised him. And stirred deep jealously. "What do you want from me?"

"Your testimony. I plan to formally protest the execution by saying Saavik does not fall under the law."

Archernar blinked. "She doesn't?"

Spock forced patience and explained. Archernar listened attentively and when the Vulcan was done, he nodded slowly. "Logical. I mean that sincerely so take it that way. Very logical. But will they listen?"

Spock's voice grew cold. "I will make them listen." The statement hung in the air before he continued. "Now, I want to ask you a question. How large is this 'carved niche' of yours?"

Archernar started to answer automatically, but stopped as it sunk in. He stared suspiciously at Spock, his lips pursed, "Why are you asking me that?"

"If I fail, I want you to take Saavik behind the Romulan border."

Archernar's jaw actually dropped and he blinked stupidly. "You want Saavik to go with me?"

Spock felt his heart twinge. "Want has little to do with it. Can you ensure her future? You need not be concerned about finances. Saavik has been part of many profitable missions. And I will settle a lump sum with you."

Archernar laughed. "Good! I'll use it to buy all the ropes I'll need to tie her up! Are you _insane_?! She'll kill me!"

Spock could not help but feel a warmth at the thought, but he doubted the Romulan would understand why. "We are not going to give her that choice."

"Of course. You are insane." He eyed Spock. "You give her up so easily -- perhaps I was wrong and she is not your woman after all?"

Spock's lips whitened.

The Romulan smiled. "I thought so. And what am I supposed to do with her? Sit around while she pines for you? You know how long our lifespans are. That's no way to spend a couple centuries." He rubbed his chin with some of his old mischief. "Of course, even though her heart and mind are with you, her _body _will be with me, and sooner or later that pon farr cycle is going to come around again..."

Spock felt the old familiar rise in temper that had plagued him as a child, but that he had learned to harness, making it cold and controlled. He targeted Archernar with it. "Do not push me. Have we a deal?"

The Romulan obviously recognized when not to go further. "You must have a plan to get me near enough to her in case I have to smuggle her away, so I won't waste time with that. Not when we have yet to speak about price."

Spock gave him a dark look. "I said I would provide it."

"For boarding her, feeding her, providing her with the lifestyle she deserves: rich clothes, fine jewelry, servants at her beck and call. _My_ price is for my agreement."

"I will let you live. What more is there?"

Archernar sighed at his density. "You are most assuredly not a businessman, friend Spock. You _have_ to let me live. You need my testimony and my ability to slip Vulcan's number one criminal across the border. Without me, you're lost. That must be worth... let's say, the release of every Romulan on board your ship."

Spock raised the inevitable eyebrow. "You cannot convince me that you think so altruistically."

Archernar's grin mocked the idea. "Good for you. I'm thinking of the years I will make them pay for their salvation." His grin faded to something dark. "And perhaps, I am patriotic enough not to want them slain by your Empress."

Spock folded his arms across his chest. "Releasing enemies is frowned upon in the Empire."

The Romulan shrugged. "Mine too. I don't care, it's your problem. And my price will be paid _before_ I do anything. Do we have a deal?"

__

Why is nothing ever simple? But Saavik rose in his mind: the sense of her next to him, facing all his dangers first; her eyes alight with a new discovery found at the science station or in the labs; those days on Thieurrull. Spock gritted his teeth. He would find a way. For her. "We do."

Archernar held out a hand to shake and Spock eyed it coolly. "Sorry," the Romulan said and grinned. "I know you're half-human so..." He shrugged. Slowly, he sobered and, after a moment's hesitation, placed his hand instead on Spock's shoulder. "If it comes down to it, I will keep her safe."

__

That is not what bothers me. "See that you do," he warned, "or I will find you."

The Romulan broke the moment with his, by now, infamous smirk. "It's not you I'm worried about, it's her."

"Sir?"

He looked over his shoulder to the Security man. "Yes?"

"You're wanted on the comm, sir."

He exited the interrogation room and stabbed the button on the comm panel. "Spock here."

Archernar leaned arrogantly on the door jam, keeping just clear of the Security field. "Does your Empress need a napkin now?" he mocked.

But Stron's voice on the other end of the line killed Spock's retort instantly. "Captain! I was just contacted by Ensign T'Ratka. Lieutenant Saavik is down."

And all the blood drained from Spock's face.


	6. 

**Chapter 6**

Saavik felt Spock breathe.

She couldn't see him. In her sleep, she had flipped onto her stomach and Spock half-lay on her back, using her as both a pillow for his head and a mattress for his upper body. His weight was what eventually woke her.

But she heard his deep, even breaths and felt the warm air from them caress across her shoulder. They meant Spock was alive and that he was with her.

She lay completely still, not shifting even the smallest amount, in fear it'd wake him. It was only the second time he had slept since the Fires began, and the first time was only for fifteen minutes or so before his pon farr woke him. So far, she thought he had slept for twenty-five minutes this time, but for some reason she didn't understand, her time sense was muddled. It made no sense. Spock was in pon farr, not her.

She lay happily motionless -- yes, happily; she was free to feel happy at this time, in this place -- enjoying the heavy weight, the tickling stroke of his beard as his head ever so slightly moved as he breathed, and the warm exhalations that stroked her skin.

"They tell me you can hear me."

Startled, she snapped her senses outward. Kirk! How did he find them here?

"They say you're in that -- I don't know, healing trance. Not that it really can help that much. You're a mess."

__

Healing trance? Confusion made the darkness shift uneasily about her. _That makes no sense._

Spock's weight eased on her back and she thought him awake. She grabbed for her weapons even as she reached for him.

But he wasn't there. He was fading away, the image of his long body stretched alongside hers in sleep becoming ethereal, and then slowly disappearing like a mirage. She anxiously tried to wrap her arms around him, keep him with her, but he was gone.

And not only him: their bed on its platform, the computers and Spock's few personal belongings, the walls of their sheltering dwelling here on Thieurrull; it all dimmed to a black void.

"Quite frankly, the betting pool has you dying in at most a day."

She whirled, casting about in the dark for the arrogant smile that plagued her so often. She could feel his mockery and his triumph. She clenched her teeth. _Liar!_ she screamed into the void._ I am well! Spock is well! I--_

It suddenly came back: Warbase 5 -- Cartwright, Richichi, and Valeris. Kirk's guards, faded visions through a green bloody haze of Sulu and Uhura with them, and the blows storming down.

Shock made her grow cold.

__

I'm dying.

"The only reason you're alive is I ordered everyone to stop killing you. I even let that Vulcan bitch, T'Ratka, contact the rest of Spock's people. You'd be dead otherwise. So in case you think I owe you, the debt's repaid."

__

Only in your mind. You cannot hear me can you?

"And I was nice enough to get Cartwright's and Valeris' insignia pins for you. You can add them to your collection if you live to do it. You don't get Richichi's because I was the one who actually killed him. Only fair, he was going to kill me. You did get that first shot on him though, and I got to tell you, I still laugh whenever I think about it."

Saavik felt a terrible rage beginning to fill her. _What do you want from me?_

"I came to thank you. The Empress was quite upset at first, one of her favorites dead and you bleeding all over the new carpet, but I stepped up and let her know a conspiracy was thwarted. Her now late, great Cartwright planned a coupe and she'd have lost more than one of her Chosen ones if he had succeeded. And since I was the one to bring her the news, guess who's getting the credit?" 

She felt bile rise up in her mouth. He was laughing at her.

"So not only am I moving up because Cartwright's dead, but the Empress loves me more than ever. And I have you to thank for it."

__

You twisted bastard!

"I'm going now, let you finish dying. Try not to take too long doing it. I bet in the pool that you'd only last another couple hours."

__

I should take you with me!

She slashed out, stabbing out for some sense, some link with the physical again, and slammed into a tidal wave of pain. Instinctively, she recoiled in agony and retreated, hovering in shock just outside of it.

__

I am dying. Alone.

Being trapped heightened her despondency. The void resonated the silence surrounding her, snaring her somewhere between mind and body.

"Saavik..." The deep voice cut in, a light in her darkness.

__

SPOCK! She snatched at the sudden surge of hope desperately, probing the darkness for the familiar lean form.

"...Why?"

He sounded exhausted, broken, drained. She flinched at his voice, feeling his Vulcan discipline and what was held behind it. She twisted about, trying in vain to find him as she might search for him in the dark.

__

Spock, tell me you can hear me.

And then she could feel his presence, feel the mental connection, so much different than Kirk talking into her dying ear. It was not the closeness of full meld. It seemed her _katra _was in flux -- not connected to her body, not connected to her mind. Spock was at a distance. She felt him more fully in her memory a short time ago.

She wanted to wrap herself in Spock's closeness, have him ease her isolation, and she wanted to hear him say he could hear her.

"I can. Answer me. Tell me why you thought this was necessary." His words gained more strength and turned cold.

No, not cold. Betrayed. And it burned her.

__

Spock... We knew I had to do this. At least... I can say goodbye.

He ignored those last words. "I told you I would have a solution. Why did you doubt me?"

She drew back from the accusation. _I did not. If you believe anything, be assured I never lost faith in you--- but my death sentence was on your head._

"You speak of faith. Yet you exhibited none. I only needed a few hours more."

Saavik felt a sickening bitterness well up. _I did not know. I thought--_

"Saavik, the Romulan bioweapon induces pon farr in Vulcans."

The news took her off guard, but she did not see how it could help them.

"I discovered this information shortly before your... suicide mission. I can use it as an argument to overthrow your execution. If it does not work, my alternative plan will. I would have told you." His breath caught. "You did not give me the chance."

She wondered if he could sense her ache. _I did not do this to hurt you_.

"Your logic was faulty if you believed your death would not hurt me."

It hung like a wraith between them, tormenting her with both pain and a terrible pleasure. _Spock... I will not live much longer. This is my only time to say -- what must be said._

Even in this odd, trapped state, she felt his instant rejection of losing her. "Do not yield, Saavik! I will make certain you are given medical care. This battle is not over."

__

Spock--

An unknown voice filtered in. She was not sure if she heard it through her ears or Spock's. Whichever way, she barely made out the words.

"... Perforated lung... broken -- compounded by... severe loss of blood... the fetus--"

The voice cut out like a comm channel snapped off. Spock's replaced it hurriedly.

"Saavik, remember, do not yield. Decide nothing until I can contact you again."

But she was barely listening, her whole being was seized over that last word: fetus. _ Spock, did he say--!_

"Have faith."

__

Spock, wait! That echo I heard whenever I meditated in the past two days---

Spock?

...Spock?

The void seemed to swallow her up, roaring white noise through her like pain. But she did not notice. Phantom hands reached instinctively towards where physically her belly would be and she could not suppress the tremor that ran through her.

Am I pregnant after all?

Spock hastily removed his hand from Saavik's temples. He hoped he had done so in time before she had heard what the medtech just announced so casually. He was lucky the tech had been absorbed in the padd in his hands and hadn't noticed him touching her at all. As much as it wasn't true, he couldn't be seen as anything but Saavik's commanding officer.

"Repeat that last item," he ordered.

The tech did so, bored. "Due to the extensive injuries, Lieutenant Saavik miscarried the fetus. Apparently she was pregnant. We don't have the father's name in our records, but somebody should tell him he doesn't have to worry anymore about her or the bastard she carried."

Spock dealt with the bombshell silently, giving no outward sign of what those words cost him while the man droned on with the exact details causing the miscarriage.

__

Pregnant, she was pregnant. The fact they had created a child together couldn't really be absorbed before that one word – _was_ pregnant – twisted the exultant news into bitter mourning.

She had been pregnant and they hadn't known it. That news would have kept both her and the child alive, but their ignorance of it caused her to sacrifice herself for him and in the process, their child died.

He didn't look down at Saavik's unconscious body, especially not the bloodied legs with her uniform crusted to her body, not now when he knew more about that blood. Nor did he look at her abdomen where heavy boots had kicked her, shattering so many delicate things within.

Mere hours ago, they had received Saavik's test results saying her health was normal. McCoy made no note of her pregnancy, and there was no way he could have missed it.

That caused the jagged edge in Spock's voice even as he played at ignorance. "The tests run on the lieutenant yesterday. Did they discover the pregnancy?"

The tech scrolled through screens of data. "Yes, sir. I have the report right here."

Spock accepted the offered padd and quickly scanned the report. It looked exactly like the one sent to him with one very prominent difference. _This_ one showed Saavik with child.

McCoy had deleted that before sending the test results to Spock. But why?

If McCoy knew about the pregnancy, then Kirk must know too. And that was why the doctor held back the information. He had chosen a side in the war. It was going to cost him. Permanently.

The effort to keep his disciplines and controls was wrenching, but he was Vulcan and in command of this ship. And he had many battles ahead of him. "The prognosis for Lieutenant Saavik's recovery?"

The medtech frowned, confused. "No prognosis. She won't recover. We've been ordered to disconnect her life support and give no treatments at all."

Spock glowered causing the medtech, he noticed with pleasure, to squirm in his uniform. "Who gave those orders?"

The tech looked like he wanted to swallow his tongue. "Sarek of Vulcan, sir."

So, the first battle. "You will keep the life support active and maintain Saavik's stability. Mr. Soluk!" The Vulcan snapped to attention as if he wasn't already ramrod straight. "You will want to stand guard here. Allow _no one_ to shut down the life support systems. If someone attempts to do so, kill them. I will be sending a doctor here you can trust."

Soluk was stopped from answering by T'Ratka's asking, "Sir? Permission to take this guard duty."

She was feeling dishonor for leaving Saavik's side earlier. Spock nodded, but said, "In addition to Mr. Soluk, not in replacement. He may need the backup."

Spock noticed the medtech darting covert glances from Soluk to Saavik and back down to the pregnancy report. He recalled his words _'You will want to stand guard here' _and realized the tech was misled on the unknown father's identity.

He spared a second to stare down at Saavik's bruised features. Lacerations crisscrossed her face, her eyelids so swollen, they were green and blackened globes attached under her eyebrows. The broken, bloodied nose and split mouth, the smashed bones underneath the cheeks: she was unrecognizable.

And yet, he longed to lay down his head and burden on the small space of bed next to her, take her ruined hand and hold it gently. Tell her of their lost child so they may lose themselves in finding peace together. But he could not afford that luxury.

He gathered his strength and the chips he held against his enemies to him. "Mr. Stron, with me."

Originally, while with Archernar, his plan was to seek out Sumic to arrange the prisoner exchange, but a fleeting look at the indicators above Saavik's head told him he had little time to reach medical attention for her. He sought out his father.

Sarek must be on board if he gave those orders to the medical staff; at least, Spock thought so. He queried the computer and found his father had been trying to reach him for some time. Sarek was last reported in a small observation room on the officer's deck and it was there that Spock found him.

At the sound of the door, the elder Vulcan turned quietly from the viewport, his hands folded in front of him. He nodded as if his son's arrival was expected which Spock knew it was.

He spoke immediately, knowing what he was about to say – if not his appearance here – was a surprise. "Father, you have a Vulcan healer amongst your staff."

Eyebrows raised at the unanticipated statement, Sarek paused before answering. "Yes. As you know, it easier to trust my life and health to a healer's hands if I know him. Sagar has always served me well."

Spock inclined his head once. "Good. We are fortunate such an expert is still with you. He is much needed in Sickbay and should report there immediately. I will tell him so." He deliberately turned to leave as if the matter was at an end.

"Spock!"

He stopped and raised one eyebrow in question.

"Why do you require Sagar's services?"

He spoke as if the answer was obvious. "For Saavik, of course." And then before Sarek could answer, "Surely our House still pays its debts to one who has saved the lives of the Head of House and his heir. Have we changed our code of honor, Father? I was not informed if we have."

Sarek sighed, then talked very much like a parent gently handling a stubborn child. "Spock, the execution order was given. I know you were informed of _that_. This is not the manner I'd prefer to see it carried out, but the order is there."

None of this shook Spock. He had arranged for this exact argument with his own words. "Father, I am prepared to ask for a stay of execution on the grounds the law does not apply to Saavik."

"You cannot possibly prove it."

"You are incorrect, sir. I very much can. I would have done so by now if this situation had not interrupted me. It is ironic that I owe Admiral Kirk the debt of stopping the assault on Saavik so I may move forward with this tribunal. I will now have Sagar make sure she lives to see it, if you will be so kind as to request T'Pau join us for the hearing."

Sarek was growing impatient. His tone lost its gentleness and grew firm with his willful child. "First, Kirk has apologized for his interference."

__

I am sure he has.

"He explained he only halted Saavik's execution because he thought she was under orders to take action against Cartwright. I have made clear Vulcan's jurisdiction in this matter."

__

Kirk always lied well.

The observation deck was kept shadowy so no brightness may impede the view. Spock moved forward into a shaft of dim light so Sarek may see his eyes. "Father, Kirk's guards killed your grandchild."

Sarek wasn't fast enough to stop the small, strangled noise from escaping. It came from deep in his chest as if his heart was located where a human's was and spoke out with its own voice.

"_My_ heir, Father, my child whose existence allowed me the time to make my argument. Saavik saved your life and mine, and that action has destroyed the unborn infant. Despite his or her death, I _will_ make my argument at the tribunal to overthrow the execution order. You will repay your debt to Saavik and respect the death of your grandchild by giving Sagar's aid and by getting T'Pau to hear me."

He knew how the words hit his father and didn't care. He never intended to directly challenge Sarek, not in all his plans to overthrow the Empire, but now that the battle was brought to him, he would not shrink from it. He must have Sagar.

He did not know how to interpret what was hidden behind Sarek's expression. He waited brittle but determined for a response.

"My son," Sarek finally spoke. "I grieve with thee."

Spock suddenly couldn't take in air. His father's unforeseen sympathy arrested him.

"Go to Sagar. I will contact T'Pau. We will arrange a direct commlink when you are ready to make your argument."

Spock didn't know what to say. "I-" 

He spun on his heel and marched from the room. He could not show anything that might weaken his position or stance yet, and Sarek had just done something that made Spock see his father _as_ his father again. If even just a small bit. Once more, everything changed again for the both of them and he did not know where it would take them.

Fortunately, the next confrontation was with Sumic and much easier to handle. As soon as Sagar was safely deposited in Sickbay, clucking the back of his tongue against the roof of his mouth at the sight of what he was expected to accomplish, Spock sought out Thieurrull's former commandant.

The man's mouth parted as Spock told him what he was to do. For a Vulcan, it expressed extreme astonishment. He rapidly regained his calm. "Would you repeat your last statement, Captain?"

Spock just as calmly expounded on his announcement, ignoring both the commandant's and Stron's reactions. Stron, at least, reacted only with surprise instead of disdain. "You are to arrange a prisoner exchange with the Romulan Empire for all their people we currently hold in the brig."

Sumic nodded as if given testimony to a long held theory. "Son of Sarek, you have lost all hold on reality."

Spock raised an eyebrow, still unruffled. "Son of Systek, you have once more forgotten your place. I am captain of this ship and in command of everything it does. At the moment, that includes a prisoner exchange."

Raising his chin to stare haughtily, Sumic's voice conveyed his derision. "Insist on this and I will take the matter to the Empress. Need I remind you she is readily accessible?"

"Then I will take the matter of the Romulans developing a bioweapon under your command. Are you readily accessible for the blame?"

Sumic's eyes grew wide, another extreme reaction, and his words faltered a moment before regaining their sneer. "No doubt you took this to Sarek – and through him T'Pau as well. He is most likely speaking with the Empress now."

Stron spoke up quietly. "Sarek requested quarters aboard _Enterprise_ as soon as we obtained orbit around the Warbase. He has not spoken with the Empress."

Spock did not know any of this until this moment. _My father continues to surprise me._

The depth of Stron's scorn grew. "Perhaps his closeness to the Empress has been overstated."

__

Or perhaps, Spock thought, _I was wrong to listen to rumors about the nature of his relationship with her. He does not seek the Empress' bed._ He remembered Saavik's execution order and darkly changed his assessment. _Or perhaps he sought to be close at hand to see the order carried out_.

"It has no bearing on your situation, Sumic." He kept the upper hand firmly. "You are responsible for your prisoners developing a lethal weapon against our people. You will see to this exchange or your lack of responsibility will be brought to our Empress."

The commandant clearly struggled to accept what he did not want to. Spock knew he was making an enemy in Sumic, but the man was not so powerful or of such connections to be of any threat.

"How," Sumic asked, strain evident, "do you propose I achieve this when the prisoners have been ordered publicly executed?"

__

If I knew how, I would have arranged the prisoner exchange myself instead of delegating it to you. "That, as they say, is your problem, Sumic."

Arranging for Archernar to be in place lest he need escape with Saavik was Spock's problem. He would organize the solution with Stron the next moment they were alone. It must not happen to early or Sumic would notice the Romulan missing. Wait too late and Archernar would be exchanged with the other Romulans. But Spock had an idea.

And repressed the idea of Saavik living with Archernar in his 'carved niche' so very far away. At least, she would be alive and safe from T'Pau.

"When do I make this happen?" Sumic's question interrupted Spock's bleak thoughts.

He signaled Stron that they were leaving. "Immediately."

Two battles left now: the first with Kirk and McCoy, the second being the tribunal. How ironic a confrontation with Kirk seemed less important.

That confrontation was forced to wait while he attended duties demanding the _Enterprise_ captain. The Empress was summoning him still for the Armageddon Torpedo presentation while Security ordered interrogations for Cartwright's remaining guards as they investigated the late admiral's murder. T'Mes reported as she took over the Science Department in Saavik's absence, an absence, she noted boldly, that she considered temporary. Sagar reported Saavik was going into surgery, but he gave no prognosis for success. 

Then he heard Kirk's voice over the comm system, ordering him to present himself immediately. To his own quarters, he noted, not the admiral's. The arrogance in the human spread further than the voice that rang through the ship's hall, spreading into furtive glances from the crew as he passed. If Spock was not Vulcan and adept in its practices, that arrogance might throw him off stride. As it was, he only went through his strategy once more and headed for his quarters.

Time grew late. He must before the Empress in one hour.

Kirk was at the chessboard when Spock entered, brow creased as he unknowingly viewed it from Spock's pieces matched against Saavik. Like the Spock, Kirk considered chess a tactical exercise but made a more audacious move now than Vulcan ever would have. Saavik, on the other hand, viewed it as a game and often times, such as this match, released the Romulan in her. If it cost her every piece but one to win the game, she did not care as she did not see them as people she commanded. Because of this, she struck her opposition with a controlled fervor. Spock often mused that if Saavik kept her Romulan side more controlled, he'd win more. As it was, his greater experience was his best edge.

He eyed Kirk's move, noting the admiral didn't care about losing his pieces either despite viewing them as a military commander. It tallied with the way he easily threw people into death missions to further his own gains.

"It is fortunate you called me here, Admiral." Spock continued surveying the chessboard. "I was about to contact both you and the doctor."

McCoy was sitting at the desk, restlessly spinning the chair back and forth. At Spock's words, he stopped the chair abruptly and it rocked on its legs. His already dark frown creased even more as he jerked his head in Kirk's direction. In a second, his fingertips thrummed fretfully on the desktop.

Kirk grinned, but Spock gave him no chance to speak first.

"I assume Doctor McCoy informed you of Saavik's test results from the other day." He moved one of the chess pieces, blocking the admiral's attack. He was too logical a being to dwell on how a few days before Saavik had held these pieces, but the memory did play in his mind.

Kirk leaned his chair unto its back legs, crossing his own next to the chessboard. "So while the admiral was away, the pointed eared mice did play." He rapped a knuckle on the divider that separated them from the cabin's sleeping quarters.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "You presuppose who the father of Saavik's child was?" He did not wince on the 'was', but the word echoed in his ears.

"Well, let's see," Kirk simpered. "You two worked the same area on Hellguard. Immediately afterwards, Saavik shows up pregnant with you hovering around her in Sickbay while she's tested. Sounds like a pretty safe assumption." He tilted forward long enough to make a countermove with his chess pieces.

Spock bent down to the board again, nodding in approval of the move. "And Doctor McCoy immediately informs you of the test results while hiding them from me. Of course, you believe you have gained an upper hand by all this. Perhaps the doctor believes so as well."

McCoy's hand slapped down on the table, the resulting sound drowned out by his exploding, "Dammit, Spock! He's an admiral! He can kill me faster and by more ways than you can as a captain! I had no choice! He ordered me a long time ago to bring him anything like this about you or Saavik."

"Ah, that explains your decision to take sides when before you were content to remain neutral." Swiftly, he captured Kirk's piece. "Not a sound decision, Doctor."

The admiral's chair dropped to the floor as he grimaced over the board, clearly planning his counterstrike. McCoy began to sweat.

Spock's eyes darted between the two men. His meld with the Federation's McCoy revealed how this triangle played out in that other universe. Perhaps that had lulled him into believing himself safe with this McCoy, taking the man's advice even when it was difficult to acknowledge its truth. Never would that other triangle be repeated here, but this war had to stop. His time and efforts were needed for planning larger, Imperial takeovers.

"Gentlemen," he addressed them, "time is of the essence."

"Especially if you're Saavik," Kirk's mocked him and played his next move. "Is she dead yet? Please tell me she's stubborn enough to live a few minutes more so I can win the pool."

"Do not count your winnings, Admiral. In fact, I believe your 'pool' is defunct. Healer Sagar is operating as we speak."

"In _my_ Sickbay?" McCoy yelled.

Spock addressed him grimly. "You proved yourself untrustworthy, Doctor. And _I_ command this ship including Sickbay."

Kirk bristled. Spock held up a hand, forestalling the inevitable argument and amazingly, the man stayed silent, waiting on a tether.

"You ordered McCoy to give you this information, Admiral, should it ever occur. Why?"

Kirk's lip actually pulled back, baring white teeth. "You set yourself up as an Imperial Investigator. You _dared _do that to me! You threw down the gauntlet and I picked it up. I can't kill you, not while you're an Investigator, but you're still vulnerable through the people you surround yourself with. You don't seem to care about your father…"

__

As if you could reach Sarek. Not now, not without the Tantalus Field.

"…Your past lovers are gone, Stron and a few other of your people – I'm watching them too. Buton Saavik's second day on board, you rescued her from me. If you had made her Captain's Woman right away and then put her aside, I'd know she meant nothing. But you waited, protecting her if I made any moves while she stayed rebelliously loyal to you, and the moment you thought I wouldn't know, you bedded her. So now I have a chink in your armor."

Of course Kirk saw a woman only as important if sex was involved, although he just as equally dismissed her as something to be used. It certainly explained how Kirk's women held no place in his life.

Spock folded his hands behind his back, keeping the moment composed even in the face of Kirk's wrath. "That day you allude to, the day I saved both Saavik and myself from you by becoming an Investigator, I told you I wanted peace. Without it, we stagnated in our careers and the ship was torn apart with the conflict. My help made you an admiral. Our work together made us richer. If we truly allied ourselves, think where it will take us."

"Have you considered, Admiral, what this war has cost you? You choose Sulu over me and he serves you well… for the moment. After he has _Enterprise_, how long before his appetites turn to your position?"

"As if you're any different, Spock."

"Admiral, I will swear by any means you will hold sacred that I do not and will not seek your death." It was true. Even if he overthrew the Empire, he calculated Kirk would be killed in the upheaval making an assassination unnecessary.

Kirk chewed on his bottom lip, thinking about it. "Get rid of your Investigator title. Then I'll believe you."

"No," Spock refused evenly. "I will, however, not correct the Empress' assumption that you saved everyone from Cartwright's plot."

Kirk fumed, giving away that he thought himself vulnerable by taking credit for Saavik's actions. "That's not good enough! You say you want an alliance, but you don't prove it!"

"Admiral, in twenty-two point three seven minutes, I will appear before the Empress for the Armageddon presentation. She is vain, spoiled, and narcissistic, but she is also powerful, deadly, and fickle in her loyalties. If she discovers you lied to her, the question is only how long before she kills you."

Spock let that sink in. "I am offering to let you reap the benefits of this false credit, and the rewards are considerable. As her new favorite, you are secure from any attacks I might make, for your destruction would bring her wrath on me. I, in return, keep my Imperial Investigator's position, keeping me safe from you. However, our alliance will be so profitable, you will see my logic in no longer waging our personal war."

Kirk opened his mouth, but Spock interrupted. "This Cease Fire includes our people, _all_ our people."

The inference was clear. Saavik, Stron, Sarek, and all others were off limits. On Kirk's side, there was nobody. He had killed Carol and David Marcus himself. His brother and nephews were alive and Spock monitored them, but so far, Jim Kirk didn't seem to care one way or the other about his family. Perhaps he planned to produce an heir himself someday. If so, Spock was now swearing that child was also off limits.

Sweat beaded along Kirk's forehead as well as McCoy's, but the room's heat caused it on the former, not anxiety.

"What kind of profits do you mean?" Kirk asked finally. "How far do you plan to go?"

"To the top of the Empire," Spock answered. He watched both humans react with wide eyes before protecting himself. "In service to our Empress, of course."

Kirk's greed flamed him and he grew sleek with it. The familiar greedy light danced in his eyes as he dreamed of wealth and power, but it also meant he couldn't let anything go. "I want McCoy back in Sickbay. Now."

Spock merely accepted it. "Naturally, the doctor should be at his post. Having time to reflect, I realize he serves no more threat. Due to his refusal to inform me of Saavik's pregnancy, your guards murdered my child. Both my father and T'Pau are aware of this. He is now an enemy of my bloodline and any further attempts on me -- or those under my protection -- will bring Vulcan itself down on him. As I said before, his decision to abandon his neutrality was unwise."

He heard McCoy's swallow.

"Do we have our alliance, Admiral?"

Kirk chewed on his thumbnail, weighing everything. He got up to walk away without answering, but turned back from the door. "Done. Keep me in profits and power, and our alliance holds."

He left and McCoy straggled behind, stopping at Spock but not looking at him. He mumbled, "He threatened my daughter, you know."

"So it became your child or mine."

"Yeah. And now maybe you understand how that feels," the doctor whispered hoarsely and dragged dead feet out the cabin. "But I didn't know it'd end up this way."

Spock leaned on the wall with a hand that wanted to tremble and closed his eyes. His child and Saavik's… how long had it lived? From the first day of his pon farr or only the last day of Saavik's?

Such pain. But he couldn't give into it yet. He would meditate for the next few minutes before he presented himself and T'Mes to the Empress, and not think of how it should be Saavik with him. Perhaps by the time he returned to the _Enterprise_, Sagar would have positive news.

He straightened and looked down at the chessboard. After a moment's thought, he took Kirk's king. "Checkmate".

But he didn't know if he had won the war or only the battle.


	7. 

**Chapter 7**

Two days later, Spock stood alone with Sarek, who was flanked heavily with guards, and the formidable presence on the briefing room's viewscreen. He purposely kept his own security force in the hallway, avoiding the idea that Stron and the others stood against Vulcan in this tribunal. 

Finally, he could put aside all other matters such as the Andorian warlord and other underground allies with demands. 

Put aside Kirk's hurry now to remove the battle scars off of the ship so they could leave to get more. 

Put aside Sagar's only slightly positive account on Saavik's current status. She was stable, the seven operations she had so far endured removing the most life threatening injuries, but Sarek's orders for medical treatment covered only that Saavik live until the tribunal was concluded. She was still unconscious and the damage to such things as her nervous system -- as in her hands -- had not even been tested, let alone treated.

Spock raised his hand in ritual greeting to the screen. "Live long and prosper, T'Pau."

She had and would continue to. In Vulcan's protracted history, very few accomplished the wealth and power this woman had. She was all of Vulcan in one person and what she said spoke for the entire planet. It was no exaggeration that even the Empress feared her.

She returned his greeting and he folded his arms behind his back, exhibiting the same stoic demeanor she did. 

"I assure you the proceedings will be brief," he began.

"You are so confident, Spock?"

"I know my argument to be logical. Therefore, as one dedicated to Surak's disciplines, you will need very little time to acknowledge this for yourself."

She peered through his words for hidden meaning or disrespect. "We shall see. Sarek, if you will recite the charges." 

From his place next to an elderly Vulcan named Selahn, the legal advisor for the tribunal, Sarek rose to his feet clad in deep red robes, his sashes of chain mail bejeweled with his House symbols catching the light. "We meet to discuss the crimes against Saavik, a krenath daughter of Romulus--"

"And Vulcan," Spock added.

Sarek neither acknowledged nor denied this and Spock saw it being recorded by the computer for the official record. 

"These crimes," Sarek continued, "are two counts of _k'lasa _and _kae'at k'lasa _against Spock, son of Sarek, son of Skonn as set in our laws."

At once Spock said, "I claim these crimes are untrue."

T'Pau's mouth pinched causing a network of lines. "Spock, I was present when you spoke with Sarek, admitting to these events."

He rose an eyebrow. That she had directly heard that conversation instead of Sarek informing on him spoke a great deal. "I did not admit to _these_ events. I was not raped or seduced, not physically or mentally."

Sarek and T'Pau breathed deeply at his words, almost in unison. "Spock, tread carefully," she said. "Thee does not want to incriminate thyself."

Spock vividly recalled the memory he had seen in Saavik's mind: her father taking responsibility for raping her mother and not the other way around. He looked at Sarek. _Would you hold the phaser to my head, Father? And how quickly would you turn on Saavik again for these 'crimes' as her father's family turned on her mother? _

He addressed T'Pau, ignoring her warning not to say his next statement. He was the only heir and it gave him some leeway. If Sybok had lived or if Sarek was more inclined to produce another successor, they'd be more disposed to punish him immediately. As it was, his death was the extinction of their House. Even T'Pau would think twice before risking that.

"I go on record as the only witness to Saavik's actions. I asked her to stay with me for... the first count we discuss, and I volunteered for the second count. I also go on record that I did speak to my father in regards to what happened on Thieurrull. If I may finish," he forestalled their interference. "I do not incriminate myself because neither of these events was a crime or happened with a Romulan."

If this was a human court, his audience would break into disruptive murmurs, perhaps even shouts, but with only Vulcans present, silence was the only reaction and it lasted barely a second.

"We addressed this before," Sarek said wearily. "Saavik may have Imperial citizenship, but not Vulcan."

Spock simply nodded. "Agreed. However, by the time I have finished here, I will prove, amongst other points, that Saavik is _not_ a Romulan national."

Again his ears almost prepared for an outbreak only to have a deafening cessation of sound hit him instead. No monarch ever sat straighter in a throne than T'Pau in her divan chair. Transmitting her image across lightyears did not lose the coolness in her voice. "We have thy agreement that thou was forewarned. Proceed with thy argument."

"I call my first witness, Archernar of House Major Mei'lyr." He touched a control on the table in front of him, signaling Stron and Soluk to bring in the prisoner.

Archernar entered with a dignity and esteem that not only rivaled the Vulcans present, but the one on the viewscreen. He walked a step ahead as if escorted by an honor guard and stopped in the center of the room, turning neatly on his heel towards Sarek. He bowed deeply, keeping his eyes locked on the Vulcan's and then repeated the gesture to T'Pau. He ended this courtly introduction by sitting regally in the witness chair as if at the right hand of the Romulan Emperor.

The whole time, his humor laughed from beneath the surface of his manners. Not mocking the Vulcans, but the situation that caused them to come to him as a key witness.

Sarek's guards hovered closer, scowling fiercely, giving the impression that Archernar only had to smile to bring their justice down on himself. He took this in, eyes sparkling, but remained the epitome of honorable nobility.

Spock thought his father and T'Pau would blissfully strangle him for forcing them to endure the Romulan's presence and certainly objected to his being introduced as anything but a prisoner. Then Spock had the more the disconcerting thought that his mother would have found the Romulan and his roguish humor enchanting.

"Mr. Archernar," he began, "you brought information to me of a bioweapon developed in your Empire, a weapon manufactured to use against Vulcans."

The Romulan spoke crisply. "Yes."

"Only Vulcans?"

"Correct. It has no affect on -- say, a human or Tellarite."

Spock asked, "Will you describe the condition the weapon creates in its victims?" and braced himself. He was reasonably sure that if the words _pon farr_ were said, T'Pau would order the tribunal ended.

Archernar must have seen something of this for a corner of his mouth raised ever so slightly. His words, however, were clinical and precise. "It creates a hormonal state, specifically a chemical imbalance that strips the victim of his or her mental disciplines. Symptoms include extreme aggression, violent outbursts, intensely emotional and instinctive urges, and an increased sexual drive."

Spock felt Sarek stiffen behind him and saw the skin along T'Pau's cheekbones draw tight.

If the Romulan saw these extremely subtle signs, he ignored them and continued speaking matter of factly as a physician would. "We did not create the condition itself. It already existed in Vulcans and strikes at regular intervals. However, because the resulting lack of mental control is beneficial for interrogations, my Empire discovered a trigger for it, making it appear outside of the normal cycle."

Spock didn't give himself time for a breath. He was as appalled by this rape as any Vulcan, but he had an argument to make here and even a breath would give T'Pau a chance to speak before him. "You and your fellow prisoners created a batch of this bioweapon while on Thieurrull?"

Archernar nodded. He was about to throw Sumic to the wolves, but Spock never promised the commandant that _T'Pau_ would not discover what happened at the prison camp. "We learned of a coming rescue attempt. We made this liquid weapon agent so we may take our own prisoners. Four of the Vulcans splashed with it were saved by _Enterprise_."

For formality sake, Spock asked, "You witnessed the resulting condition in these four people?"

"I saw two of them and they spoke of a third male. Later, I discovered from a reliable source," Archernar was hard pressed not to smirk, "that the fourth person was Lieutenant Saavik."

Spock's fingers danced across his computer sending files to his father's station and to Vulcan for T'Pau. "The following evidence was garnered from Security footage in the brig and the medical exams taken three days ago."

That Security footage would reveal two more counts of Vulcans straying where they shouldn't during pon farr, but the two Romulan victims were safely leaving the ship shortly and Spock also never promised to protect Sumic's people.

"If I may summarize this particular point," he said to Archernar, "your bioweapon was used on four Vulcans aboard this ship and all four experienced the same resulting condition?"

"It's not my weapon. It's my Empire's," the Romulan corrected, "but other than that, your summary's accurate."

"To go on, this condition, because of its very nature, has resulted in children being born to the prisoners. What is the Romulan Empire's view of these hybrids?"

Even Archernar showed discomfort now. It amazed Spock the ability of those present, himself included, to murder people without second thought but to squirm when talking about the Fires and the resulting progeny.

The Romulan stroked his jaw line with a thumb. He hadn't understood why Spock thought this question necessary when they first went over his testimony. He still didn't, but Spock refused to explain his full plan to anyone. "Well, first of all, my Empire doesn't call them by such nice names as hybrids. The official viewpoint is they don't exist. Literally. Their names don't exist in their House records, they're not allowed the use of the Family name, and no one in the Family speaks of them. Unofficially, they're conceived and born to give living evidence of the prisoner's dishonor, and they're eventually thrown out on the street." 

He leaned forward in his chair and his eyes dared to snap at T'Pau. "That's on our side of the border. On _this_ side, the prisoner is a Romulan, forced to give birth to the _hybrid_ because of the Vulcan sanctity for life."

"That will be enough," Spock warned, knowing the Romulan's temper would only hurt Saavik's case.

But Archernar ignored him. "But the Vulcans don't take the kids in and they become part of the prison system. Even if the Romulan parent lives-"

"I said," Spock snapped, "that is enough."

He held an agonizer at the ready. Sarek's guards drew aim, fingers on the trigger, and Archernar exhale noisily before sitting back in his chair.

"The answer to the question," he said, his voice controlled, "is the hybrids don't exist and they're not allowed to claim they do."

Spock spoke to the room. "I have nothing further for this witness".

T'Pau entered something at her station and in a moment, Sarek read it. He stood. "The bioweapon, has it been tested on Romulans? Does the resulting condition-" 

Spock was the only one to catch the tension in those words.

"-appear in your own people?"

Archernar's humor came back, his smile friendly, the farce in it well hidden if it was there at all. "You're asking me if we experience intense emotions, aggression, and a strong sex drive? Yes, every day."

Spock waited tensely while Sarek warned the witness to answer questions without embellishing his responses. 

"Now, again," his father said, "do Romulans undergo the same resulting condition?"

Archernar dropped his head to rest on one hand while he gazed curiously at his questioner. "I got to admit, I find your question interesting. Do you mean, sir," he said that courteously, "that Vulcan has changed its stance on Romulans and Vulcans being of the same genetic stock?"

If Vulcans fidgeted, Sarek would now. "No, we have not. However, there are biological similarities, just as there are with Rigelians."

"So our weapon might work on Rigelians? No, can't be. They'd have to have the condition to begin with and they don't. Anyway, to answer your question, no, I don't know of any Romulans suffering from this... uh, chemical imbalance."

When his father moved on, Spock carefully hid his reaction. Sarek may have taken Archernar's response as a No, and why shouldn't he? The Romulan's right hand was on the verifier and it didn't sound the alarm that the witness had just lied. But Spock knew the Romulan didn't really answer the question, just escaped on a technicality. Archernar replied truthfully that he didn't know any Romulans in pon farr. That didn't mean it couldn't happen, and it was a question Spock had warned Archernar about answering. He felt his overall argument was still strong, but if Romulans did undergo the Fires, it was better left unsaid.

"You are being released to your Empire, are you not?" Sarek was saying. The witness nodded. "As a payment for your testimony. Come now, you notified more than one person you were willing to trade information for your freedom."

"Quite true," Archernar agreed cheerfully. "And then I bankrupted myself but giving that information away to your son when I thought he knew it already."

"So you generously agreed to appear here with no price attached?"

Archernar spread his hands in a shrug. "Not quite. Captain Spock lets me live if I tell what I know. I call that a good price."

"And yet we have a prisoner exchange."

The question was meant for him so Spock answered it. He spoke unemotionally but knew his meaning weighed profoundly. "You heard what is happening to our people captured on Thieurrull. The exchange seeks to bring them home. The damage will be done, but not compounded by their deaths."

No one said anything in reply, but Sarek's next question took a beat to come. "One last point for the witness. Have you met Lieutenant Saavik?"

The answering smile blossomed with nothing holding back the pleasure in it. "Oh yes. Only briefly, I'm sad to say."

"Do you see any Romulan traits in her?"

Archernar gave a great sigh of delight. "Thankfully, yes. If you know what to look for, it's there."

Sarek whirled on Spock. "Do you agree Saavik is half-Romulan?"

If he intended the question to be alarming, it fell flat. Spock had announced his intentions to prove Saavik wasn't a Romulan and Sarek sought to check that. But his son planned a better line of reasoning than this question could dispute, so Spock replied easily, "I do."

His father eyeballed him with a long, measuring gaze before shaking his head once. Quite plainly, he was giving up on saving Spock from whatever tricks he planned. "No more questions for this witness."

Archernar rose with easy grace and once more bowed to Sarek then T'Pau. "It has been my honor."

Incredibly, T'Pau's head dipped slightly in return. "If your return brings one of my own home, then your crimes with this weapon will be balanced minutely with some honor."

Real respect flickered in Archernar's expression and he bowed one last time. As he left between Stron and Soluk once more, he ruined it by winking at Spock.

"For my next witness, I call Selahn." 

Sarek's objected. "Selahn is here as an observer and only that because he traveled with me to the Empress' court. He will not be badgered over such trifle as this."

Spock merely noted, "You can see he is on my list. I merely seek clarification on certain laws."

Nobody warned him further as he kept blatantly disregarding them when they did, but their eyes stayed on Spock as the elderly Selahn took the witness chair. No one insulted him by asking him to place a hand on the verifier.

"Your service here today honors me, Selahn," Spock began. A great deal of modern Vulcan law was written by the Elder sitting before him and no one understood it better.

The legal consultant had an odd habit of fluttering his eyelids ending in one strong blink. He did it now as he peered at Spock. "Be warned, son of Sarek. I am not here to twist the law to your preference."

"I would not ask you to do so, sir. Merely inform me of what the edicts are regarding certain situations. For instance, what takes precedence, our law or Imperial law?"

Selahn settled in the chair, taking on the air of someone contentedly lecturing on his favorite topic. "Imperial law."

"Are there exceptions to this? What if a human breaks our law, but under the Imperial code, he did not? Do we take precedence because the violation was against us?"

The legal representative made a satisfied noise. "You speak of the days when we first traveled in the Universe, before the Empire. Then, yes, we, being the violated party, did take precedent. However, the Empire does not recognize anyone as   
superior to its law. So if it did not find legal fault with the accused, we could do nothing."

Spock saw Sarek's argument and exposed it. "No exceptions? Could some Imperial be implored to allow Vulcan jurisdiction?"

"If they had sufficient power to grant it, yes."

"Except another Imperial could override it, granted he or she had the authority, correct? For example, if this human had saved members of the Empress' inner circle from assassination, she might override Vulcan jurisdiction to protect this human under Imperial law?"

"Of course."

Sarek's folded hands tightened and Spock fought not to raise an eyebrow. After all, he hadn't spoken to the Empress about any of this and he risked his alliance with Kirk if he did. However, nothing stopped him from giving the _appearance_ that he had.

"If you do not mind my extrapolating further, what if the accused was partly of Vulcan blood? Myself for example. If I did not have Vulcan citizenship, only Imperial, would the situation change?"

Selahn fluttered his eyelids again, but seemed validated in a much better way than Sarek did. "Ah, I knew we would come to this."

Spock doubted anyone else did.

"If you had Terran citizenship, not Vulcan, we could not enforce jurisdiction."

Spock prudently kept anything but the same calm, questioning tone from his words. "And if I did not have any citizenship other than Imperial?"

"The results are the same." Selahn clapped his hands on his knees, fluttered his eyes again, and looked off into the distance to some place where no one cared about anything except discussing legal points. "You thought this otherwise as do so many others."

_My father included._

"As it happens, these are the exact points I came to discuss with the Empress. Not for this case, but another. Her mandate is this: her law supercedes all others. We live in an Empire, not a democracy. We have had many experiences where we won jurisdiction, but this was due to no one in the Empire caring to override the procedures, most likely fearing our retribution. This included the Empress. However, in the past year, three cases were overturned in Imperial court, one taken to the Empress who canceled even our Council's order. You remember, T'Pau," he said casually. By her expression, she did. "Almost certainly, the latter was due to the Empress wishing to exert her authority in this small way. Especially when she has not dared to in more important matters between her throne and the Vulcan Council."

__

So the Empress finds amusement in tugging T'Pau's chain and reminding her who is monarch when she can. I did not know this.

Selahn could go for hours, but Spock had his answers. "No further questions, sir. Again, the honor has been mine."

Sarek stood at his desk. "Selahn, I have only one. For as small a matter as this case would be to the Empress, would she assert Imperial jurisdiction?"

"You know the Empress better than I, Sarek." The statement was made with no particular slur, but Spock began to find the tribunal most interesting. "I doubt she would get involved unless what Spock said is true."

"That being?"

__

Father must be flustered if he does not remember this point. 

"If the accused has performed some favor to the Empress or her inner circle. Other than that one exception, I cannot see the Imperial sovereign bothering herself over one hybrid."

Selahn looked back and forth from father to son, but Sarek kept his word and excused him from further questions. Spock made no rebuttal and Selahn, looking displeased he no longer had the opportunity to lecture, made his way back to his chair.

"Your next witness, Spock?" T'Pau asked.

"Is you, T'Pau." He didn't need Sarek's or Selahn's tense reaction or the hard image on the viewscreen to tell him he was crossing a line. "With all respect, you gave the execution order so I must make my final point to you."

Her reply pulsed with warning. "Make it quickly."

"I will. A short moment ago, Sarek asked me to confirm Saavik is half-Romulan. I did. Do you confirm Saavik is half-Vulcan?"

"Yes." She couldn't say anything else. All records stated this biological fact.

"Despite this, Saavik is not given Vulcan citizenship."

"Correct."

Did she not see the trap coming? Or did she see she couldn't avoid it? "So Saavik is not a Vulcan national."

"Agreed."

"Then I have made my case. I expect the execution order to be immediately withdrawn and all necessary medical treatments made." He sat down calmly as if nothing else could be said, but it was an artificial effect.

T'Pau's hands clasped the arms of her chair firmly while Sarek leaned forward on his desk. "You have made no case," she rebuked. "If you state you have no more arguments, I am prepared to order the execution."

Spock steepled his fingers in front of him, his eyebrows knitted tranquilly in thought. "Perhaps I have been dramatic in my conclusion. That does not refute the truth I make. I proved through expert witness that Saavik was a victim of a bioweapon that works on Vulcans. Despite this and her parentage, you state Saavik's Vulcan blood does not enter into the equation. Correct?"

Her terse reply told him he had used what little latitude she once bestowed.

"Then, logically, Saavik's Romulan blood cannot make her one of their nationals. If her Vulcan parent cannot make her a Vulcan, her Romulan parent cannot make her a Romulan. Therefore, the law in question does not apply to her. She is no more guilty than any other of the bioweapon's victims."

He stood, arms folded behind his back, and spoke easily. "In addition, I have made the following points. Saavik is accused of rape, or at the minimum, mental and physical seduction, and yet you have no witnesses to collaborate your charges. The only eyewitness, myself, has gone on record that these crimes were not committed. Also, being that I am the supposed victim here, I have refused to bring charges on the defendant. Therefore, she can only be found not guilty."

Selahn nodded absently, but only Spock saw it.

"Second, as you heard, Saavik is not a Romulan citizen. Their Empire makes no claim to her nationality or her existence. They deny her as you do. Therefore, she is not guilty as she is not a Romulan citizen and the law specifies Romulans only."

"Third and last, Vulcan also denies Saavik citizenship and legal status, so she cannot be held legally to any authority except that of her Imperial citizenship. The Empire has no law against a Vulcan national having a relationship with an Imperial citizen."

"Lastly, you cannot claim both ways legally. If you claim she is Vulcan so she is held accountable by our laws, then she is not guilty of _k'lasa _and _kae'at k'lasa_ because she is Vulcan, not Romulan."

"I again say that I expect the execution order to be immediately withdrawn and all necessary medical treatments be made."

He was right and they all knew it, but he had flouted Vulcan's privacy by bringing Archernar in to discuss their secret mating rituals. He had pressed T'Pau, despite his announcement that he meant no disrespect, until she appeared to have the reasoning of a pre-Kahswan child. Logically, she must award him the victory, but his defiance begged consequences and Vulcan justice took that into account.

Considering all this, the comm signal was a blessing. "Keptin Spock?" 

He looked for permission before answering. "Yes, Mr. Chekov?"

His first officer's voice had the slightest uneasy edge. He must know with whom Spock was meeting. "My apologies, Keptin. The Empress requests both you and Mr. Sumic report immediately. She questions vhy ve are releasing our Romulan prisoners."

Judging by T'Pau's expression, the Empress was going to be the one uneasy. "Attend to this, Spock. Do not let this exchange for our people go undone. We are adjourned here until tomorrow morning."

Meaning Vulcan time, not Imperial. No matter. If some of T'Pau's soiled mood could be taken out on the Empress, so much the better. The Vulcan matriarch was displeased the Imperial monarch might get involved in Saavik's case so she was picking a bigger battle. "I will do as you say."

He sounded like the repentant child, but she wasn't fooled. Neither was Sarek by the look of him and they were right. He would not back down from his argument. They could confer with Selahn, but he was sure his points couldn't all be swept away.

Sarek waited for them to be alone, but no longer than that. "My son."

Spock shutdown the recording station, not looking up. "I have pressing matters, Father."

"This takes only a moment." 

__

And you certainly will mollify the Empress, he thought bitterly and regretted his pettiness.

Sarek folded his hands and lectured sternly. "You show disregard for our ways, and risk yourself and our House by doing so."

"I regret if I offended anyone," Spock answered tightly. "However, I did not create this situation, I seek to rectify it. Regardless of how I make my argument, T'Pau and you must choose logic over prejudice."

Sarek scowled. "You immediately contradict your vow to show consideration with accusations of bigotry. Is this your sense of how to favorably make your case?"

Spock snapped the padds in his hands against the table, straightening them in order, but using the noise and gesture as a protest. "You once told me, Father, that logic must rule out over everything. That includes how I state my facts. When something is clearly the truth, it must be recognized as so. Now, my responsibilities require me to be elsewhere." 

The door closed behind him before Sarek could stop him. His father sank into a chair and gazed after the younger man. He once had another such son, headstrong and impassioned with beliefs. Sybok had been a revolutionary and his arguments, even with the glimmering of truth in some of them, caused his execution.

And because of prejudice, a distant cousin of Sarek's had murdered Amanda. He only had Spock left.

He needed to push up from the chair to stand, feeling an additional century like a yoke over his shoulders. He did nothing so melodramatic as to look at the viewscreen where T'Pau once was before leaving for Sickbay.

As requested, Sagar was there by Saavik's bedside. The healing sleep, not surgery, was curing the visible lacerations and contusions, but bruises and angry green marks discolored her exposed skin. She appeared not serene as a Vulcan might, but dead. Only the small, slow rise and fall of her chest plus the indicators above her head showed she was alive.

Sagar wasted no time with greetings. "You asked for a status report?" Sarek nodded. "Internal bleeding was alleviated in surgery as well as critical injuries to any organs. Kidney transplants became necessary using cloned organs the patient had in stasis per standard procedures. Broken bones threatening her vital organs were healed but no others. In short, she is alive and will remain so. However, other injuries were left alone."

He picked up one still mangled hand, holding it delicately, not from compassion but in caution for his stronger psi-senses so important to a healer. "Such as this damage. Her healing trance causes the bones to re-calcify in the position they were in, so her hands are malformed."

Like any Vulcan, the thought of losing his hands shook Sarek. That inborn response caused his next question. "The psi-points in her hands, have you tested them?"

Perhaps a shade of Sarek's reaction clouded Sagar's own expression. "Only slightly. I cannot tell if she will ever initiate a mental contact again. However, she is receiving."

Logic and the reason why he came here returned, but Sarek strove to keep that reason hidden. "What did you discover about her mental state?"

"The patient is in difficult straits. From what I saw, she attempted to withdraw into stronger pain disciplines at the same time she was rendered unconscious, triggering her healing trance. However, as the patient believed she was dying, her katra sought an anchor where there was none. So her current mental state is a confusion of memory and post-traumatic shock, deepened with the healing sleep, while her katra is arrested in pre-separation."

Sarek re-thought his plans. It sounded like Saavik was spiraling downward into a disconnected psyche and capable of dragging someone else with her. "With such chaos, you risked too much in contacting her."

But Sagar disagreed. "No more than any other meld. True, she cannot control the contact, but I was able to." 

He paused for a beat before plucking a Feinberger off a nearby tray and playing it over her abdomen. "You trusted me with the reason why you ordered her treatment and its limitations," he said, keeping his voice carefully lowered. "However, you did not request knowing if she was capable of having children in the future, so I did not test her reproductive system."

No, future children were not Sarek's concern and Sagar removed the one obstacle to his plans. He thanked the healer, "Your service, as always, is exemplary," and waited for him to leave before approaching the bed.

Spock still kept a guard posted near Saavik, Sarek was displeased to see. His son no longer governed his actions to protect himself from this association. Sarek ordered Saavik's medical treatment, true, but with it, his debt to the mother of his late grandchild and the woman who saved his life was paid. He owed Saavik nothing.

Still, the thought that he had stood by while she was beaten, causing the miscarriage he now mourned, was unforgettable.

Without seeming to, he glanced over the nearby personal guard, a Vulcan male he did not recognize. He wondered if this would be easier or harder if the loyal Stron was here.

Knowing the guard's orders were intended towards McCoy was a significant benefit, however, so Sarek approached him simply enough. In fact, having someone nearby might be necessary.

The man nodded respectfully and returned to searching the room.

"May I have your name?" Sarek asked.

"Shetuk."

"Have there been any problems, Shetuk?"

"None today, sir. Only Healer Sagar and Captain Spock visited today. And, of course, the other guards."

"Of course."

Spock brazenly visited Sickbay. How long before those who didn't know the situation discovered it? His son would never forgive him for what he was about to do, he'd lose Spock forever, but better this than to lose his son's life itself.

He looked down at the unconscious form on the bed and almost, but not quite, touched the bruised cheek. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shetuk notice the movement. He pulled his hand away.

"My apologies," the guard said straight away. Then, "I heard of the loss to your House."

"Yes," said Sarek. Interesting the honorable expressions of empathy for a miscarriage when the mother was in such dishonor. "A difficult loss indeed."

With Shetuk regarding his visit so benevolently and certain to help if Sarek became lost, he hesitated no longer and touched the psi points on Saavik's cheek and temple.

__

My mind to your mind... My thoughts to your thoughts.

Despite Sagar's description, entering this personal nightmare was almost a physical blow. He at first sensed only an abyss, a cavity of nothingness, separating him from Saavik as if she waited at the other end of a great empty hall. As he crossed this, he abruptly entered a full world of what he assumed was a memory. 

Around him, Vulcans garbed in Starfleet uniforms raced through the dirty, stark compound he suddenly found himself standing in. Archaic, crumbling barracks, gray against the dirt and dust surrounding them, made the state of the art energy-fencing stand out even more. What he first thought were more Vulcans until he noticed the tattered, in some cases utterly ruined, prison uniforms they wore, tore at their dormitories, breaking off pieces, shattering benches for weapons, and pouring through a break in the gate. Romulans struck at Vulcans, energy weapons fired and makeshift clubs shattered on bones.

From the sky, ship phasers cannoned into the ground causing Sarek to whirl as his feet were heaved by the quaking surface. He fell and as he struggled to stand, he faced the main sign for the encampment, but he didn't need to read the Vulcan lettering spelling a Romulan name: Thieurrull. Written crudely beneath it in red lettering, as if scrawled with their own blood, was the humans' name for it: Hellguard.

The sea of fighting figures paid no heed to him. They couldn't as they played out a battle that already had happened long ago and which was being reenacted from memory.

The stinging dust, stirred up by the combating people and whipped by the wind, slashed and stung him until Sarek forcefully reminded himself he did not have to be beaten by a memory image. Still, he squinted out of habit while he released his mind, searching for the one presence he wanted.

It was the meld that pulled her figure from the crowd. She dashed through the battle, free of the injuries scarring her physical body, weaving and ducking where she could, pulling her phaser and knife when she couldn't. She was clothed in Starfleet trousers and boots, but a prisoner's uniform tunic, and she reacted to this world like it was real. That let her change the memory as she fought figures -- Vulcan and Romulan alike -- which should have gone through her like ghosts.

Sarek called above the wind. "Saavik!"

She ignored him, or didn't hear him, and he almost lost her as she ran into the thick of it. He wafted through, seeping through the bodies around him ethereally, until he caught sight of her again. He yelled once more and managed to grab her arm, using the meld to form this physical motion. 

Her eyes flashed and she grabbed his robe, pulling him closer to shout near his ear. "We have to find him!"

She pointed at the collapsing dormitories and dashed a long stride away before hearing him shout, "Find whom?"

She looked at him, bewildered. "Can you not hear him cry?"

"Who!"

"Him!" She staggered as she at once tried to run and stop in the same second. Her bewilderment turned into herself. "Her." 

Her head lifted in the wind, catching some sound, burning off her confusion. She glared back at him, commanding him to follow, and he was forced to run after her.

Ahead, the battle cleared, the dust cleared, and interwoven in broken timbers, metal, and concrete were dark shadows giving Sarek only brief glimpses of tangled hair, filthy skin, and too old eyes. Saavik made for these figures as if called and they scattered as she neared, revealing themselves as children searching for other shadows to hide in, and she hurdled over the pile of debris.

"No!" she shouted after them, stretching out a flung arm to halt them.

A piercing noise shattered the air. Saavik and the children hastily clapped hands over their ears and Sarek twisted around seeing the Romulan prisoners do the same while Vulcans guards wore protective earplugs.

__

Standard procedure. The prisoners cannot fight with that noise stabbing them.

Saavik yelled above the noise. "This is wrong! The prisoners shutdown the siren when they rioted!"

Her news bothered Sarek for only one reason. She was not in control of their surroundings. It changed with her state.

The escaping children, their prisoners' clothes reduced to rags tied about them, crashed to the ground, writhing at first from the acute pain caused by the siren and then falling still.

Sarek saw Saavik in silhouette and hurried through the wreckage to demand an explanation. The sight of small bodies strewn across the ground stopped him dead, as dead as he feared these children were. He automatically reached for the nearest, a boy, and wondered if this was the one whose cries Saavik heard.

She was suddenly there, pulling him away. "Don't!"

The boy abruptly came alive and stabbed at his heart with a makeshift knife of broken metal, a foul cloth wrapped around it for a hilt. 

As swiftly as it happened, the boy disappeared as if wiped away by the wind.

His controls sorely hard pressed, Sarek reeled back on Saavik. "Explain this!"

"We must find the child!" She searched the small bodies but didn't draw near to any of them. "She -- he -- is crying. Do you not hear it?"

He towered over her. "What child?"

She looked up, short tempered. "Mine!"  


He withdrew, stung. _Oh no. She does not know she miscarried._

He spoke calmly, tried to be soothing, but it was hypocrisy next to his reason for coming here. "Saavik, the child was not born."

"I know!" She glared, questioning his intelligence. "But I used to hear him -- her..." 

Her voice trailed off, frustrated once more about the child's gender, but unwilling to use the word 'it'.

"You heard them cry?"

"I heard... an echo." She searched the horizon, seeking that voice again.

"Saavik... you will not find the child here. He or she died when you were beaten."

With no warning, like a puppet with its strings cut, she sagged to her knees and then dropped to all fours. Her body convulsed, her back arching as if her stomach spasmed and she jerked with it. At the movement, the surrounding memory changed in a blink, replaced with the banquet room of Warbase 5.

Or what Sarek saw of it. A wall of bodies blocked his vision of the room, and he realized he saw this from Saavik's point of view. Before, he was on the other side of this living wall, checking the dead forms of Cartwright and Valeris, looking over his shoulder then as the guards struck the woman T'Pau ordered executed. Now, those blows were aimed at him, passing through his mental body and thrashing the hunched woman. In fact, he saw the heavy boot that hit her abdomen hard, inevitably causing her miscarriage, and looked up into the laughing face of the captain of the _Excelsior_.

"I must live long enough to kill him," Saavik said calmly.

Sarek stared down at her bleeding body, but she hadn't spoken from there. Another image of her appeared, standing next to Sulu in some disgustingly exposing uniform with insignia pins gathered on her hip like scalps. The spark in her eyes died in the next instant, becoming haunted.

"I have been living a dream."

Those eyes snapped on him and he knew she really saw him for the first time. "I tire of people entering my mind without permission. Why didn't your healer tell me I lost the child? Oh, I sensed Sagar's fleeting touch. What satisfaction did you obtain by being the one to tell me?"

__

Fleeting touch? That explains why Sagar did not describe this chaos. He barely touched it.

He refused to be defensive. "None. I came here for different reasons."

This image of her was quite composed, if disapproving, but he lived in her mind, by her thoughts and feelings. He was swept by her pain and mourning along with her anger for him and T'Pau.   
  
"Control yourself," he ordered, "or have you learned nothing of Vulcan's ways?"   
  
The presence around him crackled like her eyes that suddenly took a gleam of cunning. "As you wish."   
  
Their surroundings melted more gently this time, reforming into greenery, the air fresh with the clean smell of plant life, while behind him a fountain splashed. He spun around taking it all in. Near the fountain, bending over the roses, was a human woman that fought hard to keep the flowers living on a planet where they weren't meant to be. Amanda, humming to herself, her fingers stained by the rich soil Sarek determinedly brought from Earth. In other beds, Vulcan plants were thriving in native soil, while in still others, the hybrids that he and Amanda had painstakingly developed flourished. 

Seeing Amanda shoved the fact that Saavik had just taken control of her environment to the back of Sarek's mind.

__

My wife.

Not legally, but still his, no matter what anyone else said, no matter what he had so stupidly told himself in the beginning. That first year of their affair, when he had told himself he dared take a human as a lover because Amanda was a member of the powerful Grayson family. It gave him a great deal of sway as Vulcan and Earth hammered out their places in the Empire.

And then his pon farr and Amanda was pregnant, and he learned he belonged to her from the second she had first noticed him. He hadn't made Amanda his lover, she had made him hers. Which was why he had fought his family so hard to keep her and their unborn child, and why he was so destroyed when the Graysons had refused to let her marry him. She made them acknowledge her child was one of them, but they threatened if she married -- he heard again all the vile names they had called him -- they'd take away the baby's birthright.

And Amanda came to him anyway, defying her family by twisting their rules. She never married Sarek, keeping Spock's inheritance, but she stayed with him the rest of her life.

He caught sight of himself in the pool of the fountain. Unconsciously, his mental image had changed; his hair darker, his face unlined, and his body trim and proud. He glanced again at Amanda. This was how he felt he appeared whenever she had looked at him.  
  
"Mother."   
  
Sarek turned to the strong, deep voice and saw Spock standing in uniform at the garden's entrance. This then was how Saavik had this memory. Spock must have given it to her. As his father, Sarek refused to think of when and why.   
  
Amanda spoke over her shoulder, gently chiding. "I told you not to bring those weapons in here."   
  
Spock arched his eyebrows. "Our family has enemies, Mother. I either carry these or those more traditional to home. And I remember times you aimed a phaser at someone yourself."   
  
"Not in here and only when someone threatened you before you could defend yourself." She didn't exactly smile, but her eyes were alight and her words contained laughter. "This is my haven, Spock. We're safe in here, if for no other reason than the extensive security your father and you have around the place."

A few years after this scene, Sarek's cousin would abuse his trust by learning the security codes and murder Amanda here in her retreat. And the Graysons would revoke their pledge and take away Spock's inheritance.

Amanda was saying to Spock, "Now, be useful, and bring me that bag."   
  
He dutifully lifted the heavy bag of planting soil and brought it to her, bending down to sit on his haunches. Amanda scooped up thick handfuls and dumped them into the hole for a new tree.   
  
Saavik moved behind them, gazing softly down at this Spock. "I see where he inherited this side of himself." She visibly relaxed and so did her presence around them. "He told me Amanda could have easily picked up the bag. She was stronger than human women her size from all the years living in Vulcan's gravity. This was her way of keeping him busy until you came home."   
  
_When he and I were first putting our relationship back together, after my acceptance of his career._ Sarek objected to Starfleet. If Spock was to fight for riches and power, let him do it for Vulcan as Sarek himself did. 

The last thing he and Spock had united over was executing Amanda's killer, and destroying the Graysons until none stood in line before Spock, seizing back his legacy. It made him a powerful man on Earth as well as Vulcan, and saved him some struggle in Starfleet.  
  
But this moment, here in the garden, was a family scene, one Sarek had pleasantly come home to, and Saavik intruded by using it.   
  
"How dare you?" He glared at her. "You have no place here."   
  
She ignored the affront. "And I see where Spock inherited _that_ part of himself. You come into my mind, you play by my rules. Really, Sarek, control yourself. We are Vulcans, are we not?"   
  
"You mock me? You have no right!"   
  
Her calm facade was burned off by tightly reined temper. "Neither do you. Why are you here, Sarek?"   
  
He stepped rapidly across the distance, working himself between her and the woman and son who meant everything to him. "Do you know the dishonor you have brought down on my family?"   
  
She had the decency to look away in guilt. "I did not intend it. Spock's life was in danger, and I had the chance to save it. I tried to rectify the situation afterwards before it harmed him. I never intended the rest of this to happen. I thought I would be dead by now and Spock safe."   
  
He felt her sincerity, but this revelation was a surprise. "You stopped Cartwright knowing Kirk's guards would kill you?"   
  
"Yes. It is why I went there alone."   
  
His eyebrows screwed together into a thunderous line. "You deliberately killed my grandchild?"   
  
Her anger, exhibited in this mental image that flew into his face, buffeted him with its strength. "_Never_ accuse me of that again. I did not know I was pregnant until after the attack."   
  
"Do not lie to me. You said you sensed the child, that you heard its presence as an echo."   
  
"I was told the Romulan bioweapon affected mental disciplines, so I thought the echo was a distortion from it."   
  
Amanda's laughter peeled lightly behind him and the incongruous sound caused him to grabs the tatters of his control before he lost it. Saavik sat heavily on a bench, her head bent low. He never should have entered her mind; its shaky state was affecting him -- or so he told himself.   
  
"Why are you here, Sarek?" she asked again flatly. She lifted her head to look up at him. "You never said."   
  
He straightened his shoulders and folded his hands, but before he could answer, she was off the bench and in front of him. "Spock. Something has happened. Tell me."   
  
He looked down into that demanding face. "You should have died with my grandchild."   
  
Her head jerked back, but he doubted his view shocked her. By now, he should have expected the scene around them to change, this time into someone's quarters. Hers, he guessed, from the view of her staring quietly at the phaser in her hand.   
  
Her second image spoke, the one projected from this damage psyche that simultaneously lived within and separate from the memories. "Only a Vulcan can mourn the ending of one life and in the next breath, desire the death of another. Is that why you are here, Sarek? To convince me to die?"   
  
"Yes." He used her memory and, for the first time, bent his will to it, making it show something he wanted. He gestured her to follow and went to the porthole on the wall opposite her bed. 

  
He pointed to a shimmering, thin line of light extending from their position out into space. "I do not know how much of our disciplines you understand, but that is all that links you to life."   
  
She raised fingertips to the porthole. "That thread?"   
  
"Yes. Sever it and your dishonor will be gone with you."   
  
She dropped her raised hand. "It is not that easy."   
  
A sudden movement in the other room drew his attention. The other Saavik, the one reliving the past, shoved the phaser to her head, her eyes squeezing shut as she tried to press the trigger. The Saavik beside him was suddenly next to her sister image. "I tried suicide, I am not good at it."   
  
He pulled back at her, trying to draw her again to the porthole. "You went to the Warbase to kill yourself."   
  
"I was dying for a reason."   
  
"There is reason now!"   
  
They were gone again, in new quarters. Spock's, Sarek recognized. In this memory, she was standing close to his son, arguing, while Stron and Soluk looked politely away.   
  
This time, the Saavik image in the memory turned to him, stepping out of the past. "Spock said he had a way to save me. That is the problem, isn't it?"   
  
Sarek watched as his son spoke emphatically, demanding hoarsely if she wanted to die.   
  
"Yes," he said softly. His throat felt tight. "His argument is too good. I can counter a few of his points, but not all of them. He dares T'Pau to find against him. He puts himself between the two of you."   
  
"Are you certain she means to kill him?"   
  
He kept looking at Spock, aching as his son picked the wrong battle. "You said he is so important to you, you are willing to die for him. Do so. Sever that link."   
  
Someone called, the voice weak. "Father."   
  
Spock. 

__

No, do not tell me he is bonded to her! If Spock was, threatening Saavik's lifeline would bring him here.

Or he simply could have entered Sickbay and seen Sarek standing over her in a meld.  
  
Saavik was wrestling with what he said. Had he swayed her? He could cut that thin line himself. It would mean his own death; he was too far into her mind to pull out in time, but if it saved Spock, death was not too high a price.

He hesitated, wondering if he could be saved by Saavik ending this herself.   
  
"Father!" Spock was so far away, at the barest level of touching the meld.

Saavik seemed to hear this time and Sarek braced himself for the inevitable change of scene.

They were in a small dwelling, one corner crowded with heavily encased computers. A lytherette sat on the chair. From behind came Spock's voice, warm and teasing.

"You laughed when I was jealous over your former lovers and now you're jealous of mine?"

Sarek didn't dare turn around to look, not in this setting where his son spoke so intimately and Saavik's voice answered in the same way.

"I did not laugh, and it was different!"

The sound of a bed creaking and the whisper of skin against skin; Sarek hurriedly moved through the wall, not bothering for such physical things as leaving through the door. But he was trapped, the memory refusing to let him change it.

"Because?" Spock asked huskily.

And Saavik chuckled low in her throat. "Because you were under the Fires then, not me."

"I cannot argue with that logic."

Sarek was suddenly shoved and he fell outside. Saavik blocked his way back into the house as if he had trespassed instead of being dragged here. Her defiance lashed at him and he once more determined he needed to break her lifeline himself.  
  
"Father!" Spock was drawing closer. "You are too deep! Come back before you cannot be separated!" 

It was risky to kill Saavik now. If his son moved nearer, he might be pulled down with her. If Sarek was to do this, he had to do it immediately.

Saavik glanced at him, looked away. "Go."   
  
"You must listen--"   
  
"I have. Go."   
  
Something in her attitude convinced him. He reached out to Spock's voice, used it as a beacon for the way out. He recited the mantra:   
  
_I am Sarek. I am separate, an individual apart from here. I am Sarek..._  
  
Spock was nearer, he could sense it, and Saavik was growing further away, a conflicted form gripping itself.   
  
_I am Sarek..._  
  
As if he was drowning underwater, Spock dragged him out and his mind snapped back in his body, the meld ended.   
  
He closed his eyes and drew a deep, cleansing breath. He opened his eyes to Spock, who gripped his hand, the one that touched Saavik's face.   
  
"What have you done, Father?" He flung Sarek's hand away like something diseased. "Tell me what you did."

Sarek folded one hand over the other, his sleeves dropping over them, almost enveloping them. He knew he'd face Spock's reaction when he started this. "I was checking her mental state."

Not an outright lie, but undeniably an evasion.

Spock elevated an eyebrow skeptically. "That is quite kind of you, Father. I did not know you were so concerned."

"My son, I am most definitely concerned." 

Spock searched his expression and words carefully. He was still skeptical. "Most kind indeed. I take it I can count on your support fully? Even if you must do so openly with T'Pau?"

Sarek noticed Stron and T'Mes in the corner with the personal guard, including a new one on duty with Shetuk. The guards now wore their heavy helmets and it changed their features. Still, the man's face seemed familiar. Sarek checked the small House emblem unobtrusively adorning the uniform. This must be Savoruf, son of Svean. If he remembered correctly, the man was new to Spock's people and his father was loyal to Sarek. He might need to make use of that.

"You may not believe me, Spock, but I want only what is best for you."

His son's eyes lowered, thinking. "I will endeavor to remember it." 

__

You will forget it when Saavik is dead. "That is all I can ask." 

"While I am aware that I ask for much. My only argument is your understanding my position as you went through this when you first chose Mother."

Sarek knew more than ever he was right in what he had done. Spock didn't plan to put Saavik aside. He planned to keep her despite the risks. "You compare Saavik to Amanda? Are you certain she is still willing to come to you after all that decision has cost her?"

Spock blanched at the idea and, too late, Sarek yearned to take the words back. "My son..."

It hurt seeing the wall they had battered themselves against their whole lives rise between them again. It hurt because he caused its revival.

"I wondered the same thing, Father. How could Saavik choose a man who has cost her a child and almost her own life?"

Sarek tried not to remember what Amanda had said on the day she had returned from the Graysons and surprised him by slipping in bed next to him. _"People think they can keep from me from you, but they're wrong, Sarek. Our bonding is a marriage by itself. It makes you my husband and no one can make me think differently."_

Spock's face bore that same defiant look. "What Saavik's answer might be has no bearing on the tribunal and my arguments in it."

Spock might be in pain, but the alternative -- Saavik continuing to live -- was worse. _I am sorry, my son._ "As you say. And the Empress? You returned rather quickly."

"The Empress rejoices in an additional opportunity to salt the Romulans' wounds over Thieurrull being destroyed. Returning the prisoners will spread the word of the Armageddon Torpedo through eyewitness accounts. The exchange goes on as planned. Also, _Enterprise_ has new orders. We leave for further targets once our battle repairs are complete," Spock stressed the next words, "after the tribunal closes tomorrow morning."

Sarek heard the stiffness, a shadow of a small boy's hurt in years past when Spock tried to hide his pain over Sarek being too strict or not understanding his trials. Amanda was always better at handling such moments, but Amanda was dead.

Like a rusty machine, creaky from lack of use, Sarek tried to reach out to his son. "My advice, Spock, is to not be beset by all these difficulties. You will see you are able to rise above everything that happens. You do have my support in that."

But Spock only seemed confused and how could he be otherwise? Sarek dared not speak his mind since the boy wasn't willing to hear the truth. Boy? Spock was an accomplished adult and his father, to use Amanda's words, was proud of him. And feared for him.

Sarek nodded in goodbye and found T'Mes was in the path to the door. 

She dipped her head in greeting. "Sarek." She addressed him not as a junior officer to a Vulcan dignitary, but a member of one noble allied House to another. For a moment, he thought she saw through him, but her expression, like all their people's, was bland. He could read nothing in it. He took his leave.

Spock exchanged glances with Shetuk, the guard still on duty. "Do you agree with Sarek's statement? Was he checking on Saavik's health?"

Shetuk spoke without hesitation. "He made no direct statement regarding his purposes. However, he did speak at length with Sagar, including questions concerning Lieutenant Saavik's mental state. He also told me how deep the loss was to your house regarding the miscarriage."

Spock was torn. His father seemed to be hiding nothing. "And yet, why such a deep meld?"

"Perhaps he was drawn into it?" Shetuk suggested. "Sagar did say she suffered from an instability."

That didn't help settle Spock at all.

The guard Sarek identified as Savoruf spoke firmly. "The question is, do you trust Sarek, Captain?"

He hadn't expected Savoruf to speak at all, but the man seemed guileless in this instance. Only Spock couldn't answer the question. He honestly didn't know. Did his father finally see the truth? 

Saavik wasn't sleeping peacefully. Her eyes darted under the lids and lines stressed her mouth. 

"I will check her myself." He reached for her temple expecting the others to pull back to give him privacy, but they didn't.

Stron even put a hand out, blocking his way to Saavik. "Captain, with all respect, if she is unstable, repeated melds may make her worse. You do her no good by endangering yourself."

"I must know if my father plans more than he tells us. If something goes wrong in the meld, you should see it on the medical indicators." He nodded towards the board above the bed.

Stron hesitated and glanced sideways to his wife. With him, T'Mes looked back at Spock before silently agreeing. Stron removed his hand. "We'll stay nearby."

"I will bring Sagar here in case his intervention is necessary," T'Mes said.

Spock stopped her from going. "No, I do not want the healer reporting to my father on our movements. Be ready to summon him, but do so only if you have no other choice."

The other three Vulcans stayed by the bed, hovering. Sooner or later, someone in Sickbay would notice the unusual sight. He ordered them to the regular guard positions, T'Mes on the perimeter in case she need to fetch Sagar. With no more privacy than their step away gave him, he touched the psi-points on Saavik's temple, cheek, and jaw.

He eased their minds into the meld, gently not wanting to hurt either of them. As he became wrapped in her mind, he called. "Saavik."

No answering reply. Before, her actual presence lay a distance away but easy to find. This time, he heard only the void.

"Saavik."

He sensed her; of course he did, she surrounded him here in her mind. But the actual ember of life, the part that was not physical brain but her, was nowhere.

"Saavik, answer me."

Nothing. He pushed out further, feeling lost with no direction but the one from which he came. Where was she? What kept her away?

"Saavik!" He waited, unsure if he was more impatient or alarmed by her silence. As always, he blamed his human side for this, not seeing even an Elder's control would be tested by all that happened in the last few days. "If you do not answer, I am forced to go further into this... disconnection. Do you understand the risk?"

From somewhere came the briefest hint of awareness. He pushed further. "If you need me to bring you out, I will. If I do not hear your response in the next fifteen seconds, I will come for you. Understand I only wait to not jeopardize us needlessly. Depend on it, I am coming."

Like a breeze, a sigh whispered by. _Your attempts at manipulation are transparent, Spock._

Relieved, he replied wryly, "So is your effort to hide. Let me see you."

He felt her reluctance as stars formed in the void. Their appearance was bewildering, but hers wasn't. She was dressed in a simple gray robe, kneeling amongst the worlds and pinpoints of light. It was so good to see her like this, uninjured... beautiful, until he noticed the flatness in her eyes.

"You must go, Spock."

He knelt on one knee next to her. "What is it?" She stayed silent. "Something troubles you. Tell me."

She was here and yet still remained at a distance. 

"I know Sarek said something to you to cause this. You know you can tell me."

Her eyes pinched shut and he suddenly realized what it had to be. He controlled his sharp, initial reaction aimed at his father and instead tenderly held out his two fingers. With this simulated physical gesture, he transmitted the wealth of sentiment behind it. She opened her eyes and looked with -- longing? sadness? -- at him, but did not touch him.

His hand wavered. "Do you reject me?" He was surprised at how small his voice sounded and the hurt if she rebuffed him.

Since he didn't expect it, he didn't control it, and she sensed it all around them. Her eyes a combination of softness with the ache still behind it, she touched her fingers to his and he encircled them with his hand.

He steadied himself for what he was about to say. "I know what my father said to you." She was taken aback, and he folded his other hand around hers as well. "He told you that you were pregnant, didn't he? And that you miscarried?"

He understood the held back tears that made her eyes shine, but not the relief that darted in for a half second and then was gone. Not until he realized he felt a small bit of relief himself, a release that they could finally comfort each other.

But he was wrong; that was not her reason. He couldn't know the talk with Sarek made her question again if she was bringing about his death through T'Pau, and she was relieved he hadn't discovered it.

She covered his hands with her free one. "He told me I miscarried, but I already knew I was pregnant. I overheard the medtech tell you, but the words were broken and I did not know the child was gone."

Fatigue weighed heavily on Spock. He was pushing past his limits trying to save Saavik, captain his ship, and lead an underground. Otherwise, he might better check his mood. "I thought I stopped you from hearing about the pregnancy. I wanted you spared." He remembered his father's part in this and didn't bother curbing his sharpness. "Sarek had to tell you the rest, didn't he?"

But her words were still soft. "Yes, he did. I was caught in a nightmare because I couldn't sense the baby any longer. Someone had to tell me."

"I should have told you. I would have if I had known you had heard."

He was so tired. It was pulling at him, the way -- the way it had at her last night, when she fell asleep while sitting upright, fighting against it. He leaned down and lay his forehead on their joined hands. He didn't care about being in control or appearing strong. Not here. He didn't need to here.

Her whole presence around him wavered, and then some barrier broke and he felt her warmth draw closer. She curved around him so they nestled together, her head atop of his and their hands pressed between his cheek and her chest. For the first time since Thieurrull, they were together.

"We had a child," he whispered.

"I know," she murmured back.

And just like their time on Thieurrull, their child lasted only days. Forget what trouble they'd have raising an infant in this world with so much against them. The miscarriage was an open wound reminding them of the possibility for what they had and that it was gone.

Spock blamed himself. With all his power, he couldn't build a safe life for them, couldn't keep the Empire from intruding. Why not? His counterpart in the Federation could give Saavik so much more than this daily struggle.

They were so closely linked, she heard him without words. "We don't know if I have a counterpart or what she is like. No doubt, she has never fought a day in her life." He felt her bitterness just on the edge around them. "She is probably well coddled and spoiled." 

"He can still give her more than I can give you. I couldn't even keep our child alive more than a few days."

The sudden, strident sound of shouted jeers and challenges made him fling his eyes open and he vaulted to his feet. They were at the bottom of a deep hole, just wide enough for them. The dirt sides crumbled where someone had tried to climb out. Above, outlined forms against a cruel sun heaved more insults down on them.

"What happened?" he asked. Her back was to him where she still kneeled on the ground. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the body of a small, dead Romulan to the side: one of the opponents from this round in the Pit. "Did you create this?"

"Yes, inadvertently." Her voice was low. "My control is improving, but my subconscious still sends me places. I warned you to go."

She sounded so lifeless, he came over to see what was wrong. She created star fields out of voids. She didn't have to stay here.

A baby lay exposed, naked to the harsh sunlight except for a rag fixed around its hips. One look told him it was dead, and yet she still held it in her hands. 

With a thumb, she brushed dark hair around a small, pointed ear. "I did this."

His head jerked up at her words. _A memory?_ he wondered. Had she been forced to kill an infant once?

She rose unsteadily and the baby lolled. He hurriedly reached up to take the small body before it fell. Her hands still lay out flat, shockingly covered with green blood.

"I did this." She still sounded listless, but her eyes -- in her eyes, he saw condemnation and self-loathing. "Not you. I killed our child, Spock."

The baby in his hands: theirs? "Saavik—"

"You were right. You told me to wait and I didn't. And I killed our child." She dug her fingers into her palms, the blood marking her further. "I _should_ have died with it."

The instability he was warned about -- she was right; her subconscious forced her into a living nightmare. He had to give her a focus to get out. 

He carefully laid down the body he held, not stopping to analyze why he bothered to cradle the head until it lay on the ground. Or wonder why he took off his jacket and covered the form respectfully.

When he had to wrench himself away from the makeshift grave, he knew he had to do the same for her. She was fixated on that spot forcing him to grab her chin and pull her to face him.

"Take us out of here."

The Pit shimmered into waves of surreal colors and then solidified again. She closed her eyes, in concentration he first thought, but when he saw his jacket on the ground, still covering the baby, he closed his eyes too.

He put his hands like blinders on her face and stared deep into her. "Look at me. Only me."

She gazed back and when they both could look at each other without their eyes darting back to the hidden, little body, he said, "Get us out of here."

Slowly, the star field came back around them, although he noticed Thieurrull over her shoulder like an ugly wraith. He ignored it for now.

"McCoy kept the news of your pregnancy from us while he told Kirk," he began. "You did not know you were pregnant when you went into that banquet room." He held up her bloodied hands by the wrists. "Do not take the blame for what our enemies did. Clean these."

She struggled visibly, not so easily convinced that she shouldn't have known, until her head came up sharply. "Kirk knew I was pregnant?"

Confused by her sudden anger, he nodded. "Yes."

"Then he knew what he was doing when his guards attacked me."

Spock's chest constricted tight and his grip on her wrists pinched, but she made no protest, as caught up as he was in what she just said. The point never occurred to him and now when he looked back at the _alliance_ he made with Kirk, his stomach clenched painfully.

"I do not know," he finally answered. His voice caught on itself. "McCoy may have told him later when he returned to the ship."

__

Or he knew and sat across that chessboard elated at what he had done. Which tormented him more? That he had not saved the child or that his enemy sat there possibly laughing at him at having murdered it?

The blood on her hands trickled down on his fingers. He jerked away. Illogical to let phantoms bother him so much -- illogical that Saavik even created the image of their dead child. But it upset him as much as it did her.

Impulsively, he stripped off his shirt and wiped the blood off both their hands, and flung the shirt far away. He then took in a lungful of air and exhaled slowly.

"We are the victims," he told her, but he used it to clean his own conscience. "Not the criminals. I will not take on their guilt."

She threaded her fingers once more into his and they just held on to each other, mourning. 

She spoke at length, still subdued. "Tell me everything."

He did, from the moment he heard about her near death to the alliances he made and the debts he collected, up to the tribunal which he went into in detail. He tried not to falter as he explained why he aligned with Kirk, but although it was hard for her to hear, she made no accusations. The only thing he didn't tell her fully was his deal with Archernar, not because he avoided her fighting with him -- which she would -- but because he was dealing with enough without adding the problem of her leaving him. He only told her he had a contingency plan should the trial find against her, a place and an ally where she could stay safely. If it had to happen, he only hoped she'd forgive him someday.

When he finished and she didn't press for the particulars in his plan, he knew she had something else.

She did. "Now tell me how you are safe from T'Pau when you weren't before?"

This argument? She swore she'd do nothing without word from him. Why bring back this old quarrel?

Sarek.

"What did my father say to you?"

She was exasperated and didn't bother hiding it. "I asked him if T'Pau still planned to kill you if you defended me. He didn't answer, but he couldn't hide his fears, not in here. So answer me. Are you in danger?"

He was just as annoyed. "T'Pau either finds in favor for you or I remove you from the scene. If I have to, I will fake your death. Either way, the situation is satisfied without risking my life. Now answer _me_. You swore to fight for your life. Did my father tell you something that makes you go back on that promise?"

The fact that she didn't say anything and kept herself carefully composed answered him.

He took her firmly by the elbows. "Swear to me you will not sacrifice yourself."

She laid her hands along his arms. "If you will give your word you will do the same."

"Agreed. The promise then is we fight for both of us to come out alive." She hesitated, wondering if he hid something from her, if he minimized T'Pau's threat to his own safety. He counted on her innate trust of him to keep her from seeing the truth as she would in an enemy. "Saavik?"

Her hands clasped his arms more tightly, then relaxed. "Agreed."

His head fell back in release from the strain. Ironically, they were back now to their first meeting and her first mission on the _Enterprise_ when she swore, "You die, I die. You live, I'm free."

"Then our conflict is almost over," he said. "We need only—"

He broke off, seeing how she was faced with his bare chest and that she eyed it with more than a little appreciation.

He stepped back. "Saavik, not now."

"I only admired the view," and then with more softness, "and enjoyed the familiarity." 

The familiarity: this was the first time they freely touched outside of pon farr. "I am not a prude—"

She vaulted her eyebrows mockingly.

"—but we have an audience outside of here, and I do not want to return to knowing glances because your heart monitor climbed."

"Such conceit. Besides, I thought I was in healing sleep. It keeps my heart rate low."

Her lightness dimmed. "Spock, how long will I be like this? The instability? Can I come out of it?"

He wished he hadn't stepped away. "Tomorrow, Sagar will give you the rest of the necessary medical treatments."

"If T'Pau finds in favor of your arguments. Correct?" They both knew the answer. She looked off in the distance. "In case that's true, I need to show you something."

The environment changed again, but before it solidified, she gave him a look of warning.

The banquet room in Warbase 5 or so he gathered from the wall of people in front of him. Kirk on the outside of the circle just starting to push in and Sarek leaning over a Vulcan woman Spock didn't know.

Saavik was pulling him gently into the circle. Uniformed guards beating someone -- her. Their fists and boots, the butts of some of the phasers, all stained green.

The Saavik of this memory was pulling to her feet when Sulu kicked her hard in the abdomen. His Saavik stared at him significantly.

Spock nodded. "I will take care of it."

She swept them away back to space.

He should go. But she seemed so... alone. And what would her subconscious do without him to focus on?

"Someone is always with you," he said hesitantly. "Next to your bed in Sickbay. I thought you should know."

She inclined her head. "Good."

He searched for something else to say when her mouth tipped at the corners. "It's all right, Spock. I will be here when you return."

Around them, stars grew distant until they became the night sky above Vulcan. He stood with Saavik on one of his favorite vistas in a memory he had given her. They stood bathed in the blue-white light of evening with T'Kuht, Vulcan's sister world, hanging low in close orbit.

She moved closer to the cliff point where they stood and gazed out across the desert. "And I have all of Vulcan to explore while I wait for you."

He reached out and cupped her face, caressing the sensitive points under his hands as she rested against them. He allowed his link with his body to draw him away with this image in his mental eye.


	8. 

**Chapter 8**

Very early the next morning, the Vulcan guard Savoruf stood once more in place on the right hand side of Saavik's bed. Soluk was on the opposite side, idly watching as T'Mes spoke in quite tones to the woman deep in healing sleep. Savoruf was trying very hard not to look at the unconscious woman, and especially not at the twisted, damaged hands or the still visible marks on her exposed skin. He _tried_ not to look at her, but he found himself constantly doing so, and hurting for her each time by the injuries.

He brought his attention back to other things, mundane things, to keep his poise, such as how this helmet was pinching his ears and his hair at the back of his neck. He knew Spock's reasons for ordering the guard into heavier armor, and it didn't seem to bother Soluk who appeared sharp. He probably didn't stay up most of the night either, turning over and over this unusual duty while Savoruf had done just that, wondering again how he was convinced to be here.

He wished, for the first time, he had someone like Soluk's Vulcan discipline.

Carefully, he felt the signaling device in his right palm, under the concealing protective glove. Today, in a few hours, he'd know if that device was going to call him into action. Until then, he'd stand here as Savoruf, loyal member of Spock's personal guard. If called, he'd be who he really was and put his plan into action -- correction, not _his_ plan, the one given him. If the device didn't signal, he was still getting out of here.

For the sake of distraction, he listened to T'Mes as she spoke to Saavik, even though he didn't understand why she did it. Did Saavik hear her? They said Kirk had talked to her and was confident she heard him. Maybe the healing sleep was allowing some of the words to seep in, if Saavik wasn't lost in that instability still.

Savoruf didn't want to think too hard on that last point.

He once more looked over the broken features as T'Mes went on speaking.

"You will want to know the Armageddon presentation went well. The Empress radiated pleasure. The resulting planetary volatility bothered her not at all, precisely as you said. Stron tells me the guard has doubled its security around the captain, something else you will be pleased to hear."

Savoruf barely heard the soft report as he stayed focused on Saavik. He barely knew her and yet-- something about her. He grew conscious again of the signaling device in his palm.

T'Mes took in the way Saavik's injuries affected him. He wondered what his expression showed, because in mute agreement, T'Mes drew the blanket up to Saavik's shoulders, covering the smashed hands. Her face naturally stayed in the open, but this helped.

T'Mes kept talking through the whole thing and he finally understood it was so Saavik knew someone was with her. "With the presentation completed, the science department prepares for new work. An interesting challenge, one you will want to see when you awake."

Savoruf saw a couple medtechs enter the main room in Sickbay. One came up behind T'Mes, someone he hadn't seen before, and withdrew a scanner, playing over Saavik's length. The noise attracted some angry glares their way, from staff and patients alike. Savoruf was confused and asked T'Mes why the hostility.

"Hearsay spread through the ship last night following Spock's visit here. Many speculate Saavik is the Captain's Woman." He wondered if her annoyance was because she found the title offensive or if it was aimed at the people she indicated with a nod of her head. "Those wanting to be Spock's lover have a target now. Dismiss it. It is only petty jealousy."

The medtech put away his scanner and withdrew a hypo. Soluk immediately held out a restraining hand.

"No drugs are administered without Healer Sagar's approval."

The tech frowned, blinking in puzzlement. "Are you sure that order still stands? I got one saying Lieutenant Saavik was back under regular care."

"Let me see this order," Soluk asked. He examined the padd but straight away shook head. "You need the captain's approval on this."

"Look, has anyone else been here this morning?" Soluk shook his head again. "Then she's behind on her medication. Contact the captain and I'll--"

"No," Soluk insisted.

The tech exhaled noisily. "Just let me do my job. I got a long day ahead and I'm not getting screwed by starting off behind schedule!"

"No."

"Look, pointed ears!"

Savoruf saw the other medtech start across the room, but he almost missed the phaser as it slid down the woman's sleeve into her hand.

"It's an attack," he called to Soluk and pulled his phaser. He took out the other medtech easily, but a commotion materialized at the door and a squad of guards poured in.

The first tech pulled a scalpel, swiping at Soluk and then trying to plunge the hypo into Saavik. But the scalpel only caught Soluk's heavy glove and he grabbed the tech's head, applying tal'shaya so swiftly, the medtech was dead on the ground with a broken neck before he made another move.

Savoruf caught this peripherally, busily firing into the doorway trying to snare the attacking squad before they could rush in the room. In a second, he heard Soluk firing with him. They moved simultaneously to the edge of Saavik's bed, forming a barrier, but it left them in the open.

Soluk picked up his dead victim, using the body as a shield as they had on Thieurrull, and Savoruf hurriedly did the same with the woman he shot moments before. But the bodies would last only so long before destroyed.

A dagger sailed past them into the chest of an attacker. T'Mes. But not being a guard, she did not carry a phaser with her permanently. "I'll summon Stron!" she called above the fire.

"No!" Soluk called back. "Do not divert security from the captain!"

"They want the diversion!" Savoruf exclaimed. "From Spock by attacking Saavik! Warn them!"

T'Mes pulled the private communicator from Soluk's sash, but Savoruf was too busy to watch her. The body in his hands was disintegrating from the blasts and he heaved it at their enemy. What to use now?

He dashed out a few feet and seized a medcart, spinning it sideways for maximum coverage, and hurried back in place in front of Saavik's bed.

If he wasn't so close to Soluk, he'd never have heard the low grunt. Risking a glance, he saw the burning mark on Soluk's shoulder. "Can you--?"

Soluk shifted his phaser from his useless hand to the other and kept firing.

Incredibly, the noise got louder and it came from outside the door. Their attackers shouted, a few of them whirling in the other direction, and Savoruf realized reinforcements were here.

Stuck in the crossfire, the remaining squad members fell swiftly, the last one deliberately only injured, but still downed by Soluk.

Savoruf checked Saavik while his fellow guard crossed to the wounded enemy. She still slept deeply, miraculously unhurt -- further wounded, Savoruf amended. _All this is not from Spock's would be lovers. Who then?_

He knew T'Pau was talking to Spock at this moment in the concluding tribunal. He felt the slight cut where the signaling device sliced him during the fighting.

A scream broke his eyes away from Saavik and he whirled around, phaser up.

Soluk's fingers pressed deeply against the temple and jaw of the wounded man, his face calm while his victim's was distorted in agony. Another scream punctuated the air before Soluk dropped the man to the deck, unconscious.

"Who sent them?" T'Mes asked.

He didn't get to answer. Security, not personal guard, rushed in from the door with no warning, weapons already aimed. Behind them, pushing the bodies out of the way with his boot, came Kirk.

He saw Savoruf's drawn weapon. "Put it away."

Savoruf searched for the Andorian woman that was supposed to be on their side. She wasn't there. He looked to Soluk who nodded. He holstered the phaser and eyed the number of Security people. They were badly outnumbered.

Kirk gestured to someone in the hall and McCoy walked in, remarking loudly in disgust about the condition of Sickbay. Kirk slapped him lightly on the chest and jerked his head at Saavik. "Get to it."

Quite some time before, Spock waited in the briefing room, hands steepled in front of him as he kept quiet and composed. Soon, T'Pau would link to the viewscreen and give her judgement. He could no more but deal with the outcome. 

Without turning his head, he glanced out of the corner of his eye at his father. He hadn't seen Sarek look so drawn since Amanda had died. His eyes seemed hollowed, sunken in his head, and his shoulders sagged under some weight. He had said he did not know T'Pau's decision because she choose to keep her own counsel after asking a few questions.

He sensed Spock's gaze and looked over. Spock snapped his eyes ahead.

"My son."

Spock leaned his mouth on his steepled fingers as if deep in thought. "Father," he mumbled.

"Spock," Sarek began and then stopped. "If the worst happens, I want you to accept my support and remember nothing is gained by losing yourself."

Not knowing how to reply, Spock rubbed his index fingers against the tense lines on the bridge of his nose. "Are you saying--"

"I will do whatever it takes to save you."

Still without facing his father, he asked, "Save me. No one else?"

Silence.

"Because I am your heir."

"Because you are my son and we are all that is left."

Spock dropped his hands into his lap. He looked without seeing the items on his table, looked across to the blank viewscreen where T'Pau would appear, looked everywhere but at Sarek. "Why can you not accept my choice?"

"Because Saavik means your death."

"And if that were not the way it was?"

Silence again.

"You know she is still alive."

Was that a sigh? "Yes."

He picked up a stylus, laid it down again, and straightened it to a precise right angle to his padd. "You did tell Saavik about the miscarriage, and it saved us the pain of having to tell the other. You didn't intend the compassion, but it was there nonetheless."

At length, Sarek said hesitantly, "She is devoted to you." Another long pause. "Will you accept my help?"

"I have no desire to die, Father. But your help cannot be priced with Saavik's life."

A second, then another, and another. Spock thought he heard the circuitry in the lights, in the door, into the corridor and down to the lift as he strained in wait for Sarek's response.

"Agreed."

He steepled his hands again and placed the fingers to his lips. He whispered as if to himself, "Most kind, Father."

A chime on the table signaled T'Pau was transmitting. Spock rose to his feet and a moment later, the viewscreen came to life. He raised his hand in salute.

She returned it. "I will be brief, Spock."

His own words repeated. But neither her expression nor her words gave indication to what she had decided.

"You made an impressive argument, Spock, and I commend your logic. Of your points, I disregard your refusal as witness and victim to bring charges against Saavik. By law, your family has the right to bring charges for you and as matriarch for our bloodline, I do so. I also set aside your point regarding the bioweapon. As Sarek expressed to me, your witness could not confirm Romulans are not affected by the weapon, and therefore Saavik may be a victim through that half of her genome."

Spock understood now why Saavik so often cursed. He wanted to; Sarek was not fooled by Archernar's evasive answer.

"However," T'Pau said, "I cannot disregard your other points. Saavik is disowned by the Romulan Empire, her biological connection not enough to gain her the right to be one of their people. Moreover, she is an Imperial citizen and is protected under its law."

Spock could not believe it. T'Pau was not throwing out his whole contention. He still had a chance. He concentrated so hard on what she said, Stron had to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention. Only then did he understand his guard had been calling him repeatedly.

"Sir," Stron started, holding his personal communicator.

"Not now, Mr. Stron. My apologies for the interruption, T'Pau."

She regarded the interference with a heavy frown, but Stron would not give up. "Sir, you must listen."

He turned up the volume on the communicator and Spock heard T'Mes barely through what sounded like phaser fire.

"-- repeat, we are under attack. An unknown squad of guards entered Sickbay--"

__

Saavik.

But if he didn't let T'Pau finish... "I apologize again, but my people need--"

She raised an eyebrow. "Surely you have more than these few people, Spock. Can no one else go to their aid?"

As if she arranged it, a new call came over the communicator. "Do not, repeat, do not remove security from the captain. He is to stay secure. Send reinforcements, but do not compromise Captain Spock."

He thought of the number of people at his command while he was the only one T'Pau would give her judgement to. The logical decision was clear. He clamped his teeth against each other hard. "Send a squad to help," he ordered. "Send two if necessary. And keep me informed."

Stron didn't like it, but backed off, issuing rapid fire commands into the communicator.

"May I continue?" T'Pau asked. He nodded tersely and waited. "As I was saying, as a non-Romulan and an Imperial national, I cannot find Saavik guilty of violating a law meant only for Romulans. Therefore, the execution order is rescinded and the loss of your child will be recorded in the House records. Also, if you require one of our healers to cure the remaining damage on the woman who saved the lives of your father and yourself, one will be sent to rendezvous with your ship."

He made no action, none, not even simply closing his eyes, to show the impact this had. He won. He couldn't take it in. He won. And in that moment, to his greater surprise, he turned to his father who appeared as taken aback as his son.

"Nonetheless," T'Pau proclaimed, "I see by your logic the answer to another question, this one regarding Saavik's claim to a Vulcan citizenship."

He held his breath.

"By your evidence, Saavik is not a Romulan despite her being of Romulan blood. Accordingly, I cannot acknowledge her as a Vulcan. Using your own argument, if her Romulan parent cannot make her a Romulan, her Vulcan parent cannot make her Vulcan. The High Council consequently will not accept any claim from her on our people."

Punishment. He had told Saavik he thought he knew what punishment was when Vulcan -- and the Graysons -- kept Amanda and Sarek from marrying. His parents had defied that punishment by remaining together, but it didn't change the fact they were forbidden all they wanted.

He told himself he'd won the bigger battle. The execution order was cancelled. And the _kae'at k'lasa_ law never would apply to Saavik again. But at this moment, he understood what his parents' punishment truly was.

Vulcan would never accept Saavik, never take her in, and never acknowledge her. And he gave them the argument to do it.

"Spock."

He could not look at T'Pau because she would see his defeat. He would not give her that.

Stron returning gave him a chance to regroup. "Sir, I am not sure what to make of this, but -- you have a call from Sickbay."

Even T'Pau frowned in confusion as Spock, with permission, split the viewscreen in half to bring in Sickbay. He expected T'Mes or Soluk. He got Kirk.

"Greetings!" Kirk exclaimed, smiling broadly. "I apologize for interrupting what's going on in there, but this is my flagship, you see, in the service of the Empress. You do understand who that is, I take it."

He grinned, daring one of them to speak against him. "Of course you do. And _our_ Empress wants to know why the hell this ship is still circling this Warbase. And quite frankly, that's your fault. So in an effort to get out on schedule, I thought I'd help things along."

He glanced over his shoulder and ordered the Security officers out of the way. They stepped over bodies scattered on the floor, and as they cleared the area, Spock saw they had blocked Saavik's bed.

Saavik... with McCoy standing by her head. Spock felt control over the situation slipping further from him.

"Admiral, I will be--"

"Now personally, I don't give a damn about whatever it is you're debating about in there, but it's holding me back. We made --" Kirk stopped and pointed a finger at T'Mes. Coolly, she gave her name. "T'Mes patch in through Spock's communicator system. And I had McCoy wake Saavik out of this healing trance and listen to what was said."

Spock put his hands behind his back and clasped them hard together. "Admiral, Saavik is _not_ in a condition to be awaken. You risk further damage--"

Kirk's smile died away. "You're not listening. This ship is leaving _now_ which means whatever this goddamned game is ends _now_!"

T'Pau drew up at the affront. "You dare?"

His nostrils flared as he reigned himself in. It took almost a full minute before he plastered his smile, strained this time, back on his face. He held his hands out in a shrug. "I have my orders, you can understand that. The Empress wants this ship to go, it goes. You have a problem with that, that's your right, and you can take it up with her, but I'd think you'd be happy -- excuse the expression -- to get this --whatever it is -- settled. I'm giving you what you want."

T'Pau leaned forward, judging carefully, before nodding once. "Proceed."

"T'Pau," Spock interjected, "I must point out--"

"We will see where this leads, Spock. If it is ill advised, I will halt it immediately."

"No need," Kirk said. He snapped his fingers at McCoy who raised the head of the bed. Saavik's face came into view, her color horrible, and her head almost fallen to her shoulder. Spock watched helpless as McCoy injected a hypo and Kirk hitched a hip on the foot of her bed.

"Now then, Lieutenant," he said. "You heard what T'Pau said earlier when she gave ruling. You got a reply?"

Her eyelids fluttered open, and her eyes rolled, focused briefly, and then her eyelids shut again.

"She cannot do this!" Spock protested. "Even if she is awake, with the injuries and medication, she is not of sound mind."

"Sure, she is," Kirk argued. "Aren't you, Lieutenant? C'mon." He snapped his fingers again, loud in her ear. "What do you have to say?"

She lay as if dead and Spock caught himself checking the monitor levels, reassuring himself. The indicators showed close to normal, but she stayed non-responsive.

__

She has no focus to pull her mental state together. Perhaps with Sagar's help but this way?

Kirk leaned up on the bed to curse at the doctor. "Goddamn it, she was awake before! What happened?"

Saavik's face spasmed in pain suddenly, and excitedly, Kirk got even closer. The spasm deepened, and Spock abruptly caught that the admiral was unknowingly lying on Saavik's hand, causing her agony.

"Admiral!"

Kirk looked back to the screen, shifting his weight. Saavik convulsed again, and Spock forced down his impotency to help from this distance, and the hostility that rose up because of it.

__

Pain is the focus. He made himself remember that. _All Vulcans coming out of healing sleep and such deep trances use pain as a focus._

In reality, this was no worse, he tried to convince himself, than if a healer struck her across the face to bring her out.

Except it was worse to think of those hands hurt more and to know she had to pull out of something far stronger than the healing trance by itself.

T'Mes bent over Saavik, muttering something.

Spock took this as a chance to implore, "T'Pau, this is not working. We obviously need Sagar--"

She held up a hand. Something in Saavik brought that gesture for him to wait.

Her mouth parted, extremely slowly, her lips reluctant to break apart after dried together for so long. Spock noticed a small cloth in McCoy's hand flecked with dark green. He must have used it to clean her mouth.

She worked at saying something, but the effort appeared too much. She fell back again and just as Spock was about to beg T'Pau again, Saavik labored to say a word. It creaked out, her whole body pushing it out: "... acc-ep-ted..."

She was taking the punishment.

Kirk turned back towards the viewscreen. "Good enough?"

T'Pau sat heavily back in her divan chair. "We are adjourned."

She locked glances with Spock, measuring what? She bowed her head, slowly, and keeping her head down for a beat as if hiding her eyes while she pondered something, but she faced him again before he could decide what that something was.

"Peace and long life, Spock." The transmission was cut.

He gave it no more thought as he focused as completely on Sickbay as the viewscreen now took it up. He took note again of the number of bodies strewn about, and started giving orders to Stron when he heard the guard's call into his communicator instructing squads to secure the halls from the briefing room to Sickbay. Spock left without any further waste of time, and it wasn't until later that he realized he hadn't said anything in parting to Sarek.

They were almost out of the lift when the call came from Fathiyya that Kirk had ordered a further Security detail; she wasn't told why. Even with the squad of his personal guard present with him and in the corridor, Spock felt dangerously exposed. Did he dare risk a confrontation?

He exchanged a significant glance with Stron who immediately signaled quietly on the personal system. If all went well, either T'Mes still had Soluk's or she had given it back, and the signal could be answered safely. It took a moment, text display only:

We are safe, but hasten.

That must be T'Mes. With no further hesitation, Spock rushed to Sickbay.

Almost colliding with the Empress. The number of guards should have warned him, but it wasn't until he saw her that he saw her inner Defense retinue. All the rest were from _Enterprise_.

Kirk was smiling smugly, both in the coupe of having the Empress here and keeping it from Spock. Grinding in, as usual, his superior position and rank. Spock folded his arms behind him and drew himself to full attention. His eyes darted to Saavik; she was unconscious again.

The Imperial monarch was in turn urging Kirk in his display. She wasn't a beautiful woman, but her strong features hinted at a time when she was striking. Her deep purple eyes hit like a hammer with the force of her personality, and her body, hidden by the elegant, diaphanous dress, was muscular and as tall as Spock was. The dress and jewelry also concealed the weapons she always bore, never satisfied to leave her safety completely in the hands of others. Three of her rings hid hypos for poisons, a fourth contained acid. Every bit of her, from the graying black hair to her large, well-shod feet, was forged from the iron battle it took her to reach the pinnacle of the Empire.

She and Kirk were laughing over something when Spock came in, and as Kirk silently rubbed his advantage over the Vulcan, she glanced about the room without much interest.

"You will get this fleet out immediately, won't you, James?" She said it like a coo, but it was a hard warning and they all knew it.

Kirk smiled easily. "The moment you are safely aboard your own transport," as if it were a luxury yacht instead of a Slayer class destroyer with a compliment of other warships, "unless, of course, you wish to come along?"

"If only I could. Such fun, I'm sure, but I do have a number of tedious duties to take care of." 

With her so enthralled with Kirk, Spock took this opportunity to edge closer to Saavik's bed, but unfortunately, the Empress' dispassionate glance passed about the room, and suddenly stopped where he was with McCoy, T'Mes, and the two guards, Soluk and Savoruf, all in attendance.

"And the reason for all this?" she demanded. Saavik was receiving more attention at the moment than her monarch and that would never do.

Astonishingly, Kirk answered. "My science officer here on the _Enterprise_."

"Looks like you'll be replacing her."

"Not necessarily, but Captain Spock is more intimate with the details than me, aren't you, Captain?"

Spock came back to stand before the Empress, face impassive, but he knew the barb Kirk threw with the word intimate. "Lieutenant Saavik's condition improves. At this point, she only needs physical therapy and cosmetic surgery." He only caught a glimpse of McCoy rolling his eyes.

"Cosmetic? Well thank goodness she's not always as bad as this."

"Oh, she's a beauty," Kirk said smoothly, "nothing in comparison to you, of course."

"Really?" she drawled. "Someone I'd find attractive?" Everyone knew the Empress' taste in lovers ran to both genders.

"Now, would I give myself another rival for your affections?" Kirk played with her. Spock grew increasingly tired of the display from both of them. "But I have heard women comment on Saavik's looks."

"Hmmm-- interesting." Suddenly the coquettish air vanished, and the Empress pinned Kirk and Spock down under her command. "But you have not told me why all this fuss over one woman. If her looks have gotten to one of you and my resources--" Of course, she'd see them as her resources even if this was one Sickbay out of how many in Starfleet, "are being spent on one of your mistresses--"

Spock ignored Kirk's leer from behind the Empress' back just as he'd disregarded McCoy's rolling eyes. "The lieutenant is the head of the Armageddon Torpedo team. If she is salvageable," he pushed the word past his lips, "I prefer having her on the bridge for our next targets."

"And," Kirk added, "she's the one who brought me the details on Cartwright. Her injuries here came from that fight."

Spock couldn't believe what he just heard. Kirk helped justify Saavik's medical attention. In fact, he abruptly realized Kirk brought the Empress to this ship, not _Excelsior_.

"So this was a joint effort?" she asked.

"Mr. Spock and I have an alliance," Kirk answered, making Spock once more doubt his ears. Kirk stared significantly at the Vulcan. He was living up to his word and Spock had better do no less.

"The effort, however, was led by the admiral," Spock carefully answered. He remembered his own doubts about those events, but this wasn't the time to ask.

"So it's understood that we share personnel when we need to. I can borrow Saavik anytime I want," Kirk finished, sending an equally considerable glance for a different reason at Spock who raised an eyebrow in return and very slightly, so as not to draw the Empress' attention, shook his head. Kirk grinned back at him. "Whatever it takes to serve you, my Empress."

"As long as you know your priorities," she replied. She cupped Kirk's face. "You will take care of the Klingons for me, won't you, James?"

He smiled into her palm. "No one hunts them better."

Their flirtation disappeared for their real enjoyment as two predators for the kill. "Narendra III first, James," she instructed. "Give the Klingons just a taste of my exasperation with them. If they don't take the hint to withdraw their loathsome presence from my border, strike the larger targets."

She turned again to Spock, the pleasure gone. "And no more delays, am I quite clear, Captain? Whatever you were doing this morning will not keep this Fleet from leaving on time. You did give him my warning," she asked Kirk.

"Unnecessary," he replied and once more tossed an opportunity to save himself to Spock.

"That matter has been resolved," Spock answered. "And would not stop me from following your orders." _To aggravate the Klingons into who knows how large a conflict._

"As long as I'm not getting any more calls from that bitch, T'Pau," she ordered, "and you get out of here to get things done."

Spock wanted nothing less than to stand in the space between the Empress and T'Pau. He might as well step on a landmine. He tried to form words to assuage both the faraway presence of the Vulcan matriarch and the immediate presence of the Imperial monarch when he saw she was looking past him, interested in something behind his shoulder. _Typical_, he thought. Her focus was as fleeting as her favoritism.

Not so. 

"This morning's matter was my doing," a deep voice came behind him. 

Spock turned with everyone else. _Father, why...?_ And he recalled Sarek's words: "If the worst happens, I want you to accept my support..." Obviously, Sarek thought his son in trouble with the Empress.

He moved forward directly in front of Spock so his shoulder overlapped his son's while his personal security mixed with the others already present. The room was getting crowded. 

He bowed his head respectfully. "A matter pertaining to Vulcan and our House. I needed Spock's attention. However, we were never in doubt he was needed for his duties to the Empire."

It was astonishing to see the change Sarek's presence wrought on the Empress. She grew slick under his attention and her flirtation differed from that she gave Kirk. It projected her intentions while searching if he reflected it back.

Spock noted the change dryly. _Father is the thing she cannot have and therefore, tries everything to obtain._ He peeked at Sarek, not wanting to see if his father turned as lascivious as Kirk in his attention. He didn't; he stayed the way he always was, and Spock wondered how he could stay master of such a game.

"Of course, Sarek, if you found it necessary. I do not question your loyalty. I can certainly understand your attention to family." As if she had a maternal instinct, she simpered, "Why, I myself am taking a direct interest in my niece's education. She should turn out quite well."

"Are you naming her heir?" Sarek asked politely.

"And have the little brat plan my assassination?" 

__

So much for family attention, Spock thought.

"Besides, she's a child still. It'll be a few years before she can be of any use. And then only if she can raise her expectations past that of being a broodmare." A look of utter disgust crossed the Empress' face. "I have turned her out of range of my hearing more than once for her babbling about future generations. As if I have time for such juvenile debates as her plans for a fleet of daughters named things like Perrin and other ridiculous names to begin with."

"It depends on the person who bears it," Sarek answered. 

She came out of her tirade undoubtedly thinking she ruined her attempt to garner his attraction through her display of familial bonding. "Quite so. In any case, you will see her around the palace one day, Sarek. After all, as you pointed out, we must make time for family, even taking the moment to see them for what they are and can be." And with the sudden change in focus typical of her, her eyes traveled from Sarek to Spock with new appraisal. If she could not have the father...

Spock took a step further behind Sarek. 

"We are fortunate for your generosity," Sarek said to her. "However, I do not want to hinder you further."

"Quite correct. This ship cannot leave until I do. Oh, one more thing. Sarek, that Vulcan that arranged the Romulan prisoner exchange, I want him rewarded. Sending those animals back to their Emperor with eyewitness testimony for what I can do makes me very happy."

As Sarek promised to reward Sumic, Spock reassessed his original idea about the commandant. Perhaps he had made a real enemy after all. First T'Pau and now Sumic: Spock wondered whom else he would give evidence to use against him.

The Empress whisked past them in a grand exit, favoring only a few with her passing regard. "Remember my bidding, James. Sarek, if you would escort me to my ship."

Kirk frowned darkly at being passed over, but could do nothing about it. Most likely, he didn't appreciate how Sarek managed to avoid touching her with a bow and an extended arm gesturing that the Empress should proceed him. But Spock marveled anew.

Kirk almost bolted after them, but Spock held up a hand stopping him.

"A moment, Admiral. If you were so willing to stand by our alliance, why then," he pointed to the pile of dead men, "this first attack?"

Kirk scowled. "They're not mine. I got here after it was all over. I heard the shots and kept Security with me, and then sent another squad to escort the Empress."

Spock turned on McCoy and singled out the dead medtechs on the floor. The doctor snorted. "Not mine."

Soluk cleared his throat. "Sir, I interrogated one of the enemy. Captain Terrell sent them. But the medtechs struck early and it hurt their plan."

"There you go," Kirk said. "Take it up with Terrell."

"You have no objections, no alliances with him?"

"None. Kill him if you want, I don't care. Let Kyle have the _Reliant_."

"If I'd rather it go to Mr. Chekov?"

Kirk blew out a loud breath. "See if this is clear enough -- I don't give a damn. Now get out of the way."

"Two more things, Admiral." Spock saw he was pressing the limit. "Do you have an alliance with Sulu? I have a matter requiring my retribution for his actions. If so, does it hurt our agreement?"

Kirk chewed his lip. The fact he thought about it told Spock he did have a pact with Sulu and was weighing which way to go. "Don't kill him. Can you do that and still pay him back?"

The admiral was giving him his support. Interesting. "Most certainly. Mr. Stron!" The guard stepped forward from his place next to his wife. "I believe you have the files on Demora Sulu, our Captain Sulu's daughter? Arrange this matter for me."

Stron nodded.

Kirk's head reared back in understanding. "I get this now. Tooth for a tooth, eh? All right. You said one more thing. Make it fast. Very fast, Mr. Spock."

Spock lowered his voice. "When did you know Saavik was pregnant? Tell me the truth because I can do nothing against you no matter your answer."

The man was confused and Spock saw the thoughts dancing behind his eyes. "Ah, I see." He curbed his race to get out of there enough to answer sincerely. "I found out when we brought Saavik back to the ship."

"Would it have mattered if you knew before her beating?"

"That's two things, Spock. And no, at that time, I'd have done the same thing."

What else could he expect, Spock wondered. Kirk had no feeling for his own son. Spock's child meant even less. He finally nodded. "You gave me the truth as I asked. It is no surprise."

"Fine then." Kirk made for the door where he'd try to catch up to Sarek, and get between him and the Empress. "We have an alliance, Spock. I gave towards that today. You need to get this ship out of here and on our next mission. You promised power and riches. Time you started delivering them."

The admiral poked his head back in. "By the way, about Sulu. I didn't know you found out about his daughter. We're the only ones who know. Nobody else." He winked. "Nobody."

Spock raised an eyebrow in question, and a second later, rose it higher with comprehension. Kirk left.

McCoy looked up from Saavik. "I'm going to need to run some tests to provide that physical therapy you're so certain about."

Spock came to the other side of her bed. "I said what I needed to. What is your prognosis?"

"I don't know yet. I just got here and I've had too many people with guns running around to get a chance to do any doctoring. And don't bother giving me any more warnings. I heard about Saavik's _promotion_."

Spock's eyebrows drew together. "Promotion?"

"Yeah, Captain's Woman. I can imagine what threats you were about to make. Let's just agree that I won't make anymore mistakes like my previous one and you don't breathe down my neck." He watched Spock nervously. "Agreed?"

__

Captain's Woman-- that explains Terrell's attack. He saw an opportunity to seize Enterprise from me through a weakened target.

Spock examined McCoy's tension, and saw no threats were necessary. "Agreed."

"Then I'll get those tests set up." He turned away.

"Doctor, I suggest that in the future, you bring me news of someone who threatens your neutrality. I am quite able to protect those who help me. And the admiral is now an ally."

Leonard McCoy nodded solemnly. "Deal. And Spock, I am sorry for how it ended up. I don't make war on babies. Now do me a favor. Get these damned bodies and the rest of the gun toters out of my Sickbay."

Savoruf came up next to Spock as the doctor left. "I'm not sure I understand why you haven't killed that one." He looked around the room, but there was only themselves and the dead left. He pulled off the heavy helmet, shaking loose his longer hair, his fingers combing the dark locks that were dyed from their silver color. His bangs fell like spikes in front of his eyes and those snapped merrily at Spock. "I take it I can go, Cousin?"

Spock eyed the Romulan calmly. "Are you finding impersonating a Vulcan more than you thought?"

"Much more! But don't be smug. I have yet to see you play Romulan." Archernar stripped off his gloves and handed back the signaling device. "Glad it wasn't necessary?"

Spock took it and tucked it into his sash. "Very."

The Romulan looked down at the sleeping Saavik and his frivolity sobered. "I envy you, Cousin. I'm beginning to wish for those two centuries of learning about her for myself."

Spock cocked an eyebrow. "She _would_ have killed you. You were right when you first said so."

Archernar grinned. "One of the better deaths I've been offered. Would you give her something for me?"

"No."

"I thought not." He turned back to Spock. "And no refunds, Cousin. I hope you understood that--" His eyes widened in alarm and his hand darted for his phaser.

Spock whirled, signaling Soluk and Stron in the same motion, and the three of them were armed and ready by the time they faced...

... an empty room.

Spock heard a noise from T'Mes and he spun back to see what was wrong.

Archernar held one of Saavik's broken hands with the delicacy of a feather, but the kiss he held on her lips was firmly passionate. He was already pulling away, but Spock didn't see that. He grabbed Archernar by the chest, flinging him from the bed and at arm's length. His dagger hissed out and held to the Romulan's throat. Its razor honed edge glittered malevolently in the sickbay lighting.

Archernar held up his arms in supplication. "Sorry, Cousin. I shouldn't have done it, and if our positions were reversed, maybe you'd have resisted the temptation. But let me go. I stole a moment that you have a lifetime of."

It took real control to reign in and when he did, he almost threw Archernar from him. "Soluk, remove him swiftly. Return him and get Mr. Savoruf back."

At least the Romulan looked honestly sorry, not that Spock cared. "Take care of her, Cousin. Keep her safe." He got no reply. "See that you do," he repeated Spock's earlier warning to him with a grin, "or I will find you."

Soluk pushed him roughly out of the room.

T'Mes and Stron waited still by Saavik who was frowning. From Archernar's kiss, no doubt, and Spock quelled an adolescent reaction of being pleased. When he reached her again, T'Mes and Stron shared a glance, and without speaking, began to move away to a discreet distance.

"T'Mes?" Spock said. She stopped. "What did you say to Saavik earlier? When Kirk was attempting to wake her."

"I said you needed her. She is your Chief Guard, is she not?" Her eyebrows arched on the last statement, plainly amused, but she whispered to him as she moved away, "She asked for you, Captain, when she first awoke."

And then he was alone with her. "Saavik?"

She struggled awake, and he almost let her go back to sleep rather than disturb her, when her eyelids parted enough so he saw a spark of light in them.

"Can you hear me?"

Those eyelids fluttered closed, then open again, and the sliver of eyes just rested on him in silence.

He lay his hand next to hers, afraid of hurting her further. "It is over, Saavik. You are safe. We both are. But you did not have to take T'Pau's punishment. Not for me."

Her eyes fluttered again.

"I am disturbing you. Perhaps I should go."

Her forehead furrowed in displeasure and he exulted in seeing her react. "Perhaps not." He thought of all the things he wanted to tell her and began with her health. "McCoy will be here soon."

She scowled.

"He will make you well or he knows the consequences. Sagar must leave, but I will have another healer come to help with any wounds the instability left."

She wanted to say something and fought against the exhausting task of speaking. He tried to quiet her, but she brushed this agitatedly away.

"Saavik, go back to sleep. You need rest."

She silently formed a word, overemphasizing it so he could read it. 

"Me?"

Her nod was the merest fraction of movement. She formed the same word, looked upset by something, again exaggerating the expression so he clearly read it, and then repeated both things.

"I look bothered? Do not be troubled. I am only concerned for you."

Her hand ever so slightly moved against his and her face instantly reacted to the pain. 

"Don't, Saavik. We will fix your hands, but do not move them now. Why are you trying?"

Her eyes darted around, searching for something, and then sprang back to him with an answer. Slowly, the effort clear, she pushed out in a precise whisper so he needed to duck his head to hear, "X...tm...prs..z..ntw..lfd."

His first name, his self-name. She never used it before, most likely never thought she should, and to hear her say it...

Her fingers moved just enough so he felt them and he tried to fathom what she sought after. And then he knew. He held out his first two fingers and touched them to her cheek. Her eyes closed, worn out from her effort, and satisfied in getting what she wanted.

She had no self-name. Her mother never gave her one and she hadn't picked one for herself. He had a name for her and he leaned close to whisper it, hoping it was not too soon to say it. "T'hyla."

She didn't hear it. She was already deeply asleep. But he had enough answers for now and the patience to wait for others, and so he just watched her slumber.

For the first time, he focused on what they gained by T'Pau's judgement and not what was lost. Which was why Saavik accepted the handed down punishment while he fought against it, but then she was more pragmatic than he was.

He lay his hand on the sensitive points along her face and lightly touched her psi-senses, reassuring himself she actually slept. Then, armed with his personal victories, he made his way for the bridge and whatever new battles the day brought.

**Epilogue**

Two days later found Sulu and Uhura leaving the bridge of the _Excelsior_, headed for his cabin. As soon as the lift doors closed, she spoke. "You heard about Terrell."

He gave a passing thought to the Security pickups in the lift car, but only a passing thought. Sulu's background was Security and he could bypass the microphones with no problem, but nothing about this conversation was secretive.

He smiled evilly. "You don't believe he died from a heart attack?"

She snorted. "Who does? No one's taking the claim, but they might as well what with Chekov being the new captain."

"You think he did it? I didn't think he'd have the nerve."

She scoffed at him with a sideways glance, and Sulu was painfully reminded that she constantly weighed whether he was worthy of her alliance. Or being her lover. He hated her judgements. He was Captain after all, and he got them here, but he didn't want Uhura switching allegiances and using what she knew against him. So, like anytime he felt she didn't go too far, he said nothing about her scoffing now, but someday, he had to rid himself of her. Before she did the same.

"If Chekov was behind Terrell's murder, those Vulcans wouldn't be on _Reliant_ now."

He was surprised and she saw it, smirking at his ignorance and igniting his temper further. But Communications was Uhura's territory and she always found out things before anyone else.

"Which Vulcans?" he asked.

"Stron is the new Chief of Security over there, and T'Mes -- that's his wife -- is Science Officer. They both serve--"

"Spock."

She nodded and smiled, as wicked as him.

Spock killed Terrell and struck a deal with Chekov. In return for putting two of Spock's people in the command staff, the Russian got _Reliant_. And Spock's power base grew to another ship.

Sulu hated the whole thing. What did Kirk think of all this? Why wasn't he shackling Spock like he did before?

The lift doors opened on the officer's deck. Their personal guard was waiting, the hall secure, while they left their previous guard on the bridge to pickup any talk that happened while their backs were turned.

"One good thing, that leaves three openings on _Enterprise_. Who can we get in there without making Spock suspicious?" he asked.

Her grin grew wider. "I already took care of it."

That meant she put her people over there, and he wasn't sitting for that. Uhura had to learn her place before she got delusions of taking the captaincy.

He ducked into his cabin. The computer screen on his desk was turned towards the door, and a whirl of images was going by. He checked the corners of the room, but it was empty. He drew closer to the computer, seeing a date and time stamp in the upper right corner. Yesterday evening. The blur of figures was too closely packed for him to make them out, but he recognized it was an attack. A woman screamed suddenly and raised the hairs on his neck. He'd been a part of too many killings to let watching another bother him, but that voice tugged at his memory.

In a second, the scene changed and the time stamp read ten minutes earlier than it had previously. The image had looped around to the beginning. The room it showed was dark and he couldn't make out where it was, but suddenly Demora passed through, barely visible in the frame being a small child. Right behind her was her mother, and a gloved hand reached out from the darkness and snaked around her mouth.

No head or body other than that arm -- an arm in a Starfleet uniform -- was visible, but a voice reached Sulu's ears, all the more eerie by being masked with a computer synthesizer. "You should pick your lovers more wisely," it said to the struggling woman. "And never have children with people like Hikaru Sulu. He has crimes you and your daughter will pay for."

It was here that the blur of bodies coagulated in front of the camera and in a second, he heard her scream again, making icy shards stab his spine.

His daughter and lover dead! For something he did? Who even found out about them after he concealed them so well?

His mind dazed with the loss and going through whom this revenge was from, he almost didn't catch the dagger aimed to slice his throat. He deflected it barely and ended up locked arm in arm with Uhura.

Her face was twisted in a snarl. "You had another lover?!"

"Captain," a woman called.

Spock waited for T'Ratka to meet him, the now returned Savoruf taking a patient stance at his shoulder.

She handed him a padd. "For you."

The report was in High Vulcan hieroglyphics and encoded further against prying eyes. Spock deciphered it as he read.

Demora and her mother, as they expected, held no loyalty for Sulu and eagerly left with Spock's people for a new secure location. The woman was already proving her strength as an ally by describing in detail what she could against Sulu and his movements.

Sulu, of course, was told they were dead, and Soluk had provided convincing camera footage to support that idea, much as he had years ago with Saavik's faked booth recording for Kirk.

The report noted Uhura was with Sulu when he got the news, and that the _Excelsior_ was shaking under her wrath. Apparently Kirk was right. Nobody knew about Sulu's lover and daughter, including his other lover and first officer.

Spock handed the report back and nodded in approval. T'Ratka dropped the padd to the ground and destroyed with a phaser blast set to low burn. Nobody could learn its contents now.

"And our new science officer and my first officer?" he asked.

"Loyal to Commander Uhura as we expected."

"They will not be here long then."

"No, sir. Dead or transferred?"

He thought about it. "Transferred. Somewhere unpleasant. Perhaps her other people will be less likely to come aboard. If anymore do, kill those. Sooner or later, the message will get through. I will promote Lieutenant Commander Copin to First Officer as I always intended, but now we have the paths Uhura used to get people onboard."

"We also have the third person who transferred into Security after we took one into your personal guard."

"Leave him." She asked him to repeat it, thinking she hadn't heard him correctly. "Leave him. This way, we know who the enemy is and they think they have scored a victory. But make sure to warn Mr. Fathiyya."

She fell into step with Savoruf and him. "The replacements for the guard now assigned to Stron are arriving on the transport from Vulcan in two days. As requested, several are non-Vulcan including a couple Andorians, a Trill, and two Terrans with one named Maxwell Grayson. Sir, the latter?"

"Vulcans claim to honor diversity, and yet we ourselves had only our own kind in my personal guard. As for Mr. Grayson, a second cousin of mine who has many to kill before I am a threat to his birthright. All of the new recruits have been verified, but have Mr. Soluk put them through Saavik's standard security checks."

He appreciated Soluk staying as Saavik's second in the guard when Stron left for _Reliant_. Saavik trusted very few with the position during normal times let alone while she was down. As soon as possible, he'd send Soluk to join Stron and T'Mes.

"Anything else, T'Ratka?"

She didn't get to answer because they suddenly heard Kirk bellow, "Spock!"

Again, he was forced to wait for someone else. "Yes, Admiral?"

Trailing behind at the proper pace was Kirk's new Chief Guard, Kohinoor, a tall, heavily muscled woman with a hint of Asian ancestry in her almond eyes and high cheekbones. An interesting change for the admiral, appointing a woman to the rank, as Spock had noted when he first saw her. Was the admiral influenced by the Empress or was this the price he paid to make the woman his? If the latter, she wouldn't last long, but the experience would move her into a good post elsewhere in the Fleet.

"Hear the good news?" Kirk rubbed his hands together in excitement. "The Klingons are so pissed off about Narendra III, you can hear their growls from here."

Spock was less enthusiastic about the destruction, but he could not save everyone. "Congratulations, sir."

"I know it was hardly a challenge, but now that the Klingons are ready to bite, we should see something worth our time." He walked with them towards the lift. "Going to the bridge?"

"I just left there, Admiral."

"Then where?"

"If it is so important that you know, Sickbay."

Kirk threw an arm out like he was stopping Spock from crashing into something. "Spock, take some advice. Don't get attached, not to anyone. Not your lovers or family or the people you serve with. It makes you weak."

And Sarek's voice whispered from memory: _Saavik means your death_.

"Look at me," Kirk said. Spock thought the admiral was the last person to be a role model for personal relationships. "I grew up with my brother, listened to my father, and being the dutiful son and brother. But my father got in my way so I got rid of him, and if George or his sons became a problem, I'd get rid of them too. I've had my share of women and dozens on top of that. Plus my share of professional alliances."

"Such as ours or McCoy's," Spock noted wryly. He wondered what Kohinoor thought about the comment on women.

"Exactly. We're a good partnership, and as long as it stays that way, fine. But since we both want to get to the top of the Empire, we're going to clash sooner or later." And the hazel eyes cut into his.

"I have stated more than once, Admiral, that I will not seek your death." With Kirk's propensity to bring his enemies to a seething heat, he'd get himself killed. "And I am content for you to be the greater target." In fact, Spock would let Kirk have the throne if he didn't know the human would create a worse Empire than the one they had already.

Kirk's jaw worked in and out while he decided to believe that. "Good. The thing is, never let people get their hooks into you, don't let them drag you down. You don't get far by getting attached and held back by people."

Spock thought of his relationship with his mother, of even Sarek coming to his support in the end, of the strong bonds with T'Mes, Stron, and Soluk just to name a few, and of Saavik who would die rather than hold him back.

Even this man, even Kirk; their alliance would be stronger with friendship as the last few days showed. And he couldn't see that.

Sadly, the Kirks in this universe did succeed, but Spock thought he'd be much stronger if, when he got to the top, he had let people get their hooks into him.

"I appreciate the advice, Admiral. May I give my own? Do not be in haste to throw away your allies."

With a smirk, Kirk clapped him on the back. "I said I'd keep you around as long as it got me somewhere."

Spock watched the man leave for the lift and, for a moment, felt pity. 

He entered Sickbay and walked right into a standoff. Silently chastising himself for not sending someone ahead as he inevitably plowed into someone in the medical ward these days, he took in McCoy's stiff backed stance, cross armed and glaring, and aimed at the other party in the conflict, Saavik.

"Is there a problem?" he asked.

"There you are!" McCoy exclaimed. "You're late!"

"Only by two minutes, 47 seconds, Doctor."

"Well, it felt like longer. Especially when I'm putting up with this one!"

T'Ratka was crossing to flank Soluk, but the only important thing to Spock was seeing Saavik sitting up in bed, the faintly forming scars not taking away from how much better she looked. The bones in her face were healed and the swelling gone, her eyes normal again, and -- he inhaled sharply as his gaze traveled down -- her arms were on her raised knees, and her hands were repaired, dangling idly on top of the blanket. 

McCoy made a disgusted noise next to him. "There she goes again. Dammit, I hoped that was getting better."

He was so engrossed in seeing her better, he had missed the most disturbing thing. She was staring blankly into space, not even aware of her surroundings. The mental instability hadn't gone away. Something pulled her back inside her head and he worried about where she was trapped.

He spoke past his dry throat. "Your diagnosis, Doctor?"

"Well, her mouth's got its strength back. She was blistering my ears plenty a minute ago. But she was like this when she came out of surgery this morning." 

They approached the bed and McCoy reached out to touch her. Soluk gave a sharp look at him and Spock quietly signaled the man to stand down.

McCoy bristled. "That's what the argument was about before you came in. Saavik won't let me near her and this guy," he stabbed a finger at Soluk, "snarls if I try."

Some of Spock's own antagonism came out in his voice. "She has good reason not to trust you. Your interference cost her a child."

McCoy answered, haunted, "You think I can forget that?"

Spock looked away. He'd never forget either and perhaps never forgive, but he had made the man a promise to move on. "You performed surgery?"

"Yeah." The doctor evaporated his cheerless mood by taking great pleasure in pushing Soluk out of his way. He picked up one of Saavik's hanging hands. "Fixed a lot of bones and did some neural work. You were pretty prophetic in what you said to the Empress. Saavik will need a lot of physical therapy. I have more neural treatments in her hands -- the left's worse than the right, that boot must have just hit harder--"

Spock longed for less graphic detail.

"And I got some neural work in the face too, but all in all, it's a nice job, if I do say so myself. But to gain use of her hands again so she can stab and shoot people who look at you wrong--"

"She is the science officer for this vessel, Doctor."

"So I hear, and she'll need her hands for that too. But she needs physical therapy to get it all back. And she's been lying in that bed too long for my liking. Her muscles are going to atrophy so I want to get her walking today if possible. It's a good thing she has the constitution of an Amazon or I don't think she'd be sitting up now." He looked again into those blank eyes. "But if she's like this-- Spock, I admit this isn't my game. I can't do much about her mental state and I can't test her hands to see if they can -- well, do Vulcan things."

He coughed delicately. "Another thing, I saw a note in Sagar's report - which was written in your heathen tongue, by the way. What a pain in the ass that was to get translated."

T'Ratka took this moment to check the sharpness of her dagger.

"Anyway," McCoy continued, blithely ignoring her, and lowered his voice, "her reproductive system wasn't tested. Is that something--"

"Yes," Spock said shortly.

"Thought so. If it is damaged, she'll need to go to a hospital. This is a battleship. They don't equip Sickbay to handle baby making."

McCoy's usual caustic manner was too much today. "In summary, Doctor."

"I can get her pretty far. With time and work, she'll be back on duty, no problems. I'm leaving the cosmetic work for last, the neural work and physical therapy is more important, so you'd better not mind how she looks."

"Most certainly not," Spock answered instantly.

"Good thing she's your mistress and not Jim's or Sulu's. She'd be out on her ass."

__

She is not my mistress-- yet. "Doctor," Spock warned.

"Yeah, I was saying, I can get her back to normal for normal duty. I can't help with her Vulcan mental abilities including what's going on her head."

"A Vulcan healer will arrive on a transport day after tomorrow."

"Good. And I'll check the reproductive system and get a specialist for you if it's necessary. But, ah, Spock," McCoy cleared his throat, "you should be prepared. She was badly hurt and reproductive organs are very delicate. She may not be able to have kids."

Spock put that thought away. He couldn't do anything about it now and must wait until he could. And if Saavik was sterile-- she was still his.

If she agreed.

He put that thought away too. He didn't take her actions when they shared that moment in her mind or when she first awoke as a solid indication. Those displays might be nothing more than a woman sharing some tenderness for the man who survived the same conflict she did and for the father of her lost child. He wanted more than that. He _needed_ more than that.

But being his lover already cost her a high price from the attack by Terrell's people to the anger of those who saw her using the position to get her successes. She was too fiercely independent for that.

"You know," McCoy said, "if she's going to stay quiet, I'd better take advantage of it. I have those neural treatments and the new tests -- let me get set up."

He took a few steps before stopping and speaking over his shoulder, not meeting Spock's eyes. "You could tell her I'm sorry."

"I could."

McCoy did look at him then, startled. In a moment, he snorted. "Thanks a lot."

Spock waited for him to be gone. "Report," he told Soluk.

"Nothing of interest, Captain."

T'Ratka gave him a pointed stare, and Spock saw with a great deal of amusement that Soluk shifted his weight from foot to foot with unease.

"Except for earlier when the lieutenant realized her extra security and the-- stares from people-- who-- ah--" Soluk trailed off, more uncomfortable than Spock ever saw him.

T'Ratka, with a look of amused disdain for her compatriot, told Spock plainly. "She discovered the rumored news about her relationship with you, Captain."

Spock's eyebrows arched into his bangs.

"She blamed herself. She said something she did when she woke up the other day started these rumors. She was concerned about you, that she offended you with this news."

__

Of course. "Anything else?"

"She knows of the continued mental instability. She said you were not to risk yourself in trying to correct it or contact her further."

"What did you tell her?"

"That I calculated a 98.99% probability that you would, sir, and that you would not give two damns about the risk."

Spock wryly noted the swearing, taking in T'Ratka's easily impressionable age. "I would suggest you not let Saavik be a model for your vocabulary, Ensign, but I congratulate you on your calculation and logic."

"Aye, sir."

"Anything else?"

"The lieutenant asked for her phaser or knife, but only when Dr. McCoy was near. Soluk," T'Ratka again gave a look for her fellow guard, "was going to give them to her."

Soluk nodded calmly enough when Spock looked over in question. "She is my superior officer, Captain."

"Quite true. However, until a peace accord can be set," Spock said dryly, "I suggest we keep weapons out of reach."

T'Ratka gave Soluk a silent "I told you so" which was greeted with a superior scowl.

"If there is nothing else," he asked them. They shook their heads. "Then I ask for a moment alone."

They immediately moved away, still in a good position to watch over their charges, but their backs turned and their ears carefully tuned out for what was said behind them.

_"She discovered the rumored news about her relationship with you."_

He remembered how all this started with him believing she'd never come to him for his pon farr, and how she was the one with the courage to do just that, with no urging from him, on Thieurrull. He owed her the same.

He looked at those healed hands and fit his fingers into her palms, wandering deep into her vacant eyes. "Saavik."

He stroked her palms with his fingertips, the intimate gesture sending currents up his arms. "The choice is yours, Saavik, but if you decide on me, I will come to you."

He waited, summoning patience. McCoy said he couldn't test her hands, said some neural damage still existed. Patience. The doctor couldn't know one way or the other if her telepathic senses worked. Silence did not mean refusal.

Patience.

"Saavik."

From a distance, light came back into her eyes and she cupped her hands around his fingers.


End file.
